So , what's the point of being in a relationship.


New member
Mar 22, 2008
Weird question , i know . But what exactly is the point? So many people are In relationships or trying to get into a relationship . Why?

Companionship ? Yeah i get this. Having someone with you to keep you company . But can't you do this with friends and/or pets?

Guarenteed sex ? This is the answer my best ( female ) friend gave me and i quote :" well if you play your cards right you are 100% sure to get sex " . Yes she was being serious . I find this to be a terrible reason , it's so easy to get laid now a days , this is basically a non-issue.

Having a famiy ? This is the only reason that makes sense , i you want to have a family , and are trying to find the right person to start with , then this makes sense . However when you are young or have no intentions of having kids , then this reasons falls through .

I am in a relationship . And i was asking myself whats the point . Why am i doing this . I want no family , i don't need "guarenteed sex " and i don't really SEEK companionship . I can't really find a reason for being in a relationship ( for me personally ) . Relationships comes with it's upsides and downsides , and i find that in general there are way more downsides than upsides . So escapists , what's the point? Why do we strive to be in a relationship?


New member
Mar 17, 2011
Simply put, relationships aren't for everyone.

If you don't see the point in being in one, then don't be in one.


New member
Jul 9, 2010
Well, I think the major reasons are definitely companionship and starting a family. Friends are grea and all when you're young, but when you get older and your friends start marrying off and having babies, you're going to drop in their list of priorities, making them far less reliable as a source of companionship. As for pets, they're great but the conversations get a little one-sided and you have to dispose of their poop.

For me personally, I'm rather uninterested in romantic relationships. I'm far more concerned in having a family around me. However, I'm an only child and the only close family I have are my mother, grandmother, uncle and grandfather. Once they pop their collective clogs, I'll be rather on my own. So, even though I'm not especially caught up with a need to make smoochie faces at someone, I will probably try finding someone to settle down with eventually.

Plus, Christmas is boring now. I need to get me some kids so that Christmas will be fun again.


New member
Dec 13, 2008
Is the concept of love entirely alien to you? The more serious relationships I've had were more a case of 'I feel the need to be around and care for this person' than 'I'd like a companion'.

To be honest right now I don't want to be in a relationship, but I understand reasons for wanting to be in one. Companionship with a partner isn't the same as other family for obvious reasons. Hell, I'll admit that it'd be nice to let out the romantic in me a little.

As for your point about sex? Well, yes, it's a poor reason to be in a serious relationship, but you're grossly overestimating it is for average singles to hook up (unless you're my irritatingly handsome friend, in which case, vagina comes flying at you from all angles), it smacks if cliche moaning about societal decline with very little bearing on reality.

To be honest though, if you're wondering what the point is then you should probably think about breaking up. I mean, if you really don't understand why you're there then you're clearly not in love.

EDIT: The misanthropy in this thread is utterly hilarious, it's like it's 2009 again!


Want Skyrim. Want. Do want.
Nov 26, 2008
People find it in different ways. Whether it's natural or some kind of social conditioning, lots of people find it in having someone. Others, not so much. Depends on the person really.


New member
Mar 28, 2008
I am in a relationship because I fell in love with my friend, and she fell in love with me. We were friends with benefits, so we had all the advantages of regular sex, companionship ect... But when we fell in love with each other, sex became meaningful and we began to want exclusivity. I want to be around her, and I want her to be around me. The thought of her with someone else hurts, and a relationship is sort of an agreement that we won't be with anyone else.

I guess the point of a relationship is being exclusive to each other. Be it for love or other reasons.
Jan 27, 2011
Because it's a certain kind of companionship you can't get anywhere else.

You can't cuddle with your best friend and feel happy just holding them.
You can't hold a fun conversation or play videogames with your dog.

Being in a relationship gives you someone who you can always count on and have fun with while also making you feel happy just holding them in your arms.

And there's more to it that I can't vocalize. But that's the basic idea.

Oh and also, our genes push us towards it. :p


New member
Apr 3, 2009
I'd say it's a combination between wanting companionship and wanting sex. You can get companionship from close friends, but you can't get sex from them. You can also get sex from prostitutes and fuck-buddies, but you don't get that romantic companionship. If you don't feel a need for sex and companionship from your girlfriend OP, then you need to sort some stuff out with your girlfriend.


New member
Apr 16, 2011
No idea, never been in one, no intention to ever be in one.

For what I've been able to piece together over the years, most people either do what society expects them to do without putting much thought into it, or they genuinely have a need for romantic companionship and/or starting a family.

And that's as far as I'll ever know on the subject, so have fun being single.

Johnny Impact

New member
Aug 6, 2008
Spot1990 said:
They think I'm anti-relationship or something which isn't true. I just hate the attitude of "I want a relationship." To me wanting a relationship should come after meeting someone you want a relationship with.
We have a winner! My philosophy of dating was -- I say was because I haven't dated in over a decade -- that I didn't have a clue what was going to happen. We could talk for five minutes and realize we weren't compatible, or we could be blissfully married a year from now. I didn't know. How could I? We just met! There was no way to know, except to be around this person a few times and see if anything good happened. To look for a relationship is to make a bad assumption and skip a very important step.

OP: You've been there, sounds like more than once, and you still ask that question. What that says to me is you probably ought not to bother.

Parents and grandparents will pressure you to form stable bonds, because that's what their generation did -- or so the theory goes. If they were lucky, and worked hard, those bonds enhanced their lives. If they were unlucky, or unsuited to the lifestyle, or just plain didn't try hard enough, their relationships/marriages turned into sucking black vortexes of hate and despair far worse than solitude could ever have been. Yet even most of the unlucky ones will tell you to go find someone special, simply because that's what they tried to do.

The thing to remember is your elders aren't inherently smarter than you. They're more experienced. That's all. They can't tell you what's right for you. Personalities differ. Some people simply prefer to be alone. I'm not going to spout any "you just need the right person" bullshit at you because bullshit is exactly what it would be.

Sniper Team 4

New member
Apr 28, 2010
Sounds like your relationship is over if that's how you view it.

You want a science reason? Love. As defined by a certain penguin in a TV show: "Love. A chemical reaction in the brain. Highly addictive." People get addicted to the feeling of being in love--the happiness, the joy, all those other emotions--and it's just like smoking. You can't quit it and people will struggle to keep it.
People also seek validation for their existence. For many people, having someone say, "I love you," makes them feel like they are not worthless. That someone cares about them--even if that same person treats them like crap, beats them, and has less respect for them than they do for themselves.

But those are rather depressing reasons, aren't they? Here's why I want a relationship:

I was in one once. I liked the idea of someone thinking that I meant something to them. Something different than what my brother feels for me, or my parents, or my friends. I liked that she would call me at work just to surprise me. I liked that, on Valentine's Day, she sent me a bunch of balloons because I had told her once that I had never received anything like that on Valentine's Day. I liked that she listened to me, and that I could tell her ANYTHING and she wouldn't care. Things that you don't feel comfortable talking to your friends or family about. I liked when she'd tell me a story about something she saw that reminded her of me. I liked walking, with no place to go, just holding her hand while we walked. I liked making her smile, making her laugh, and taking her mind off of things that made her sad. And when I couldn't do that, I liked being their and just listening to her vent, or hold her while she cried. I liked when she snuggled up under my arm while we watched a movie, and that she giggled when she could hear my heart pounding from the battle scenes in Lord of the Rings. I liked going to sleep knowing that someone cared about me that deeply.

I liked that I was special to someone.

Those are my reasons for being in a relationship. Sadly, I'm no longer in one, but those are the things that made the whole thing worth while. Sappy I know, but it's all true.


Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
Because when 2 people have a spark that means they enjoy each-other's company on physical, mental, and emotional levels, then why not? If 2 people find that they prefer being together to not being together, then why not? There doesn't have to be any long-term goal or point unless that also suits them. Just do what you wanna do.


New member
Nov 7, 2011
krazykidd said:
snippity snip
sounds like your unhappy with your relationship krazykidd. When you begin to ask yourself why am I in a relationship, is the time when you need to start considering exiting it.

to stay on topic, my answer is love, an emotion that's stronger than simple friendship with your bros and or your hoes. Apparently.


New member
Aug 30, 2011
Being appreciated? Being able to make a joke and have someone hear it? Feedback? Support? Offline co-op? Doing multiple things at once? Not having to buy a whole house on your own? good reason I suppose.


Elite Member
Jan 16, 2010
"It depends."

Two people can decide to have a relationship for all sorts of reasons. There's no one right answer. Maybe giant space lizards are somehow involved. Probably not, but you never know.


New member
Dec 17, 2012
Because I've found someone who I am
A. Best friends with
B. Mutually sexually attracted to
C. Financially interdependent with
D. Comfortable living with
E. Able to as a potential co-parent to my child

Meeting all of that criteria - I have my fiance.


Jack of No Trades
May 16, 2008
it's the social construct that allows for all of those things in a single package, plus the feeling of being in love is one of the best feelings our brains are capable of producing.


New member
Aug 9, 2009
Pretty sure people start getting committed (to an asylum) around the same time they start equating pets to romantic relationships.