Someone tells you they're an alien

Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Probably ask why you are here, apologize for humanity, ask if I can go to their planet.

If anything else just being able to find the secret to space travel or the birth of the universe would be pretty cool. I'm a need to know how things work kind of guy.
 

Carbonyl

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Jun 2, 2011
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Naeras said:
My reaction would be the same as any other bioscientist: to check whether their alien physiology are affected by chloroform the same way we are. Because as we all know, bioscientists totally carry chloroform with them in their back pockets at all times in case of aliens, rapists or tigers that escaped from the zoo.

If it works as it does on us, I'd bring them to one of the labs at my university and take some samples before the person wakes up, and later experiment like all hell on those samples. If the person in question asks what happened when it regains consciousness, I'll tell him that next time, he should be more careful around banana peels, and that I figured that the lab was the best place for him to rest.
If he's an alien: bam, instant Nobel price. And presumably some alien MIBs knocking on my door at some point, but I know karate, and I still have my chloroform, so fuck them. MORE SPECIMENS.
If he's not an alien, then it's a good thing he just tripped on a banana peel.

If chloroform doesn't work, I'll get excited as all hell and ask him about how that works. Hopefully he'll answer, after he's punched me in the face. And then I'll use that knowledge to gain a greater understanding of life, and hopefully to speed up my human extermination virus.
So I'm not the only one who carries around chloroform and specimen bottles? I KNEW IT. I am not alone. Which is consequentially, similar to what one would say to an actual alien; we are not alone. Which would probably come out as more of a question.

But truly, determination of whether or not something is an alien is a problem one does science to. Then, more science is done, because you need statistically significant results. Covert science, of course, I plan to keep my lab book in code and on my person at all times. After alien status is confirmed, I would ask questions faster than I could think of the correct words for them. Mostly, I want to know how the hell they got here, and why they chose this, of all places.
 

Naeras

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Mar 1, 2011
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Carbonyl said:
But truly, determination of whether or not something is an alien is a problem one does science to. Then, more science is done, because you need statistically significant results. Covert science, of course, I plan to keep my lab book in code and on my person at all times. After alien status is confirmed, I would ask questions faster than I could think of the correct words for them. Mostly, I want to know how the hell they got here, and why they chose this, of all places.
I'd imagine they got here because it's the only planet with beer, chocolate and video games about mustached italian plumbers overthrowing the king of fire-breathing tortoise-lizard-hybrids.
 

Moonlight Butterfly

Be the Leaf
Mar 16, 2011
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Unless it was trying to hurt me there would be no fucks to give.

I would be shocked that they looked even vaguely humanoid though.
 

Froggy Slayer

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Jul 13, 2012
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First, I'd need proof.
Then, I'd want to see some fancy alien technology.
Then, I'd get him/her to become my roommate so that we can make my life a wacky sitcom.
 

webkilla

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Feb 2, 2011
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1) request evidence of this
- depending on type of evidence, I might react in different ways
a) if its men in black type 'mainly friendly' aliens who just want to co-exist in secrecy, then I'd be ok
b) vanguard to alien invasion, I would be... less ok, but I doubt they'd tell me
c) freaky weird looking aliens that look more cthuloid than humanoid - I would probably get weirded out, a lot
d) humanoid cat and or shark-people - I would request photographicals of their females in various stages of dress and undress, because

2) question why I am being told about them being aliens

3) wonder if it could benefit from the situation
- such as being given access to neat alien stuff
- maybe I could tag along for a trip to space, always wanted to try being in zero-G
- being a human male, I'd obviously wonder if I could 'do' such an alien...
a) this would be nice if the aliens were of the humanoid cat or shark people
b) this would be bad if the aliens were of the cthuloid or insectoid or similarly weird/freaky looking

So... ya
 

Fasckira

Dice Tart
Oct 22, 2009
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Simply respond, "It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays." while drinking a pint in my dressing gown.