So, played the demo on Switch. Here are my first impressions pretty much as i thought them while playing.
- Ok, you start out by picking a character. Boy or girl. White, black, asian and ... redhead with a deep tan? Ok? Not really sure what the 4th one is supposed to represent.
- Cutscene. Looks nice. I like that the character you picked is actually in the cutscene. Does that mean there's basically 8 versions of this?
- Actual gameplay now. Yeh, rather stark visual downgrade from the cg, but didn't expect that level considering the platform tho. There's better looking platformers on Switch tho. VIsual design is not bad tho. A bit like a mix of Billy Hatcher and Nights, even if a lot of it looks like it wouldn't look out of place on mobile or, fuck it, the gamecube.
- No idea what any of the stuff in this hub is, let's just get into a level and ... holy crap, what the fuck is this run animation? It looks like my legs could be making Sony style figure eights any moment, but why am I so slow? Anyway, level time.
- Ingame cutscene and whoa, framerate is taking a nosedive. That's gotta be 15fps or below. Actual gameplay also doesn't run very well either.
- This doesn't control very well. It feels so stiff and unresponsive. But at same time also too loose and floaty? And why is it so slow? There's no sense of flow or momentum.
- Sure is a lot of pop-in going on here, but for some reason npcs disappear when I get close? Dafuck's up with that? They're all dancing, but with is the dancing animation so bad? Why is all of the animation so bad?
- Music is pretty nice. Not really catchy nod your head stuff, more like relaxing whimsy, but it kind of works.
- Ok, first costume. Now my jump breaks blocks. Ok, is that all? I mean, is that everything I can do? Make a shitty jump that breaks blocks? Ok, maybe you're supposed to use combinations of costumes. We'll see when I get some more.
- Second costume. Now I can do a Yoshi style flutter jump. Ok, that's a better jump. Can't break blocks tho. How long does it take to switch? Ouch, 1-2 seconds? Ooof, that's not gonna become annoying at all, no siree.
- First enemy encounter. Framerate drops to single digits while they load in. Hope that won't that happen every time? (pssst, the answer is yes, pretty much)
- Oh hey, it's Balan and ... dafuck why am I suddenly doing a shitty quicktime event? What the fuck am I even doing? Is that a burning cob of corn? Why am I kicking it? Ok, I launched Balan through a crystal energy thing? Just what? Oh, that was some kind of bonus level for extra gems? That was jarring.
- Come to think of it, what are those gems even for? Are they a like coins or rings? Do I get extra lives if I collect enough of them? What do the different colors mean?
- Ok, some kind of weird crystal energy plant thing? Those puffball chao clones that have been following me around the level are doing something to it? Ah, I see, that's the end goal.
- Back to the hub, it seems. It's telling me to toss the gems I collected into flower fields. Ok, cool, now the puffballs are eating the gems. Is that supposed to happen? I have no idea what I'm doing. Game tells me to do stuff, but now what the purpose of that stuff is. Or did I miss that somehow? I have no idea.
- There's also this hamster wheel with a counter next to it. I can put a puffball in it, and it'll start turning, making the counter go up. I also have a subobjective to teach 30 and it'll make part of a tower o' tims appear? Is the hamster wheel how I reach that 30? I hope not, cuz this is slow as molasses.
- Whatever, next level. New costume and ... oh ... this is just straight up that onion with extendible legs from Mario Odyssey. But shitty. Nother new costume. A little dragon with a shortranged fireball attack. Neat. Oh wait, I can't jump anymore. Nother new costume. A pig that can buttstomp. And yeah, seems like every costume really does exactly one thing.
- What is that weird warping effect in the geometry, like the level is on the inside on a sphere, but it flattens out as you get closer? It's kind of neat, but why does it only seem to do that some of the time?
- Second level done and ... guess we're going straight into a boss fight. And it's over already. That was easy. I think? I mean, half the time I had no idea whether or not I was doing the right thing, but I guess I was. Whatever, back to the hub.
- Ok, for real now? What am I supposed to do in this game? Go for the end goal? Is it a collectathon? Both? What does the tower o' tims do? I'm normally someone who gets annoyed when a game spends too much time tutorialising and explaining itself, but this doesn't really explain itself well at all. Maybe if instead of dancing around those ncps you can turn into did whatever power their costume grants you? I'm done tho, I I've seen enough.
As you might have guessed, there's not much positive in there.
Balan Wonderworld is slow and clunky to play. It runs poorly and looks bad from a technical standpoint. It feels antiquated, like a platformer from the PS1/N64 era, but not in a good way. There's comparisons to Dreamcast era Sonic Team in here, but those games are honestly better than this. But above all, it is just not fun to play. It is boring. Capital b Boring.
You want my recommendation, for whatever that is worth? Don't bother. Just don't bother.
At the very least not with the Switch version, but I don't think the PS5 version will be much better aside from hopefully looking and running better. There are way better options out there for 3d platformers.
Mario Odyssey or
3D All-Stars obviously. If you don't have a Switch, perhaps opt for
Crash N'Sane or
Spyro Reignited. Something new you haven't tried?
A Hat in Time if you want a collectathon or
Spark the Electric Jester 2 if you want something Sonic Adventure-like. On my honor, I guarantee you those are way better games than
Balan Wonderworld.