Stuff you've done in Skyrim that you wouldn't do in real life

[nokori3byo]

I had this thought last night as I was poking through a giant spider's guts for some frostbite poison or something like that. I might be game-OCD enough to do this is an open world RPG, but in real life...

Other things that come to mind:

1. Marrying a lycanthrope: It doesn't matter how hot she is, this one would be sure to bite you in the ass at some point. And as far as monthly mood swings go...think about it.

2. Going through any door labeled "Inner Sanctum." "Lair," maybe, "Sanctum," no.

3. Traversing large patches of countryside in a low crouch: would kill my knees.

4. Eating alchemical ingredients to test their properties. I was once the victim of an eighth grade science class prank wherein I was duped into scoffing down a handful of one of the earth's bitterest known substances. Never. Again.

5. Giving change to beggars: I haven't done this since the early 90s.

6. Taking sides in a civil war: Civil wars are like dinner theatre: being a spectator is bad enough.

7. Sleeping in random bedrolls: Think of the ticks. Gah!

8. Stripping and posing decapitated corpses then casting magelight to illuminate them for a photo.

9. Waiting for 8 hours outside a shop door: Still feeling burned after the "Use Your Illusion" release 19 years ago.

10. Carrying hot stew in my pocket.

 

[Alex Tom]

I cant say for others but i have never opened a continent in real life. Maybe a DOOR to a continent but never the continent itself

 

[Coyote Tsiyete]

I would do 1 (maybe) and 5 (probably).
The most dangerous, however, is definitely 10.

 

[EHKOS]

*waits for Raj the Kahjiit*

Buying potions that are supposed to heal you.
Teaming up with a bird woman.
Killing people for money.


The list really does go on it seems.

 

[nokori3byo]

I would do 1 (maybe)

Yeah, I find it kind of perversely poetic that I was allowed to domesticate a bonafide beast, but I just don't sleep peacefully in that bed anymore. Could it be that HER beast blood is keeping me up...?

 

[CulixCupric]

I had this thought last night as I was poking through a giant spider's guts for some frostbite poison or something like that. I might be game-OCD enough to do this is an open world RPG, but in real life...

Other things that come to mind:

1. Marrying a lycanthrope: It doesn't matter how hot she is, this one would be sure to bite you in the ass at some point. And as far as monthly mood swings go...think about it.

I would marry a lycan if i loved her.

2. Going through any door labeled "Inner Sanctum." "Lair," maybe, "Sanctum," no.

That would be the label on my door.

3. Traversing large patches of countryside in a low crouch: would kill my knees.

yeah, ouch. i agree.

4. Eating alchemical ingredients to test their properties. I was once the victim of an eighth grade science class prank wherein I was duped into scoffing down a handful of one of the earth's bitterest known substances. Never. Again.

i now am thinking of the poison root from the dark brotherhood. try that with this thing, you die.

5. Giving change to beggars: I haven't done this since the early 90s.

i have done this, in bills, and i'm a misanthrope. one reason is no one else helps each other.

6. Taking sides in a civil war: Civil wars are like dinner theatre: being a spectator is bad enough.

um.. so, how many countries have been drastically changed by civil war.

7. Sleeping in random bedrolls: Think of the ticks. Gah!

good point

8. Stripping and posing decapitated corpses then casting magelight to illuminate them for a photo.

wha?

9. Waiting for 8 hours outside a shop door: Still feeling burned after the "Use Your Illusion" release 19 years ago.

i'd maybe wait 4 hours, if it was worth it.

10. Carrying hot stew in my pocket.

ouch.

ok, mine are: becoming a vampire, attacking people, stealing, being dragonborn, fighting a dragon, fighting a troll, being a female, eating a mammoth snout, finding nirnroot, eating a falmer ear, biting someones neck to feed as a vampire, have a suit of dragon-scale armor, transform into a wolf infront of an entire town i own a home in, etc.

 

[nokori3byo]

5. Giving change to beggars: I haven't done this since the early 90s.

i have done this, in bills, and i'm a misanthrope. one reason is no one else helps each other.
[/quote]

Fair play to you.

 

[CulixCupric]

5. Giving change to beggars: I haven't done this since the early 90s.

i have done this, in bills, and i'm a misanthrope. one reason is no one else helps each other.

Fair play to you.

yeah, i dislike humanity, but i try to be an example of what it should be, so that it might improve, although, being a misanthrope, i doubt it will happen.

 

[ArbiterX13]

Where do I start...?
1. Killing a dragon.
2. Waging a secret war on a pack of werewolf hunters for reasons I don't fully understand.
3. "This could kill you." My response: "Yeah, let's do it!"
4. Murdering a guy who saved my life and wanted to free a town of evil because a demon told me to.
5. Getting involved in a war between two demons.
6. Attending a truce negotiation, seeing as I'm not actually that important.

Spoiler: 7-11 (Dark Brotherhood and Thieves Guild-related)

7. Murdering a queen.
8. Murdering an emperor's double.
9. Murdering an emperor.
10. Hunting down a traitor after getting shot with a poison arrow and then stabbed in the stomach.
11. Selling my immortal soul to the goddess of night. Well, actually...

12. Exploring numerous ruins filled with blind savages, giant poisonous bugs, and machines that are sometimes about 3 times my size.
13. Stealing extremely cumbersome weapons from people's houses.
14. Stealing clothing from other people's houses.
15. Taking clothing from dead bodies.

Spoiler: 16 and 17

16. Breaking the tribal chief of the largest bandit group in Skyrim out of prison, even after he told me point-blank that his bandit "brothers and sisters" would still attempt to kill me on sight.
17. Capturing a dragon.

18. Seeing if I'd live after falling 300 feet into a river.
19. Killing a blacksmith because he didn't carry what I wanted him to carry.
20. Pretending to be a medieval Indiana Jones.
21. Forging armor and weapons from the depths of hell.
22. Forging armor from the bones of a mythological creature.
23. Using a horse that came out of a black pool of water to climb a mountain.
24. Killing my housecarl with a blast of fire on accident.
25. Walking into an old ruin knowing full well that many of the dead things in there were still moving.
26. Angering the most influential family in the province.
27. Harvesting various kinds of blood.
28. Doing everyone's errands, many of which involve traversing decidedly hostile territory.
29. Getting into the Companions (not for lack of trying).
30. Deciding to test just how hot the embers are in the Skyforge.
31. Posing as an assassin.
32. Being an assassin.
33. Contracting Wilbane, or whatever that one disease is.
34. Killing the owner of a shop to get my money back.
35. Insulting someone with a battleaxe.
36. Getting into a fistfight with someone wearing steel plate armor.
37. Retrieving a weapon I know for a fact to corrupt the minds of mortals.
38. Being able to carry 360 pounds of stuff just on my person ( especially with a set of armor and one weapon showing at a time).
39. Walking around a freezing area wearing what essentially is a tank top and a kilt.
40. Placing glass weapons at a higher value than steel ones.
41. Using my voice to attempt to hurt someone.
42. Purposefully angering a troll.
43. Venturing into one of the known locations of an undead priest with an ancient mask that supposedly grants them unimaginable power.
44. Deciding that shooting a bear with an arrow is a better idea than sneaking around said bear.
45. Killing a mammoth for its tusk (firstly because it's illegal, secondly because they're extinct, and finally because it's just really hard to do).
46. Trapping someone's soul in a crystal, then using it to bestow power on an item.
47. Joining a college devoted to magic when I have to aptitude in magic at all.
48. Harvesting the blood of several different humanoid races.
49. Staying up for days on end.
50. Surviving Helgen.

 

[Gorog2]

1. Drink werewolf blood
2. Shout and knock everything of a table on to the floor.
3. Set my hands on fire to here people say "Be careful with those flames.
4. Wait in one place longer than 6 hours.
5. Breath fire.
6. Absorb a soul.
7. Pick a fight with someone 7 times my height.
8. Run away from said person using vocal tactics.
9. Run every where I go.
10. Head toward a big lizard type creature.
This is just the start of my list.

 

[nokori3byo]

The whole damn list...

...brought the funny. Kudos to you, sir.

 

[Montezuma's Lawyer]

I had this thought last night as I was poking through a giant spider's guts for some frostbite poison or something like that. I might be game-OCD enough to do this is an open world RPG, but in real life...

Other things that come to mind:

1. Marrying a lycanthrope: It doesn't matter how hot she is, this one would be sure to bite you in the ass at some point. And as far as monthly mood swings go...think about it.

2. Going through any door labeled "Inner Sanctum." "Lair," maybe, "Sanctum," no.

3. Traversing large patches of countryside in a low crouch: would kill my knees.

4. Eating alchemical ingredients to test their properties. I was once the victim of an eighth grade science class prank wherein I was duped into scoffing down a handful of one of the earth's bitterest known substances. Never. Again.

5. Giving change to beggars: I haven't done this since the early 90s.

6. Taking sides in a civil war: Civil wars are like dinner theatre: being a spectator is bad enough.

7. Sleeping in random bedrolls: Think of the ticks. Gah!

8. Stripping and posing decapitated corpses then casting magelight to illuminate them for a photo.

9. Waiting for 8 hours outside a shop door: Still feeling burned after the "Use Your Illusion" release 19 years ago.

10. Carrying hot stew in my pocket.

I think Killing People should be pretty high up on that list.

 

[loudestmute]

1. Be a competent archer (I've got all the depth perception of a one eyed dog)
2. Dropping all interest in a life and death struggle the moment a dead body is available to loot
3. Place a wager on myself before entering a fistfight with a racist
4. Throw an enormous sum of money into the purchase of an item, intent on breaking it to determine how it used to work
5. Murder a woman for the simple reason that, despite being sworn to follow my every command, she can't understand a concept as simple as "get out of my house"
6. Wear gaudy face paint in the presence of important government officials to ask for their forgiveness
7. Continue a cordial relationship with someone after throwing a bucket on their head and taking everything that wasn't bolted down
8. Learning to shoot fireballs before learning to turn invisible
9. Knocking back ten beers in under a minute, enabling the theft of a mammoth tusk
10. Breaking into a child's home to exploit his hopes and dreams for personal gain.
11. Beating gun-toting Mexican wrestlers with a giant purple...oh crap, wrong game.

 

[khy]

How about just getting married?

 

[Peteron]

I would rather have hot stew in my pocket than fight a dragon...

 

[IamLEAM1983]

1. Killing people. I'm a fucking pansy, I wouldn't kill anyone to save my life;
2. Magic. When's the last time you heard about David Blaine setting random people on fire? With his palms?
3. Using healing magic. Boy, I'd sure love that. "Hey, Dad! You've got Hodgkin's Lymphoma? Meh, that's small fry, just cast Fast Healing and drink this Potion of Cure Disease!";
4. Doing (a) god's will. A disembodied voice tells me to do shit, I'm booking a session with a shrink ASAP;
5. Drinking a random brew offered to me by a total stranger. The consequences were kinda-sorta light in Skyrim, and I got a cool staff for it. In real life? Uh, I'd either end up in a sequel to The Hangover, or just not wake up at all;
6. Shooting a bow. Not only that, but holding an arrow notched for five minutes. Five. My arms would be dead by that point;
7. Follow a talking dog. See number 5 for extra details. Me, shrink's office, peelz. NAO;
8. Become the leader of three institutions at once. I just have a BA in Literature! I'M NOT FUCKING QUALIFIED! DON'T PROMOTE ME, KARLIAH, YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE! Noooo!
9. Talk to five different guys in five minutes who all had the same voice. Once more, shrink, pills, commitment, Arkham Asylum, etc.
10. Heft a broadsword. Hellooo, lumbago!

Oh, and...

11. Carry 320 pounds of equipment... but one flower added to the mix makes me drop nearly dead. I can heft the equivalent of my Morals teacher from high school without breaking a sweat, but add a dried flower and I'm done.

Honestly. I can barely carry four large books, my netbook, my agenda, cell phone and leather case - which doesn't amount to more than, what, 15 pounds? - without panting like a dying horse.

Spastic dysplasia for the win!

 

[nokori3byo]

I think Killing People should be pretty high up on that list.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe if they were threatening my life.



(...or had something that I really wanted)

 

[Smeggs]

Anything besides sleeping, eating, and general living.

Basically anything I have done with a sword or magic.

so pretty much everything in the game that isn't general living.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

The one thing where you beat the shit out of the guy for the mace.

I kinda just looked at him then was like "fuck that, I'm not an evil character" and walked out. I'm assuming there's a way to not beat him up, so I'll see if I chance that.

 

[Techsmart07]

Sadly, there are many people who would do #9. At the store that did our Skyrim release, the first person in line had been waiting in front of the store for almost a week... (And I thought I had too much time on my hand).
Things I would never do by my character would...
1 I probably would not have joined the companions. I dunno, being a werewolf just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention that whole afterlife thing.
2 Drink 10 large bottles of liquid almost instantaneously.
3 Engage in any kind of combat with someone holding a weapon, or a creature at least 3/4 of my size.
4 Pick up bees, dragonflies, and other insects from the air and stick them in a bag for use in performing alchemy.
5Change my outfit in the middle of the street (complete change, not just swap shirts or something).
6 Try to fit 500 pounds of dragonbone and other heavy objects inside of a dresser drawer.
7 Walk directly into a room that is obviously belonging to the biggest, baddest, scariest person in the dungeon. I got explosives for that room (I'm sure I could dig out the remaining rubble,
Address 90% of my problems with as many fireballs I can throw at it (the other 10% get a chain lightning or blizzard).