So , what's the point of being in a relationship.

freaper

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Apr 3, 2010
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I'm kinda getting the vibe that you're taking relationships for granted. For some people it's really not that easy to open up to someone else, and a relationship where you can comfortably talk to someone about random stuff, and not feel like a twat is really important. Same with sex. Not everyone is comfortable/able to pick up partners in random places.
 

hooblabla6262

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Aug 8, 2008
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There is absolutely no point. Ignore all the points you already gave, and everything everyone else is saying.
Relationships are awful, and you should break up with your significant other asap.

Then you should go off in to the woods. Find a secluded area and build a nice log cabin.
Live your life out as a hermit.

Trust me. I've been in many many relationships, but I have always been at my happiest when single.
Companionship? I prefer my own company.
Family? I'm all the family I need.
Sex? Well sex can be a bit more tricky, especially as you get older or if you have some form of standards.

But before you break up with your whatever, be sure that they haven't inflated your ego. Relationships have a tendency to do that, which can lead to you thinking you are better than what you have.
And trust me, you probably aren't.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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BanicRhys said:
I was going to make a thread on this but I figure this thread is relevant enough for this question.

I have this friend that I'm considering asking out.

She's into video games, DnD, Star Trek and all that good stuff, she's nice, we get along great, she's "on the market" and she has kind of possibly said that I might be somewhat attractive. To top it all off, I'm pretty sure I have a good shot with her which is a nice change of pace.

Except I have no feelings for her beyond platonic friendship at the moment and I'm not really attracted to her either. I'm trying to disregard her physical appearance because I've fallen for girls who, in hindsight, were far uglier and because I really don't want to see myself as shallow.

I'm so conflicted right now and I'd love it if y'all would give me some advice. One side of me says that I have nothing to lose by going out with her for a bit, but the other says that I'm just desperate and I'm trying to force myself into a relationship with the first "obtainable" woman I get to know.

I just don't want to go out with her a couple of times, only then to realise I have no feelings for her.

Halp.
i've somewhat had the same problem before, and i'll say this:

There is nothing wrong with going on a few dates, trying it out so to speak. when i get deeper emotions for a girl, they don't hapeen instantaneously/first meeting her, it usually takes a solid date or two before i can surmise if i would like to date her or not.

Do you ever remotely flirt with her? perhaps try and muster up some "lite-flirting" and if she likes it or fires some back at you, You can simply ask her "Would you like to go out for *insert here* sometime?" and if she reacts positively, then great, if not, then you can just go back to hanging out. the worst she can say is "no, i don't think of you like that" and you can think to yourself "likewise".

(for a starter on the lite flirting, perhaps comment on if she looks good in a shirt, or whatever you might specifically like about her)
 

Sparrow

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Feb 22, 2009
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krazykidd said:
Can I ask, and don't take this the wrong way but, how old are you exactly? Because, although I'm not exactly an adult (or at least in my eyes I'm not) the older I've gotten the more sense a relationship has made sense to me. Besides, there's always that "when the right one comes along" thing. Who knows? Maybe you're just not with the right person.
 

Gavmando

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Feb 3, 2009
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Well, i've just spent the last two days being as sick as I have ever been in my life, and my girlfriend has taken care of me. It sucks being sick on your own.
I'm not saying that's the only reason, but it is one that people dont often think of.
 

Bigsmith

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krazykidd said:
I have been in a relationship for what is coming up to be 3 years, but here is the twist: both my self and my girlfriends are virgins. No, I don't mean we were when we started going out, we still are.

Basically I really couldn't care less when it comes to sex, sure I want to do it as some point but I'm not going to pressure the one I love into doing it or leave her because she doesn't want to.

Back on topic:

I'm personally in it for Companionship, I'm an independent person at heart but I love having someone to be their for/ having someone to be their for me on a level that friends just don't suffice.

Plus we get to do all the experimental stuff in bed; I said we hadn't had sex - I said nothing about anything else.

I actually had the view that I wasn't going to bother with a relationship until I was done with everything that required all aka getting through uni and a job. Then I met my current Girlfriend.
 

Rariow

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Nov 1, 2011
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As someone who's been stuggling with extreme social awkwardness throughout all of my life:

I remember the first time I wanted a relationship, in high school. I didn't pursue it, because of a combination of my near innability to talk with people normally and discovering that one of my closest friends was also pursuing a relationship with the girl in question. I can explain why I wanted to go for this person. Sure, sex had a lot to do with it, but it was mostly that I really did feel something beyond friendship for this person. We got to be pretty good friends, never as close as with my group of 2 or 3 life-long friends, but I genuinely did want to be around her more, and to have a closer relationship than with my buddies.

A relationship is one step beyond friendship, bringing a closeness you simply don't have around friends, and that's the reason why some people want one. Having someone you can trust with anything, who you care about more than any friend.

krazykidd said:
it's so easy to get laid now a days , this is basically a non-issue.
Oh, is it? Some people aren't socially adaptable. I can't just go and pick up a lady from a bar, because I'll just end up being too embarassed to say anything. I can only get to that point with people I feel I know. Some people are simply more social than others, and for those of us who feel uncomfortable chatting with people we don't know it really isn't "so easy to get laid".
 

krazykidd

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Mar 22, 2008
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Sparrow said:
krazykidd said:
Can I ask, and don't take this the wrong way but, how old are you exactly? Because, although I'm not exactly an adult (or at least in my eyes I'm not) the older I've gotten the more sense a relationship has made sense to me. Besides, there's always that "when the right one comes along" thing. Who knows? Maybe you're just not with the right person.
I'm 24 . And no worries , not offended , i'm not 16 after all( where you're just a kid , you'll grow out of it comments would be justified ) . Iv'e been in a few relationships , and am currently in one , with a woman whos 31 . We've been together for 3 years and currently live together . She's an accountant. She's a very sweet, caring lady, although very dependant . I am physically attracted to her , and i like spending time with her ( most of the time ). Neither of us wants children ( something we discussed on our first date ).

She has told me before that , sometimes she feels like we are roomates that sleep together . No idea if that's a good thing or not but whatever . That comment actually lead to the making of this thread . I mean, i came to think why am i in this relationship? And i couldn't find a reason . To clear things up i don't believe in "love" . You know the one from fairytales and movies and books . That's bullshit in my opinion . Yes we spend time together , sleep together , do things together , but that's all things we could do without being in a relationship . Add the fact that we don't want to have a family , and it just makes me wonder , what's the point ?

What are we doing now, that we couldn't do , while not having that "exclusivity" of being in a relationship ? I find relationship to mean " person To whom you are devoted to" rather than anything else . And that's not a good thing .

Maybe my view is just jaded . Maybe i'm too cynical . Maybe relationships are just not for me . But i don't see a point to it all .

Now i have a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend . But she still sees him , spends time with him and sleep with him . But they aren't together . And since then iv'e been trying to find a difference between what she has with her ex-boyfriend , and what i have with my current girlfriend . And all i can come up with is that she has all the benefits of being in a relationship , without all the downsides . They don't argue , because they aren't together so neither has any say in what the other does .
 

krazykidd

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Mar 22, 2008
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HalloHerrNoob said:
Hahahahahaha....okay....no offence, but that sounds really made up:

krazykidd said:
Neither of us wants children ( something we discussed on our first date )
Who the hell talks about children on their first date?



krazykidd said:
Now i have a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend . But she still sees him , spends time with him and sleep with him
Cool story bro

krazykidd said:
You know the one from fairytales and movies and books . That's bullshit in my opinion . Yes we spend time together , sleep together , do things together , but that's all things we could do without being in a relationship .
If you do all the things that define a relationship....than you are in a relationship....
Whats the point? Do you argue about the definition of relationship or what? See also your comment about being physically atracted to her.
Seriousy...if you live together with a woman, sleep together, do shit together than you are in relationship, no matter how you call it.
So wondering why you should have a relationship makes exactly 0.00 sense.
I was asking what the point . Do you know what a point is? Also , who do you think you are , to tell someone that their story is made up? I mean seriously , the gall of some people . Oh well the internet .

Anyways . The question i was asking was what is the point to being in a relaionship because i don't see the point . You know the reasoning? Now if you see a reason or a point to them , like many of the other posters here, i'd love to here it, but if you are here merely to post snarky comments , then you are a waste of time.
 
Feb 22, 2009
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It's just like friendship, you're right, but a much closer friendship, like a friend you feel you can trust with everything.

krazykidd said:
I find this to be a terrible reason , it's so easy to get laid now a days , this is basically a non-issue.
As for this, I wish it was as easy for me as it apparently is for you, man...
 

idon'tknowaboutthat

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Nov 30, 2009
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Spinozaad said:
Because the unhappiness/desperation rubs off on you, people (especially girls and women) can smell it. They see the glister of desperation and false hope in every little cue.

Relationships are fun, it's great to cuddle with someone who loves you. It's amazing to see that look in their eyes when they're happy to see you, etc.

But it's not the single most fun thing in life! Getting drunk/stoned/high off my asses with my friends (NO CHICKS ALLOWED), having coffee with fellow students in the afternoon sun, listening to music, playing an amazing game, etc. are all in their own way just as good.

And really, if you really want a relationship, you have to stop wanting it. Desperation is horribly unattractive.
Thanks for that, however just because my social life is basically non-existent doesn't mean I'm a stereotypical desperate, embarrassing nerd. It's actually quite the opposite, especially when you carry on an act for so long that everyone thinks you're someone you're not. And as for other things making you happy too, I think everyone on a gaming forum would know that. Me, I just have my death metal, that's what keeps me going.

I obviously don't know what it's like, but it must be nice for you to kinda sit on your high horse of relationship experience and tell us how our failures with the opposite sex have marked us as lepers or something for everyone else.
 

Vladimir Stamenov

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Nov 8, 2011
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krazykidd said:
I haven't been in a relationship, but i have been in love. And you apparently are not. The thing is, actual love or affection for someone is exactly that feeling and mental state when all the "bullshit" songs, fairytales and stories start making sense. And apparently you either are really jaded or relationships are just not for you. Stop what you're doing with this woman if you and her don't feel anything. If you can come off as so apathetic while talking about your relationsip you shouldn't be in it. A relationship exists so two people are happy by being with each other. I didn't work out with the girl I liked due to my personality issues and I can honestly say the aftermath hurt like a *****. I cried several times with horrible intensity. But before the impasse occured I just wanted to BE with her, to see her face, smell her and so on. That's what love, or at least one kind of romantic love should be. If you don't get it, you either haven't been in love before or you just can't feel it. Either way, I hope you do find someone who makes you feel that way. I hope I'm not too brash, but that's what I think and it's just the apathy and the fact that you're asking yourself such questions that baffles me.
 

VeneratedWulfen93

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Oct 3, 2011
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HalloHerrNoob said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
HalloHerrNoob said:
VeneratedWulfen93 said:
As for a being a downer.....pretty much sums me up. I spend my days playing LoL, collecting 40k, going to my games design course and going to work.
Lol...so what?
I spend my days playing Smite, going to college and collecting Magic cards and I still have the most wonderfull girlfriend in the world...xD
Thats just an excuse.
Oh thats not the reason I don't have a relationship, there are a number of other reasons. I don't get them, they cost too much money, I prefer my time alone, I know....2 girls in real life and both are taken. I could find more given time. Im happy with what I've got just my lifestyle and outlook can be described as a 'downer'.
Why do relationships cost money? Are you dating a hooker or what?
Birthdays, valentines day, dinners out, dinners in, travel costs. It ain't cheap and neither is the other two expensive habits I have. I simply cannot afford to spend money and time on someone else while I A)Smoke and B) collect plastic miniatures that cost £24 for a box of 5.