Stolen Pixels #19: Assassin's Greed

[Shamus Young]

Stolen Pixels #19: Assassin's Greed

It's easy to see how The Umbrella Corporation planned on turning a buck, but one must wonder at the company in Assassin's Creed's plan for financial success.

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[Eagle Est1986]

I thought they did explain it..... they invented everything ever, that's a pretty good way to make money if you ask me!
Good comic Shamus, new game on Thursday/Friday?

 

[Aries_Split]

XD
I loled at the stock part.

 

[pseudoidiot]

Phase 1: Kidnap assassin.
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

I thought they did explain it..... they invented everything ever, that's a pretty good way to make money if you ask me!
Good comic Shamus, new game on Thursday/Friday?

So they do make breakfast cereals.

Phase 1: Kidnap assassin.
Phase 2: Put in VR machine.
Phase 3: ???
Phase 4: Profit!

Forgot one.

 

[Shamus Young]

I think my portfolio is a little too Kidnapped VR Assassin-heavy.

I really need to diversify. I'm thinking of picking up something in the zombie plague or rogue AI market.

 

[shMerker]

I think you should consider buying some stock in underpants collection.

Yeah, I think there is a basic explanation for where Abstergo came from and what they're doing buried late in the game. Something about inventing awesome technologies you take for granted and inheriting tons of cash from the Knights Templars. At no time is it ever suggested that VR Assassins are somehow their main source of profit. Towards the end though they do indicate that the company also poisons water supplies and engages in other unprofitable evil activities.

I also think it's pretty great how they're using the VR to search for the whereabouts of artifacts 700 years ago. So if in the ensuing centuries anything has happened to these items the information is worthless.

 

[gigastrike]

Spoiler

1: kidnap assassin
2: make assassin relive key moment in past so that they can find a map that shows the locations of artifacts capable of controlling the minds of eveyone on the planet
3: aquire artifacts
4: create a shallow utopia where people don't have free will, but also don't fight each other
5: don't make any money, but feel content that they saved the world

Still very funny.

 

[Grampy_bone]

Yeah actually Assassin's Creed is a subversion of the usual "EvilCorp Inc." They explain how Abstergo makes their money exactly and how they plan on using Desmond to further their goals. So you're wrong.

 

[NeedAUserName]

Maybe if that Piece of Eden,(I think thats the name) can change what you see, they would have a car boot sale but make everything look like PS3s, Xbox 360, Wiis, etc.

Or maybe they didn't use money and just made an illusion of it.

 

[Shamus Young]

Yeah actually Assassin's Creed is a subversion of the usual "EvilCorp Inc." They explain how Abstergo makes their money exactly and how they plan on using Desmond to further their goals. So you're wrong.

Congratulations on outsmarting a joke. May your cleverness keep you forever safe from the ravages of laughter.

 

[Aries_Split]

Yeah actually Assassin's Creed is a subversion of the usual "EvilCorp Inc." They explain how Abstergo makes their money exactly and how they plan on using Desmond to further their goals. So you're wrong.

Congratulations on outsmarting a joke. May your cleverness keep you forever safe from the ravages of laughter.

Owned.

 

[wewontdie11]

Yeah actually Assassin's Creed is a subversion of the usual "EvilCorp Inc." They explain how Abstergo makes their money exactly and how they plan on using Desmond to further their goals. So you're wrong.

Congratulations on outsmarting a joke. May your cleverness keep you forever safe from the ravages of laughter.

I lol'd

Nice comic though, good work.

 

[Alex_P]

"How would Desmond feel if he found he'd been kidnapped by a company famous for on-the-go snacks and breakfast cereals?"

Desmond would probably respond with a mix of emotionless compliance and resigned obedience. You know, like he always does.

-- Alex

 

[vede]

Wow, Shamus. I'm really sorry to say this about the comic, but what happened to your grammar here? In the first two cells, you have "kidnaped" (which is technically correct, I think, but rare and you disagree with yourself on the spelling in a later post). Then there's the disagreement of tense between main-character's first and second cells (which is slightly understandable, but still frustrating). Then there's an oddly placed comma in the last speech bubble of the second cell.

Still a great comic, though. One of the best in SP, I think.

 

[Lt. Sera]

Yeah actually Assassin's Creed is a subversion of the usual "EvilCorp Inc." They explain how Abstergo makes their money exactly and how they plan on using Desmond to further their goals. So you're wrong.

If you just let out the "So you're wrong" part, you would have been spared of an owning

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

While I agree with everyone that we should get some more games that need a good satire, I'm also one of those "Rehashes are ok as long as they keep bringing back more of the good" kind of people, so for what it's worth - I don't care if the majority is gonna be AC and WoW.

 

[IanPrice]

How would Desmond feel if he found he'd been kidnapped by a company famous for on-the-go snacks and breakfast cereals?

He'd feel like he was playing Shadowrun.

 

[Brett Alex]

Call me behind times, but I just finished Assassin's Creed, like literally 10 minutes ago.
Anyway two thumbs on the comic.

XD
I loled at the stock part.

Yeah same lol.