Struggling

[Tidd]

Is it wrong and selfish to grieve?? Shouldn't I be happy that they're gone and possibly not hurting? That they don't have to deal with the world, depression, financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, emotionally, struggling??

Missing and grieving feels narcissistic and selfish. It feels all about me instead of them.

 

[davidmc1158]

Grief is not something that follows the rules of logic. We grieve those we have lost because they are gone from our lives.

It can feel selfish, but it really is just a matter of being human. I can tell you from experience, the sense of loss stays with you for quite a while, but it does fade with time. It gradually gets replaced with the memories of the good times you and they once had together. The pangs of loss never go away entirely (at least they haven't for me in the last 25 years), but they do become pangs that hit you once in a while, every so often.

It is not selfish to grieve. That really what funerals are for: giving the living a chance to constructively channel their grief and share strength with one another so that the grief isn't overwhelming.

Grieve for the one you have lost, but always remember to celebrate who they were as well.