I watched Dragon Wars yesterday, a movie so hilariously bad and full of terrible cliches that it´s actually funny. Fortunately I knew it was going to be this way.
So let´s talk about stupid cliches in movies! I will start with those featured in Dragon Wars. Obviously this will contain some spoilers, so watch out.
The protagonist asking his friends to do crazy things, because!!!, and they don´t even ask. Like in Dragon Wars the protagonist asks his african-american buddy to "search our computer database for a girl named Sarah with a tattoo!" So that´s what his buddy does. They work for the press, so thats completely plausible, right?
The wise old asian guy who just informs our hero about his mission, and then continues to appear every time the hero is in danger, saving him, because he can teleport, you know? He is also a shapeshifter and appears as another person sometimes, for absolutely no reason.
Just kill him: Our hero has managed to knock out the bad guy. He has a gun in his hands, the bad guy lies before him, but our hero decides to run away instead of emptying the gun into that guys face. So of course bad guy will rise again.
In D-Wars, it´s the other way around. So that giant dragon snake has waited five hundred years until some asian legend chick was reborn (fortunately in Los Angeles), so he could eat her and thus ascend to godhood. (That´s the actual story). Several tiumes throughout the movie, he is just one second away from getting her, but he fucks up:
They enter a car? I´d better stop chasing them.
Some cops shoot at me, a half-god-dragon-snake, with their handguns, although it was stated earlier in the movie that my skin is harder than diamond? Now that totally distracts me and allows them to escape, again.
In just another scene, our heroes are attacked by evil magical dark knight guy who is somehow in the movie. They struggle several minutes, dark knight even has a magic sword, but noone gets hurt, except the dark knight who is run over by a car that appears out of nowhere (Guess who´s driving? Correct, wise old asian guy). Later in the movie evil dark knight kills an entire US Army squad in a second by casting lvl200 Immolation on them.
Every bar scene in every movie starts with a pool table and the characteristic klack-klack sound, then the camera swings over to the protagonist sitting at the bar.
Do I even have to mention fake forced love stories? Right in the middle of Dragon Wars, between fighting a dark knight and escaping from a giant dragon snake, the male and female heroes who have known each other for two days suddenly stand at the beach while the sun rises and start kissing.
Those scenes in which the bad guy points a gun at our hero, then BANG! But it was just a third person shooting bad guy from behind, making him fall to the ground like a paralyzed tree.
Finally, though this one is necessary for certain movies, the willingness of people to accept how some supernatural magic monster is attempting to destroy civilization as they know it. The protagonists african-american buddy is chased by a giant dragon snake and nearly killed by a dark knight with a magic sword in the same night, but two days later he is shown at work sitting in the office with nothing more than a bandage on his head.
Hell, this somehow became a wall of text. Hopefully there is still something left for you to write about...
So let´s talk about stupid cliches in movies! I will start with those featured in Dragon Wars. Obviously this will contain some spoilers, so watch out.
The protagonist asking his friends to do crazy things, because!!!, and they don´t even ask. Like in Dragon Wars the protagonist asks his african-american buddy to "search our computer database for a girl named Sarah with a tattoo!" So that´s what his buddy does. They work for the press, so thats completely plausible, right?
The wise old asian guy who just informs our hero about his mission, and then continues to appear every time the hero is in danger, saving him, because he can teleport, you know? He is also a shapeshifter and appears as another person sometimes, for absolutely no reason.
Just kill him: Our hero has managed to knock out the bad guy. He has a gun in his hands, the bad guy lies before him, but our hero decides to run away instead of emptying the gun into that guys face. So of course bad guy will rise again.
In D-Wars, it´s the other way around. So that giant dragon snake has waited five hundred years until some asian legend chick was reborn (fortunately in Los Angeles), so he could eat her and thus ascend to godhood. (That´s the actual story). Several tiumes throughout the movie, he is just one second away from getting her, but he fucks up:
They enter a car? I´d better stop chasing them.
Some cops shoot at me, a half-god-dragon-snake, with their handguns, although it was stated earlier in the movie that my skin is harder than diamond? Now that totally distracts me and allows them to escape, again.
In just another scene, our heroes are attacked by evil magical dark knight guy who is somehow in the movie. They struggle several minutes, dark knight even has a magic sword, but noone gets hurt, except the dark knight who is run over by a car that appears out of nowhere (Guess who´s driving? Correct, wise old asian guy). Later in the movie evil dark knight kills an entire US Army squad in a second by casting lvl200 Immolation on them.
Every bar scene in every movie starts with a pool table and the characteristic klack-klack sound, then the camera swings over to the protagonist sitting at the bar.
Do I even have to mention fake forced love stories? Right in the middle of Dragon Wars, between fighting a dark knight and escaping from a giant dragon snake, the male and female heroes who have known each other for two days suddenly stand at the beach while the sun rises and start kissing.
Those scenes in which the bad guy points a gun at our hero, then BANG! But it was just a third person shooting bad guy from behind, making him fall to the ground like a paralyzed tree.
Finally, though this one is necessary for certain movies, the willingness of people to accept how some supernatural magic monster is attempting to destroy civilization as they know it. The protagonists african-american buddy is chased by a giant dragon snake and nearly killed by a dark knight with a magic sword in the same night, but two days later he is shown at work sitting in the office with nothing more than a bandage on his head.
Hell, this somehow became a wall of text. Hopefully there is still something left for you to write about...
