Taking bansturbation to a new level of stupid

sinterklaas

New member
Dec 6, 2010
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It's a nice and funny until you realise there are people that stupid out there who might take this seriously.
 

Macgyvercas

Spice & Wolf Restored!
Feb 19, 2009
6,103
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You know, I was going to rage at first, but then I started laughing at the sheer stupidity of the contents.
 

Jitters Caffeine

New member
Sep 10, 2011
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The "fake internet petition" joke is starting to get really old. The first couple times it was funny in a "oh how could I not see it was just a joke" kind of way. But now it's just gotten annoying when people don't realize it's fake and blast about how dumb the people who started it are.
 

illas

RAWR!!!
Apr 4, 2010
291
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0
Wow, sometimes it's scary to be reminded just how stupid many Americans are...
 
Aug 1, 2010
2,768
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The names of the people who have signed contains so much win...

I would be worried about the intelligence of people and that that crap, but this is clearly a very funny troll. The best part? I can guarantee at least 1 person saw that petition, said "Looks legit to me... Ban this filth!" and immediately clicked.

Oh, and to the people who thought was real and got mad.....

 

Emperor Nat

New member
Jun 15, 2011
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Zappanale said:
Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.
...I apologise on behalf of all Christian gamers, both lovers of WoW, Skyrim or whatever the hell this person is trying to rail against.

We're not all crazies. Some of us just pray on the loading screens that zombies don't eat my Nord's brains.

EDIT: Wait, is this person joking? Please say they're joking/trolling. That would restore so much of my hope in humanity.
 

RanD00M

New member
Oct 26, 2008
6,947
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It's based on a satirical post from a joke site that has been posted here at least once. And if Christwire isn't a joke then may Pzuzu have mercy on our Farnsworth.
 

Conza

New member
Nov 7, 2010
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Owyn_Merrilin said:
Conza said:
Zappanale said:
Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

What fucking wankers! The amount of wrong in this is just so hilarious. There's nothing right within this quote is there? 'The American people' fuck you christian fuckwits, you are not the American people, go fuck yourselves, I'm just glad that this isn't even a possibility, so we can all laugh at it.

Also I second this;

Nyaliva said:
Immediately Ban the Kind of People Who Come Up With This Shit.
Whereas violent videogaming is not the devil and for the most part is not going to cause people to commit crimes any more than they would have anyway,

Whereas Sexuality is not as prevalent as is said in the hype and people who feel "threatened" by it do more to corrupt the values upon which the USA was built,

Whereas Skyrim, while highly anticipated, really isn't going to do anymore damage than any other game of the same content,

We, the Escapist people, today ask you,

1) To not try to ban a game which has no legal argument to support such a ban.

2) To not ask to have every copy of a game destroyed when there are likely already a million untraceable sources available over the internet.

3) To not try to prosecute people who simply choose to play a particular game "to the full extent of the law" when there is no legal grounding for such prosecution.

4) To not ask for a database of information on people which is not only illegal but will likely put them at more danger from predators (although you probably think they deserve it).

5) To stop being so stupid in a way which puts yourself at the forefront of a glorious and righteous crusade against an evil which you have nothing but fear and heresay to justify such a crusade, and present it in such a stupid way (I put in an extra point for good measure ;)).

Here's my first signature:

Nyaliva
Conza
Sir, I believe you just proved me right that only people with a vested interest in making the other side look bad fall for examples of Poe's law. Seriously, dude, you're making the other atheists look bad.
I don't know what your problem is, but you're reported. I was voicing my distaste and disgust for the 'Christians' here, who make 'the other Christians' look bad.
 

Fishyash

Elite Member
Dec 27, 2010
1,154
0
41
This is definately a troll (and the people joining in are pretty funny, especially the signatures).

However, the most interesting thing about this thread, and the articles you linked is this is a great example of Poe's law...

Anyways, it was fun to read a bit of this thread.
 

Exia91

New member
Jul 7, 2010
287
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I am having loads of fun, skimming through all those signatures.

I am pretty certain this will never pass and I will chuckle at the authors efforts.

I just wasted 1 minute of my life; though laughing about the signatures made up for it. A good day, all in all.
 

TheBelgianGuy

New member
Aug 29, 2010
365
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I love these things. I mean it's so obviously satire. Not good satire, mind you, but still. It's amusing to see all rage-posts of people who for some reason didn't realize 5 seconds after reading that this is a joke.

Reaction 1. OMG I R CHRISTIAN, WE R NOT THINK LIKE THIS
Reaction 2. OMG I R ATHEIST< CHRISTNS AR DUMB
Reaction 3. It's a joke.
 

Griffolion

Elite Member
Aug 18, 2009
2,207
0
41
Zappanale said:
Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.
Oh dear. Oh dear indeed...
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
24,759
0
0
BabyRaptor said:
Zachary Amaranth said:
[

A nation founded by drug dealers, slave owners, pirates, and men who routinely whored. Frequently with slaves. YOU'RE RUINING THE GOOD CHRISTIAN MORALITY THIS NATION WAS FOUNDED ON!
They're ruining a foundation that only ever existed in their heads. Let them have their fun...It's amusing. =D
Hence the mockery. ;)

Though personally, I support more whoring and piracy.
 

Owyn_Merrilin

New member
May 22, 2010
7,370
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Conza said:
Owyn_Merrilin said:
Conza said:
Zappanale said:
Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

What fucking wankers! The amount of wrong in this is just so hilarious. There's nothing right within this quote is there? 'The American people' fuck you christian fuckwits, you are not the American people, go fuck yourselves, I'm just glad that this isn't even a possibility, so we can all laugh at it.

Also I second this;

Nyaliva said:
Immediately Ban the Kind of People Who Come Up With This Shit.
Whereas violent videogaming is not the devil and for the most part is not going to cause people to commit crimes any more than they would have anyway,

Whereas Sexuality is not as prevalent as is said in the hype and people who feel "threatened" by it do more to corrupt the values upon which the USA was built,

Whereas Skyrim, while highly anticipated, really isn't going to do anymore damage than any other game of the same content,

We, the Escapist people, today ask you,

1) To not try to ban a game which has no legal argument to support such a ban.

2) To not ask to have every copy of a game destroyed when there are likely already a million untraceable sources available over the internet.

3) To not try to prosecute people who simply choose to play a particular game "to the full extent of the law" when there is no legal grounding for such prosecution.

4) To not ask for a database of information on people which is not only illegal but will likely put them at more danger from predators (although you probably think they deserve it).

5) To stop being so stupid in a way which puts yourself at the forefront of a glorious and righteous crusade against an evil which you have nothing but fear and heresay to justify such a crusade, and present it in such a stupid way (I put in an extra point for good measure ;)).

Here's my first signature:

Nyaliva
Conza
Sir, I believe you just proved me right that only people with a vested interest in making the other side look bad fall for examples of Poe's law. Seriously, dude, you're making the other atheists look bad.
I don't know what your problem is, but you're reported. I was voicing my distaste and disgust for the 'Christians' here, who make 'the other Christians' look bad.

Yeah, go ahead. Report me for making a level headed remark about your insensitive remarks toward Christians. I await my warning with gusto.

Edit: Seriously, "Fuck you Christian Fuckwits, you are not the American people?" You almost look like an example of Poe's law being applied to militant atheists here. That petition is an obvious parody, you just flamed Christians because someone who was most likely an atheist made a joke at their expense. You then reported me for insensitive remarks. Oh the irony...
 

Conza

New member
Nov 7, 2010
951
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0
Owyn_Merrilin said:
Conza said:
Owyn_Merrilin said:
Conza said:
Zappanale said:
Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

What fucking wankers! The amount of wrong in this is just so hilarious. There's nothing right within this quote is there? 'The American people' fuck you christian fuckwits, you are not the American people, go fuck yourselves, I'm just glad that this isn't even a possibility, so we can all laugh at it.

Also I second this;

Nyaliva said:
Immediately Ban the Kind of People Who Come Up With This Shit.
Whereas violent videogaming is not the devil and for the most part is not going to cause people to commit crimes any more than they would have anyway,

Whereas Sexuality is not as prevalent as is said in the hype and people who feel "threatened" by it do more to corrupt the values upon which the USA was built,

Whereas Skyrim, while highly anticipated, really isn't going to do anymore damage than any other game of the same content,

We, the Escapist people, today ask you,

1) To not try to ban a game which has no legal argument to support such a ban.

2) To not ask to have every copy of a game destroyed when there are likely already a million untraceable sources available over the internet.

3) To not try to prosecute people who simply choose to play a particular game "to the full extent of the law" when there is no legal grounding for such prosecution.

4) To not ask for a database of information on people which is not only illegal but will likely put them at more danger from predators (although you probably think they deserve it).

5) To stop being so stupid in a way which puts yourself at the forefront of a glorious and righteous crusade against an evil which you have nothing but fear and heresay to justify such a crusade, and present it in such a stupid way (I put in an extra point for good measure ;)).

Here's my first signature:

Nyaliva
Conza
Sir, I believe you just proved me right that only people with a vested interest in making the other side look bad fall for examples of Poe's law. Seriously, dude, you're making the other atheists look bad.
I don't know what your problem is, but you're reported. I was voicing my distaste and disgust for the 'Christians' here, who make 'the other Christians' look bad.

Yeah, go ahead. Report me for making a level headed remark about your insensitive remarks toward Christians. I await my warning with gusto.

Edit: Seriously, "Fuck you Christian Fuckwits, you are not the American people?" You almost look like an example of Poe's law being applied to militant atheists here. That petition is an obvious parody, you just flamed Christians because someone who was most likely an atheist made a joke at their expense. You then reported me for insensitive remarks. Oh the irony...
I didn't call all Christians fuckwits, just those ones, get it right, and I didn't use a question mark there, learn to quote. I reported you for calling me 'Poe's law' which you did again - far out sometimes these forums...
 

Aiedail256

New member
Jan 21, 2011
197
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0
Zappanale said:
Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built
This is where I stopped reading and started facedesking. Why are you even giving these people traffic? They're either abysmally ignorant or trolls.