So , what's the point of being in a relationship.

TheDrunkNinja

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VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Birthdays, valentines day, dinners out, dinners in, travel costs. It ain't cheap and neither is the other two expensive habits I have. I simply cannot afford to spend money and time on someone else while I A)Smoke and B) collect plastic miniatures that cost £24 for a box of 5.
Personally, I've found it to be about as cheap as going out with my regular friends. The only difference between how I treat my girlfriend and my regular friends is that I do buy her something on Valentines day, which is just once in a year. Other than that my financial situation is barely any different than back when we were just friends. I think you're putting to much stock into that weird notion of the guy having to pay for everything and constantly having to go out to dinner or a movie out of some unstated obligation. It isn't really like that anymore.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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TheDrunkNinja said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Birthdays, valentines day, dinners out, dinners in, travel costs. It ain't cheap and neither is the other two expensive habits I have. I simply cannot afford to spend money and time on someone else while I A)Smoke and B) collect plastic miniatures that cost £24 for a box of 5.
Personally, I've found it to be about as cheap as going out with my regular friends. The only difference between how I treat my girlfriend and my regular friends is that I do buy her something on Valentines day, which is just once in a year. Other than that my financial situation is barely any different than back when we were just friends. I think you're putting to much stock into that weird notion of the guy having to pay for everything and constantly having to go out to dinner or a movie out of some unstated obligation. It isn't really like that anymore.
Its still too expensive for what is gotten out of it, or at least what I get out of it. My mates always joke about how terrible I would be as a partner, hell I join in myself. I still see no point to relationships right now and so it would be a waste of my effort, time and money.
 

TheDrunkNinja

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VeneratedWulfen93 said:
TheDrunkNinja said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Birthdays, valentines day, dinners out, dinners in, travel costs. It ain't cheap and neither is the other two expensive habits I have. I simply cannot afford to spend money and time on someone else while I A)Smoke and B) collect plastic miniatures that cost £24 for a box of 5.
Personally, I've found it to be about as cheap as going out with my regular friends. The only difference between how I treat my girlfriend and my regular friends is that I do buy her something on Valentines day, which is just once in a year. Other than that my financial situation is barely any different than back when we were just friends. I think you're putting to much stock into that weird notion of the guy having to pay for everything and constantly having to go out to dinner or a movie out of some unstated obligation. It isn't really like that anymore.
Its still too expensive for what is gotten out of it, or at least what I get out of it. My mates always joke about how terrible I would be as a partner, hell I join in myself. I still see no point to relationships right now and so it would be a waste of my effort, time and money.
Well whatever, I'm just telling you that my financial situation and the amount of time I spend with her it's virtually no different than when my girlfriend and I were just friends. We've just taken it to the next level and the time we spend together is that much sweeter. We both work and both spend time together and with our friends as much as we did before. See this is the difference to what you pointed about before about the expenses of a relationship: you seem to be under the impression that spending money on your girl and going out on dates are things you're just supposed to do. The reality is that these are the type of things you talk to your partner about. You come to a decision together what you want out of the relationship. If you're having financial trouble, you bring it up to her instead of just submissively going out to dinner and paying for her meal like out of some unspoken obligation. If I did that, the first thing she would say would be something along the lines of "What the hell are you doing?" We both understand the financial difficulty of two people who work but also prefer to be caught up on the latest video games because we both have that in common. It's two people deciding what to do together, and the decisions my girlfriend and I come to are usually the same to what any of my friends and I would decide when looking for something to do on a Saturday.

If you and your mates agree they aren't for you, then that's your own deal. But seriously man, don't paint everyone else with the same brush just because you've found that you'd prefer not to bother with relationships. That's the main problem people have with your incredibly broad opinion that people are lying to themselves about being in love and that relationships are pointless. We've all have experiences completely opposite to what you've convinced yourself relationships are about in the mere nineteen years of your life.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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I think there's a different reason for every relationship you have. I don't always look for the same thing at every stage of my life. Right now it's about baking brownies, having sex and playing videogames. How can I NOT want to be with her?
 

BloatedGuppy

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krazykidd said:
Maybe my view is just jaded. Maybe i'm too cynical. Maybe relationships are just not for me.
I don't want to be mean, but you are 16 years old. Talking like this at 16 is ridiculous. Not "You're too young to be jaded!" but like, you are literally too young to be jaded. It's like listening to an eight year old complain about facial hair.

Not everyone functions well as one half of a couple...there are plenty of folks out there in their 30's or 40's or 50's who have decided relationships are just not for them. Perhaps commitment doesn't sit well with them. Perhaps they prefer their own company to the company of others. Perhaps they are misanthropes, or sex addicts, or they're missing a fundamental part of their biological makeup that allows for feelings of attachment. Or maybe they've just been burned so many times they can't get close to anyone anymore, due to fear of abandonment.

In your case, the most likely scenario is you've probably had like...one relationship. And for all anyone in this thread knows, it could be a crap relationship. Hell, you're 16, most relationships at 16 are crap relationships, if you can even call them "relationships" at all.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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TheDrunkNinja said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
TheDrunkNinja said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
Birthdays, valentines day, dinners out, dinners in, travel costs. It ain't cheap and neither is the other two expensive habits I have. I simply cannot afford to spend money and time on someone else while I A)Smoke and B) collect plastic miniatures that cost £24 for a box of 5.
Personally, I've found it to be about as cheap as going out with my regular friends. The only difference between how I treat my girlfriend and my regular friends is that I do buy her something on Valentines day, which is just once in a year. Other than that my financial situation is barely any different than back when we were just friends. I think you're putting to much stock into that weird notion of the guy having to pay for everything and constantly having to go out to dinner or a movie out of some unstated obligation. It isn't really like that anymore.
Its still too expensive for what is gotten out of it, or at least what I get out of it. My mates always joke about how terrible I would be as a partner, hell I join in myself. I still see no point to relationships right now and so it would be a waste of my effort, time and money.
Well whatever, I'm just telling you that my financial situation and the amount of time I spend with her it's virtually no different than when my girlfriend and I were just friends. We've just taken it to the next level and the time we spend together is that much sweeter. We both work and both spend time together and with our friends as much as we did before. See this is the difference to what you pointed about before about the expenses of a relationship: you seem to be under the impression that spending money on your girl and going out on dates are things you're just supposed to do. The reality is that these are the type of things you talk to your partner about. You come to a decision together what you want out of the relationship. If you're having financial trouble, you bring it up to her instead of just submissively going out to dinner and paying for her meal like out of some unspoken obligation. If I did that, the first thing she would say would be something along the lines of "What the hell are you doing?" We both understand the financial difficulty of two people who work but also prefer to be caught up on the latest video games because we both have that in common. It's two people deciding what to do together, and the decisions my girlfriend and I come to are usually the same to what any of my friends and I would decide when looking for something to do on a Saturday.

If you and your mates agree they aren't for you, then that's your own deal. But seriously man, don't paint everyone else with the same brush just because you've found that you'd prefer not to bother with relationships. That's the main problem people have with your incredibly broad opinion that people are lying to themselves about being in love and that relationships are pointless. We've all have experiences completely opposite to what you've convinced yourself relationships are about in the mere nineteen years of your life.
I get you. People can be happy in relationships I just don't believe that love has anything to do with them. Theres no point to them but then theres no point to me playing video games all the time. Relationships must just be someones thing so I guess I must just be one of those miderable bastards I always knew I'd grow up into being. you either like it or you don't.
 

krazykidd

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BloatedGuppy said:
krazykidd said:
Maybe my view is just jaded. Maybe i'm too cynical. Maybe relationships are just not for me.
I don't want to be mean, but you are 16 years old. Talking like this at 16 is ridiculous. Not "You're too young to be jaded!" but like, you are literally too young to be jaded. It's like listening to an eight year old complain about facial hair.

Not everyone functions well as one half of a couple...there are plenty of folks out there in their 30's or 40's or 50's who have decided relationships are just not for them. Perhaps commitment doesn't sit well with them. Perhaps they prefer their own company to the company of others. Perhaps they are misanthropes, or sex addicts, or they're missing a fundamental part of their biological makeup that allows for feelings of attachment. Or maybe they've just been burned so many times they can't get close to anyone anymore, due to fear of abandonment.

In your case, the most likely scenario is you've probably had like...one relationship. And for all anyone in this thread knows, it could be a crap relationship. Hell, you're 16, most relationships at 16 are crap relationships, if you can even call them "relationships" at all.
I'm 24 . I said it's not like i'm 16 .

Edit: however you bring up a great point . I really think relationships aren't for me .
 

Vigormortis

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Lilani said:
I was planning to stay out of the conversation on this one, given how ridiculously jaded some of the responses have been to the...well...jaded OP, ha. But I just had to say thank you for posting that video. It was simply beautiful and demonstrates exactly why some people seek relationships.
 

TheDrunkNinja

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VeneratedWulfen93 said:
I get you. People can be happy in relationships I just don't believe that love has anything to do with them. Theres no point to them but then theres no point to me playing video games all the time. Relationships must just be someones thing so I guess I must just be one of those miderable bastards I always knew I'd grow up into being. you either like it or you don't.
Heh, yeah I guess you could see relationships like video games, pointless beyond entertainment. I just see it as the love between friends strengthened and taken to a greater level of affection. My girlfriend agrees which is why we're together. If you honestly consider yourself a miserable bastard or that society views you that way, just remember that the person you are today isn't who you are tomorrow. When I was eighteen, I identified myself as asexual since I figured I'd never get a girlfriend and I was more interested in my work as a graphic designer than getting laid since I decided that's all that really to matter in a relationship. Obviously, a lot has change in five years. The standards I set for myself and other people has change dramatically.
 

Ashadowpie

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i have no clue, but then again i dont want to be in a relationship. its a waste of time, money and emotions.

its probably because people dont want to be alone all the time and want someone to love and share life with, have kids and all that nonsense. i say simply suggest buying a pet, you get the never alone bonus, its something you can love and share your life with, you cant have kids of course but ...fuck kids, they're a nuisance anyways. one of the worst financial
things you can do is have children actually.
Anyways also, added to the relationship you get the oh so awesome two incomes. More money, better car, nicer house, double savings now you could go on vacation and enjoy life instead of being screwed financially if you're single and have a shitty pay job *sigh* stupid modern society and screwing over single incomes.

but then again if your happy alone, than enjoy the freedom to eat, sleep and do whatever very well you please! no nagging no yelling no whining no "who ate my cookies!?!" no "turn down the damn tv" none of that just * sighs concently * just peace. . .silent silent peace.
 

Spinozaad

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idon said:
Thanks for that, however just because my social life is basically non-existent doesn't mean I'm a stereotypical desperate, embarrassing nerd. It's actually quite the opposite, especially when you carry on an act for so long that everyone thinks you're someone you're not. And as for other things making you happy too, I think everyone on a gaming forum would know that. Me, I just have my death metal, that's what keeps me going.

I obviously don't know what it's like, but it must be nice for you to kinda sit on your high horse of relationship experience and tell us how our failures with the opposite sex have marked us as lepers or something for everyone else.
That's exactly the attitude you need to drop, friend. Despite life being amazing, there already is so much bitterness around. Why add to it?

Life nor society don't you anything. You're not special. You're not entitled to anything. Why not accept that, go out and do something fun?
 

Gali

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For me, the point of a relationship is having someone who appreciates/gets the 'real' you. Someone you can interact with, without having to restrain yourself. Be it on a psychological or physical level. One does not go without the other. I wouldn't say that without my significant other I'd be nothing, but he outweighs my flaws and teaches me things. You take something and give something back. And I think that's the key, you need a certain common ground of what you need/want to experience in life. At least that's how I experience what we call love. And no, I don't care if it's just on a biological or whatever level. I don't think it's the romatic bullshit they show us in movies and the like either. But it makes me feel better than before, that's what matters.

Buuuut I wouldn't say everyone needs a relationship. I was fine before. I did not need a token boyfriend to get popular or have an excuse for regular sex like my old classmates did. Especially the latter creeps me the hell out. Okay, it's not like I had any chance getting one. I was the shy nerd girl for them. I'm not what they call beautiful. But I did not and still don't care what (shallow) people think of me.
One of my friends used to behave like that. After 5 boyfriends she told me that besides some cuddling, kissing and the regular sex she and her current boyfriend had no idea what to do with each other. That's quite pathetic imo. Those 'relationships' lasted 2 months at best. My boyfriend and I do basically the same things we did before - only together. I like that and I'll do everything to make it last a lifetime.

TL;DR: Companionship is the most common point of a relationship, I think. If you feel you don't need it, then there's no point of dating for the sake of being in one. Concerning the OP, if you feel like that, I don't see the point of that relationship either.
But I wouldn't exclude the possibility of finding your significant other. No, I don't mean the 'love finds you'-bullshit, just, if you get the chance - try it. It was worth it for me.
 

Jenvas1306

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I met a guy and formed a connection with him that goes way beyond anything I would have with any other person. Its not as simple as a friendship, cause we are closer we can easier hurt each other and depend on each other more in an emotional way. Its nothing that was declared and whatever you call it, it doesnt change its nature, it is a relationship. Sex is just something that comes along with it and is worth due to the other factors around it.
I have a relationship not to have a relationship, it exists cause it happened to be due to me meeting the right guy for that.
I think its a rare thing to happen and most people just have a relationship to have one...

simple said, I have a relationship with my bf cause I love him and he loves me.

when the reason why to be in a relationship with your partner isnt absolutely obvious to you, if you arent craving to be with that person, then you shouldnt be in that relationship, cause it has already died and is just an empty shell...or there never was more.
 

Daveman

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If your relationship gives the type of companionship that can be had with literally anyone else, then I agree. However I would hope that you get more out of spending time together than you would with a guinea pig.

If your attraction to and sex is the same as with anyone else, then I agree. However I would hope that there are a myriad of different features that turn you on in weird specific ways that you don't even understand.

If you think that she is just a petri dish that you jizz into and your heir pops out of, then I agree. However I would hope that you want your kids to be an awesome amalgamation of you and your favourite person in the world and you would be excited about the prospect of teaming up to raise the most awesome human being you can.
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

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A relationship can give you that level of frindship you can't get from friends. That warm fuzzy feeling of being able to curl up on the sofa with someone and watch a film, knowing that the person you are with wants to be there, and is enjoying it as much as you.
The knowing that there is that ultimate trust level with someone, who actually wants to buy into your life and everything in it, and will be there to support and listen to your problems, and actually help you through them in the hands on way you will never get with someone who is just a friend.
And then the obvious difference between just sex and actually making love... (If you have never felt the difference then you have never done the latter...)
 

Halceon

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Companionship.

I'm looking for a person to trust and be emotionally involved in my worries, to face the horrors of entropy at my side, for which I'm willing to pay with the same. The economic and sexy benefits are just that, benefits. And, no, pets don't have the communicative skills and, most probably, the mental skills to fill the role. Friends, on the other hand, are a transient presence, I'd like a relationship (going with the very narrow meaning of the word) to have some semblance of permanence.

So... Ladies? ō_ō
 

Phasmal

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It's weird to see how split this thread is.
Some people are laying out (very good reasons) for being in a relationship.
Some other people are saying they have no relationships and don't like how being single is seen as terrible.
And then there are those going `WHAT U MEAN ITS EASY TO GET LAID`.

Some other people, like Lilani and hazabaza1 have already laid out good reasons for being in a relationship. But perhaps relationships aren't for you. Or maybe you just haven't found the right one.