So, what about this idea? (Relationship help sorta)

[Canadamus Prime]

Guys are dense. A note might be the subtlest idea that will actually work.

HEY!... we are not dense !... our brains just not work as fast as girls..

Oh yes we are, esp. when it comes to girls. I certainly won't try and deny it.

OT: I don't know. I haven't much experience in this area. *sigh* Anyway, speaking for myself, I'd probably be grateful that a girl is taking an interest in me (as sad as that sounds), but I don't know if I'd ever get up the nerve to actually call. As difficult as it might be, you'd probably be better talking to him in person.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

First of all, I'm terrible at giving advice.
That said I'll do a ham-handed attempt anyway.

I could say that a bit of alcohol may temporarily stop you from being shy, but that would be an even more terrible piece of advice than usual.

First of all, I reckon it would be easier to ask him out if you're not surrounded by people.
Secondly, you might want to start with asking if he wants to go for a cup of coffee, or similar.
Just being friendly with the guy is bound to increase your courage towards asking him out, and probably it will give the guy in question som extra chances to catch on and stop being your average blockhead.

If I made it worse, feel free to kick me in the shins.

 

[crunchieman]

I'd say go for it. The guy might take it as cute and think your good looking, because honestly that will be his initial opinion of you especially if you're not going to actually talk to him. First he's going to see you but anyway best of luck.

And by the way prepare something for the "call" you dont want it to be like:
Him: Hey, I called you.
You: So you did..
*hangs up due to awkwardness*

 

[Naheal]

Guys are dense. A note might be the subtlest idea that will actually work.

Not all of them.

As a guy, I can say that "dense" when it comes to relationships is pretty accurate. With some, that's being nice.

I'm not a guy, but I will give some advice regardless: I do not think a note is the best idea. I've always been one for going up and asking/saying it, that way it's done then and there, you can see the reaction on his face (versus letting him build and ponder you in his mind via some note) and likewise he can see your reactions too. To me, it's just the best way of going about these sorts of things. Honestly and upfront usually cancels out any shy middle mans too, which plague most people from asking others out from the get go.

Coffee works wonders, actually.

Edit: Hey! 5k posts!

Not everyone likes coffee though. ;P

Coffee shops sell more than just coffee So long as it's socially intensive, that's what works best. Also, I'll stand by what I said earlier in the thread...

...Coffee shops work really well for a high-social interaction between you and the person you're trying to talk to. If you two connect well, you'll find out then.

For first conversations, a good rule of thumb that I've found is that, if you run out of things to talk about in 15 minutes or if you lose interest in that first 15 minutes, it probably won't work out.

I still don't think it's grounds for making that statement though, personally. Saying guys are dense is grouping them all together, and it's simply not true. In reality, both genders can be dense to a degree. Social norms would have most people believe guys are dense though, but there is quite a bit more to it then that in my opinion.

If we were going with social tendencies, guys tend to be less socially aware than girls are in general. We don't start as early and we don't group up as often. Even then, when we group together, we're usually competing with each other for something or another. To a typical guy, it's second nature to size up a potential rival and see where you can outdo him.

While you'd think that the exception would be with nerds, that's really not the case. If anything, we're worse in a typical social situation, as we generally haven't fit in to any real social group for the majority of our lives. Further, while we might be intelligent, chatting with a nerd might feel like you're talking with someone who's trying to be both short and get on with their life. The reality is that, while you're talking to said nerd, they're sizing you up. They're trying to get a feel for who you are and what you want. In the back of their mind, if they're interested in you, they might be wondering if you're interested in them, but they're not going to pick up on those signals that often. To make matters worse, if said nerd's ever been hurt in the past, not only are they going to catch on fairly quickly, it might be a detriment to you if show signs of being interested.

If you're talking to a regular guy, just walking up and chatting with him might be a good idea, but, with someone who'd be considered a nerd, you're only going to make them feel uncomfortable at best.

 

[zombiesinc]

I agree with Aylaine, I don't think giving this guy a note on your way out the door is the best idea. It is the easier way to get your point across, but I think that going up to him and letting him know that you're interested in getting to know him would gain you more respect. Whereas giving him a short note with your number attached may actually give the wrong impression, one that I doubt you're interested in giving.

It also leaves a lot of blanks that could be filled wrongly by either one of you. Talking to him upfront would allow both of you to see one another's reactions, which would put you in a better position to figure out if he's interested or not. It'll take quite a bit of courage to put yourself out there, but in the long run, I think it's the more straight forward and honest way to go about it.

Best of luck with whichever method you do choose to go through with!

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Confidence! You need to have the confidence to face a rejection head-on, and not let it get to you if he is not interested. Think about it from the guy's perspective: he's just found your note, but he is not interested in you. Does that mean that he has to ring you just to tell you he is not interested? By giving him your number, you are kind of assuming he is in fact already interested, which as you've said, you are not 100% sure.

To me, it just sounds like you don't want to face rejection so you are looking for an easy way out. It sounds quite selfish to me actually.

 

[Daveman]

Personally, I'd love a little message in my pocket. At the very least I'd find it flattering and at the most... well... it'd be awesome.

It's happened to me once and I didn't really like the girl and I've always felt bad for not responding to her. If I could go back and redo it I would because it's one of the coolest times I've been hit on, ever.

 

[BlueOnBlue]

If a girl were to slip a note to me when we were walking by each other at a door it would be pretty cool, and I'd give them something for at least being kind of clever. But honestly I would prefer if they just talked to me and didn't do something like that, because you gain a lot of respect from a guy when you actually go up to them and talk to them.

 

[CaptainKoala]

Okay, I need a guy's opinion on something.

See, there's this guy in one of my classes and I really think he has a small thing for me (some of you may remember that thread, and I really appreciate all the help I got on it!). Nothing big, I know that much, since we never really get the chance to talk to each other. Well, long story short, I'd really like to get to know him too. Only problem is that I tend to be really shy with that kind of a thing, I have yet to work up the nerve to just march up to him and talk to him.

Well, I'm going to be dropping the class too, so I won't see him again anyway. I always walk past him on my way out the door, so I was thinking of maybe slipping him a small piece of paper with my phone number with a small little message. I figure it's simple enough and gets the message across.

Or does this seem like the worst idea ever? :/ It seems okay to me, but I dunno how a guy would take it.

Also, any tips on a clever little message? I just keep coming up with really simple stuff like "call me" and that's just...really simple.

I appreciate it, guys.

A note is probably going to work pretty well, I say go for it.
There's a girl I like in my class who flirts with me a lot, but usually its so subtle I don't notice it until later. Guys are pretty slow to notice when girls have a thing for them. So go for the note. Good luck!

 

[mew1234321]

Yeah, us guys are pretty retarded. (Hurray for self-depredation!)

Best idea would be to try and talk to him, and have the note as a back-up plan.

It depends on what kind of guy he is, I suppose. I mean, he may not call the number, which would be sad. I know I would, though I also know several who wouldn't, beacause it would be kind of awkward.

Your best bet would be to try and talk to him. If does have a thing for you, then he WILL be glad for the opportunity, provided it's at a good time. That much I can be certain about.

 

[ultimateownage]

Well apparently you're 18, so really it would be better just to talk to him. Although it depends what he's like, if you don't know what he'd think of it then it'd probably be best to just talk to him but if he's the sweet kind of guy then go for it.

 

[Frotality]

seriously? subtlety is COMPLETELY wasted on us. a note is fine, but at least for me, i am completely oblivious, and more importantly uninterested in the flirty games women seem to like to play with men they like. i cant speak for others, but the most direct way is the best way for me. seriously, nothing comlpicated at all; just walk up, "hey, i like you. wanna do something sometime?"; if he is even the slightest bit interested, he'll probably say yes.

completely off topic and weird, but this is why i like rap as a metaphor for human relationships. excluding the fact that the subject matter is quite often childish fantasy and misogyny, it is direct with its message; no complicated metaphors and dreamlike descriptions like other music.

why cant more women be like rap?