Stupid questions about yourself people always ask you.

[Battenberg]

I studied psychology at university and apparently the discovery of this information can ONLY be met with one of the following two questions:

1) "So you can read minds and/ or body language?"
2) "So you could give me therapy?" Usually followed up (before I have a chance to say a single word) with a totally hilarious joke about how they are probably the craziest person ever and I'd have a field day with their mind. Wasn't funny the first time, still not funny 50 times down the line and yet every one of them bursts into manic laughter after saying this.


Also telling people I'm vegetarian has resulted in the same single word coming up in every single person's response - "why?".

I gave a full explanation at first but after a dozen or so people glazing over while I was mid sentence I switched to "none of your business". Apparently that's rude so I've adjusted it to "oh you know, moral stuff" which is apparently the quickest and easiest way to end that conversation without making a mortal enemy.

 

[Vault101]

disclaimer: I don't like to chide people for "stupid" questions, I think most questions are valid but anyway

[I/]"whats it like being a twin?[/I]

its uh....its not really like anything, I mean hell we aren't even identical

I'm a twin. I often say "Oh, I have a twin sister" when people ask me about siblings.
More than a few times, they've then asked me if we're identical.
I'm a guy, btw. Wow.

heh...sometimes I get "who's older" and/or "who was born first"....I never got why this is important

Well standard response are: No I don't have boyfriend because I don't particularly want one and don't know anyone I want to date. I'm just not that into relationships. No I don't want kids. No I'm not a lesbian. Yes I'm sure I'm not a lesbian, I've already told you why I don't have a boyfriend. Also "boyish" hobbies =/= lesbian. It use to be "no I'm not a lesbian and that girl is my cousin and a friend. I walk home with her because she lives one street over." Is it not normal to walk home with people you are friends with? It not like either of us where touchy feely, we didn't hug or hold hands.I don't know why people are so interested in other peoples relationships.
.

I'm actually kind of surprised no ones asked me if I'm a lesbian....probably because I don't look "the part" and if my sisters/mum suspects anything (which for some reason I doubt) then they keep it to themselves...its weird though because if I were them I'd suspect it

EDIT: or maybe they just put it down to me being a recluse

 

[Tony2077]

I'm a twin. I often say "Oh, I have a twin sister" when people ask me about siblings.
More than a few times, they've then asked me if we're identical.
I'm a guy, btw. Wow.

well there are two different types of twins

 

[Zontar]

"Do you speak French?"

No, I only have a French last name and live in a province where not knowing French is nearly impossibly to get by with for day-to-day life.

I also get asked a lot where I'm from because of my accent, but that doesn't bother me as much since anyone who learns proper French gets asked this. Gets points for irrony if the person asking is also someone who claims they want to 'defend the French language', when Francophones are the ones who are doing more to butcher and Anglonize it then we Anglos are.

 

[Something Amyss]

I also get the "Are you alright?" and "Why are you so angry?" I'm not angry. I'm fine. I just have resting ***** face.

I hate those so much. Worse, people assume I'm in a bad mood, and then they badger me (lousy Hufflepuffs), and then I'm in a bad mood, and they're all "see?"

I wasn't in a bad mood until you caused it with your prodding!

 

[twistedmic]

OT: The dumbest one I find is when people read my last name (one of those real obvious O apostrophe ones) on a form or something then ask if it's irish... No it's chinese. My family immigrated from Manchuria when I was younger xD

To be fair, the O'____ surnames can be either Scottish or Irish.

I have been asked "Do you work here?" while I was in dress code, wearing a name badge/apron/vest and stocking freight or pulling carts/pallets (i.e. clear indicators that I work there) quite often.

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

I can't tell you how many people see me writing and still ask, "OMG, are you left-handed?"

Or the ever-popular "How's the weather up there?" when I stand up. Durrr, yup, I'm tall. Any more brilliant observations?

"How much longer does your hair need to be?" It's almost down to my belly button, is that strange? Hell, my mom's hair was down to her ankles when she cut it.

Speaking of...

"Why do you have long hair if you're into women?" *facepalm*

 

[Kae]

Have you killed someone? or Do you like Killing people?

Geeze people, I get it I have a scar on my eye and I generally look like badass but really?
I normally get really pissed off when they ask this and answer with, "Only if they ask too many questions" while doing my best Clint Eastwood impersonation, they normally stop after that, but it's ridiculous that people keep asking me this.

I swear you need to post in a photo thread with all the stories you have of people asking you these things...

Actually I've been a bit tempted to do it but I've never uploaded a picture of me to the Internet and I can't be found by googling my name and in this day and age that's a bit rare, so I don't know if I want to change it, I mean I don't particularly care but it took quite a bit of work when I was a teenager so I don't know if I want to throw in the trash all that hard work of my younger more paranoid self.

 

[Vault101]

"Why do you have long hair if you're into women?" *facepalm*

is that better or worse than "if they look like guys why not just date a guy?"

 

[soren7550]

"Aren't you a boy?" Mostly asked when people hear my voice, but also occasionally when I'm seen. This one just makes me really depressed/irritated/angry. Normally, I kinda sound like a twelve year old boy, but I sometimes try to talk in a higher pitch. Seeing as I largely hate talking, I don't do that too much. The appearance thing, I can't really help since I don't eat too much, I'm poor, and I'm most comfortable in jeans and a loose hoodie.

"Hey, are you open?/Can I but something?" I'm always asked this at work, and it pisses me off to no end, since I'm the after hours cleaning lady. Closed sign will be up, chairs are all folded & moved to the side, cleaning crap is about and being used, the grating is sometimes closed, almost everything else in the neighborhood is closed/doing after work cleaning, but there's always at least one dumbass that in their delusional world, these are all indicators that the store is open for business.

"You don't drink/smoke/discriminate based on race, creed, religion, etc./other hillbilly, redneck, and white trash things? What kind of [surname] are you?" Mostly said by my oldest brother (I talk very little to not at all with the rest of my family), I've never really done any of those things, which I'm reasonably certain why most of my family hates me and has done various abuses towards me. You'd think that after 22 years of not doing those things and trying to distance myself from the family, they'd get it.

"Hey, where's [thing that the location of should be obvious]?" This one is aimed at my boyfriend, and you'd think that after three years he'd know where I put various things. I love him to bit and bits, but he can be a bit of a Bidoof.

There's a number of others that I was asked a lot, but they've largely stopped since I'm no longer in the sort of situations where I'm asked them (either because I no longer have the job, or no longer really have to go out and deal with people).

 

[JagermanXcell]

When people wonder about my nationality. I tell them I'm Hispanic, and then have the urge to murder them since this about how 90% of my conversations on that subject goes:
"Woah, you're really Hispanic?"
"Yup."
"Why do you talk, act, and look a white person and where's your accent? Can you speak Spanish?!"
"......... No I don't speak Spanish."
*then they remark how I'm not worthy of being Hispanic because i'm None of the Above*

What I really want to say: "SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LISTEN!!! MY PARENTS WERE BORN IN MEXICO, THEY CAME HERE, THEY DIDN'T TEACH ME ANY SPANISH, MORON. I LIVED WITH MY MOM FOR MOST OF MY LIFE WHO GOT RID OF HER ACCENT AND PASSED HER LINGO ON TO ME, ASS WIPE. I'M A LITTLE PALE BECAUSE I DON'T GO OUT OFTEN, YOU DICK. AND NEWS FLASH, MOST OF FAMILY IS OF A HISPANIC HERITAGE WETHER WE/I ACT THAT WAY OR NOT, DEAL WITH IT NERD. SO SORRY IF I DON'T FIT WHAT YOU SEE AS OUR CULTURAL STEREOTYPES.... I'LL MAKE DOUBLY SURE TO WEAR A SOMBRERO AND EAT A BURRITO WHILE RIDING A DONKEY NEXT TIME WE TALK, YOU GODDAMN PLEB."

What I actually say:
"...I know right?" *screams internally*

 

[GJHenry]

How are you?
Everytime I see them they always ask me this question. I always reply that I'm good.
The repetitiveness of it made it stupid for me.

 

[feeback06]

When going through a divorce; some people usually ask an insulting, one word question. "Why?"

 

[Happiness Assassin]

Having pale skin, I have had a weird amount of people ask me if I am from Russia/Canada/Insert northern country here. No, I just don't go outside often. Maybe it was the way I acted, but a lot of people assume I am not American. I know it can't just be skin color.

Also a serious one, when I was going through a serious bout of depression a while ago, I started to open up about it to friends, family, and others. It really started to bug me after people kept asking the same question: "Can't you, just you know, think more positively?" A good 50% (at least) of the people I talked to about it asked that same question and every time I gave the same non-answer to it, it grated on me.

 

[Chaos Isaac]

"Do you have a accent?"

No, I don't. But I do have a speech impediment.

 

[Mr Fixit]

I don't get too many stupid questions, other than how to spell various simple words. I do get asked why I don't eat any more than I do fairly often. I'm a fairly big guy, 6 feet tall & about 240 pounds, but not overly fat. People just assume I eat like a horse. I'm sorry I can't eat four freaking hamburgers or an entire large pizza, I eat normal healthy portions. Some people go absolutely crazy when I say I'm not hungry at all. "But you're so big, you have to be hungry", no I don't, go try to force feed someone else.

 

[SmugFrog]

I get asked a lot of questions about my job, no one seems to know what an archivist actually does. XD

It's not that stupid, to be fair, it's not the most popular of professions. I'm so tired of trying to explain it though, I think I might just start lying about what I do.

I get the same. I'm a Fire Controlman.

"So you're a fire fighter?"

No. Even people in the Navy have said to me, "Oh, you do damage control?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_Controlman

 

[SmugFrog]

"Really? What does it smell like?"

Cheese. It smells like cheese. I know, shocking.

From being around various factories and food processing plants, I'm pretty surprised that it does smell like cheese and not some kind of chemical combination. The next question is, what kind of cheese? And does that give you an aversion to cheese because o the smell?

 

[Alex Baas]

I have synesthesia where I can taste the sounds of some music. Some music can taste so bad to me that I actually start to get sick. People are always asking me what this or that sound tastes like or why I have to fake illness to have the radio turned off. I love my synesthesia so much as it really adds a dimension to music that is very specific to me, but that shit that passes for music in the Top 40 is so freaking retched that I cant stand it. I have had to tolerate it almost every day for my entire life and when it finally breaks me I hate it. I cant tell you what it tastes like because there are no words you would understand to describe it. I do not fake illness, it is a legitimate nausea that I am expieriencing.

The other question I get asked alot is if I know John. Who the heck is John?

 

[Kmadden2004]

There are a few for me.

When I tell people I'm 6'7" I pretty much always get "so, what's the weather like up there?"

When I tell people I have UK size 15 feet I get either "buying shoes must be difficult?" or "is it true what they say about people with big feet?"

And when I tell people I don't drink booze I'm pretty much always subjected to a ten minute interrogation asking me if I'm a recovering alcoholic/on medication/some kind of puritan (funny, i also get the same response when I tell people I don't eat curries, either).