So, my girlfriend is in porn and I don't know what to do.

[Best of the 3]

For what? "Help officer! I think this chick I'm dating may have made a few bucks doing stuff the church condemns!", that's never going to get listened to since it's not a crime or.... oh wait, America...

Pretty sure you've got to be 18 to model in pornography. (You certainly do here in the UK anyway, and thats despite the age of consent being 16).

Being in school indicates that she's not.

Or have I missed something here?

I dunno, I'm 18 and in 6th form (albeit just finished and only have the tests to go now), which me and my friends call school because that's basically what it is. A few of my friends are also redoing a year, they're 19.

OT: Honestly I have no idea what I'd do. Try maybe asking a 3rd party, see if they know or get an idea of what they think. Make it someone you trust though.

 

[zxvcasdfqwerzxcv]

I really doubt that it's your gf. Honestly, there are so many people who look similar in this world its likely just a coincidence. 98% certain is not certain enough really, unless there is something particularly distinguishing about her (scars, tattoos, peg legs, eye patch) I would just forget about it.

Or you can give us pics so we can compare for you (in the name of, ahem, objectivity!)

Also if she IS in school (ie: a minor), forget that last statement, and also slap her for being an underage porn actress!

 

[DigitalSushi]

Dude, your dating a pornstar, rock on
*brofist*

I think you should strut down the road with a smirk on your face

Could you post/PM a link?

I'm shocked we got to the second page before someone asked this

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

Your girlfriend is in porn?

 

[CellShaded]

I thought the same about my girlfriend, too. So I asked her. She just laughed and shrugged it off(After assuring me that it's not her)..then we watched it together. : D

Seriously though, don't jump to conclusions. But if you really are so sure, then I'd suggest just sitting her down and talking to her about it(without accusing her of anything).

Also, people, seriously. You can be 18 and still be going to school.

 

[Toilet]

Link to the video?

On the bright side if it is her you can use it for masturbation material.

 

[Dastardly]

So, there's this girl at school that I've been casually dating for a while now, and it started getting serious about a week ago. Yesterday I saw a banner ad on a website that linked to several pornographic videos. What caught my attention was an eerie feeling that I recognized one of the girls, so I clicked on the link. I'm 98% sure it's her, but I don't know if I want to bring it up or not.

I don't have a problem with it, if she is, but I'm afraid of what impact it would have on us as a couple this early in the relationship, and even more afraid of what would happen if I ask and it wasn't her. What would you do in this situation?

Few things to consider:

1. You're dating, not married or engaged. She's still allowed to have secrets.

2. The world has a lot of people in it, and some look the same. 98% isn't 100%. Might not be her.

3. Maybe it is her. That means she WAS in porn, not IS, necessarily. Could be she's trying to put it behind her (no doggystyle jokes intended).

4. Decide what it is you are upset about: the idea of her being in porn, the idea of her not telling you, or the possibility that you'll bring it up and find it's not her.

5. Consider what about this could upset her: Maybe it's something she wants to forget, maybe she just doesn't want to discuss it, maybe it's not her and she suddenly has to deal with all of this for no reason.

6. Weigh your choice carefully. What do you stand to gain by bringing this up? What do you stand to lose? How about what she stands to gain/lose?

My conclusion: Without knowing either of you, or whether or not it's her in some video, I don't think it's worth it at this point in your relationship. The only thing you stand to gain is knowledge you really can't do anything good with, and will cost her a terrible price emotionally if anything should go wrong.

You haven't mentioned anything bad or weird in the relationship, so obviously it isn't a problem. What's bugging you is just an unanswered question. And your subconscious is trying to make that question super-important, because it wants an answer -- any answer. When that happens, sometimes we'll sacrifice something good just to get that answer... but more often, we throw someone else in traffic as a result.

For now, don't ask. You're not sure it's her, and nothing good can come of pursuing this for now. Don't seek out an answer. Let it go. Enjoy your time with each other. If it goes somewhere (like marriage, someday), then maybe you'll have a right to know. If it doesn't, then at least you didn't ruin what you had by digging for an answer you didn't need.

 

[Starik20X6]

-snip

My two cents: I wouldn't bring it up unless it really bothers you. What kind of video was it? I mean, was it shot on a crappy camera in a quiet room 'amateur' stuff or was it professional looking? I.e. could it have been shot by an ex-boyfriend and he put it online out of spite or were people getting paid?

I remember doing a double take once when I saw a *ahem* model who looked uncannily like my (now ex) girlfriend. Wasn't her, but it made me jump a little. Hey, we're talking about the same girl!

 

[Doom-Slayer]

If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to her about it. A relationship can't work too well on an emotional level if there isn't open communication about your feelings.

Well, that's a lot simpler than my train of thought was.

Is she from Texas? My ex was from there and ive seen pics of her around the place. Also ya, just talk to her, communication is always the best.

 

[RagTagBand]

Don't pursue curiosity with the girlfriend, that's just a bad idea from stem to stern.

Pursue your curiosity with the pornstar. Go back to the site, find the video and find the porn stars name, then do some research on what else she's been in etc etc.

I mean, watching more than a few second clip on the banner should tell you all you need to know, unless you're the most unobservant guy in the world.

 

[malestrithe]

Well, the fact that you are asking total strangers for advice on how to proceed means that it bothers you a lot more than you let on... Otherwise why ask? Just saying.

That being said, it's better to get things out in the open and not let it linger. If you that she is a porn star, ask her. Don't be a dick about it, but simply tell her that you were on a website and saw someone that looked like you. If it is her, she will understand what you mean.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Google her name with safesearch off.

If shes done Porn you will likely find her name somewhere in credits or something

I don't think anyone with a brain has made a porn under their actual name.

 

[mysecondlife]

Google her name with safesearch off.

If shes done Porn you will likely find her name somewhere in credits or something

You obviously haven't seen this video.

 

[loa]

If you wouldn't have a problem even if it was her then why bring it up?
What's the problem?

 

[Random Fella]

You guys know you can be in school at 18 right? *facepalm*

Or at 16, which is legal in most countries.

Or at 15, which is legal in a couple of European countries, like Sweden.

Or at 14, which is legal in Japan, Saudi Arabia and Iceland.

Or at 13 OH GOD YOU SICK FUCKS YOU, EGYPT!

Are you sure it's legal for them to Star in porn at those ages, or just have sex?
Because in NZ, where I am, you can have intercourse at 16, but the age limit of porn is still 18