Yeesh. There's direct, and then there's... well... a little hateful.Lara Crigger said:Love FAQ: Stop Camping Your Girlfriend for Sex
If he'd rather game than talk, there might be a problem.
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THe nice guys she is refering to are the guys that aren't nice because that's their personality, they are nice because they believe that being nice is all they need to do to get girls to sleep with them.Sandytimeman said:I think the writer is being a bit hard on "nice guys" I used to be one of those. I just didn't have any experience or confidence for awhile. After awhile I found the confidence to be more direct and didn't have to be anyone's friend. But still I was a "nice guy" and I wasn't a dick >.< just took me a bit to build up the courage to ask someone out is all.
Her job isn't to search for information, it's to give her advice one the situation given the information (of which she does not share all of it with us) that is included in the emails.Labcoat Samurai said:A word of advice to the author: Not everything is exactly as it appears, and I think it would behoove you to show a bit of restraint in your judgment and gender stereotype pigeonholing. It's not easy being a naive young man in love with a girl who doesn't feel the same way. Try being more gentle when you let him down.
And regarding the second question, not every woman who feels she isn't getting enough attention deserves the equivalent of "you go girl! drop that zero and get yourself a hero". Relationships involve compromise, and this seems like a young couple who might not be well practiced at that yet. Maybe he's a great guy and they could come to some understanding without her confronting him and delivering an ultimatum. Honestly, "Spend more time with me!" pretty much always makes a person want to do the opposite. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Imagine that your boyfriend is disappointed in the attention he gets, so he writes in to an advice column. The advice essentially amounts to "Confront her. Demand more attention, because you deserve it, and if she isn't willing to give it, dump her."
How would you feel if your boyfriend then followed that advice? I could be off base, but I have the sense there'd be a big dose of resentment all around, and *someone* would do the dumping. You can't make a relationship work if you put your needs ahead of your partner's. It's quite possible that that's exactly what he's doing. But it's also possible that we're not getting the whole story, or that we're getting a biased version, and you counseled her to put her needs ahead of his.
Ha! Your avatar made me laugh.Lara Crigger said:snip
This isn't where I parked my car!DVS BSTrD said:First guy: think less You've Got Mail and more Euro Trip.
You hit the nail on the head, my only problem with this advice column is the seeming perpetuation of the "friend zone", but I'm willing to overlook it because the rest of the advice is good.Alexnader said:#3
True he does need to move on but harsh much? I mean I didn't get much of a "nice guy" vibe from his letter, he had a friend who he started feeling attracted to. Not "he liked this girl but couldn't ask her out so he became friends with her".
I've heard a couple of people claim that attraction can grow with familiarity, if they're in any way correct then I think Lara was too harsh on this one.