Teaching kids about homosexuality

[lettucethesallad]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

 

[The Hairminator]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

Yes, without a doubt. To only teach such children about the side that they feel is "appropriate", or to prolong telling them about it until a later time, would be akin to teaching them that it is wrong or unnatural in some way, especially when they are later surrounded by people who use the term incorrectly but are aware of the definition it holds (and the last thing we need is more teenagers who use the word "gay" like the end-all solution to all insults instead of realizing and respecting another lifestyle held by a group of people).

 

[lettucethesallad]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

 

[CheesusCrust]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

I'm going to have to agree with you.

 

[Astoria]

I don't think parents should shy away from talking about it but at the same time I wouldn't suggest mentioning it when having 'the talk'. It's something that kids will become curious about in time and that's when a parent should talk about it but including it in talking about straight relatonships might just confuse them.

 

[The Hairminator]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

 

[Timmehexas]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

Yes because informing them about it is so "encouraging" it, they're going to learn about it eventually why not tell them in a completely unbiased way so they can make up their own decision when they're older about whether they think it's right or wrong.

 

[lettucethesallad]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I laugh at people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

That I can agree with. Lots of 'bisexual' kids running around because it's the cool thing to be this week. My point was just that in my oppinion, information is important when building tolerance. If she doesn't know about gays, they'll always be strange and different. Teach a kid from the start that people are different and like different things, and maybe the social stigma will eventually go away.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, nonsexuality, etc, it should be said that none of that is important. None of that matters.
Kids should be taught that only love matters, it doesn't matter about the physical sex of the person.
Sure, tell them that only a heterosexual relationship brings a new life into the world (without the intervention of science), but don't make them think they have to go out and have kids. They can be who they want, and be with whoever they want. Plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted by loving parents anyway.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Of course children should be informed. It's ignorant and downright idiotic to exclude homosexuality, because as children are growing up they often grow very accustomed to what they have percieved as being "the norm" and it takes several years for them to mature enough to learn about the REAL world that isn't governed by norms alone.

By purposefully excluding the existence of homosexuality you'll basically start a breeding ground for homophobia. After all, if the child has only heard of heterosexual relationships and how it works and never anything else, then homosexuality will come off as even more "strange" and often "abhorrent" due to it's strangeness by simply being unfamiliar.

If the child learns at an early age that it exists and that just because homosexuals are attracted to their own sex rather than the opposite "like mommy and daddy" it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with them or their way of life.

A kid at a young age would be quick to pick up on this if taught early and you wouldn't have all these obnoxious homophobes running around everywhere if parents took their responsibility and informed their children of what exists in the world instead of only conveying their idealized and subjective version of it...

 

[LupusDei]

This is probaly the cause of all homophobes and gay haters in the world, simply because the parents feel that the kid should learn this crap on their own. Lets just teach her the ''Normal'' That way if the she grows up to discover that she may be gay, she has had NO teaching has to what it means, thus feeling isolated and alienated.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

Then again, how would you know?

It's not like you can read people's minds now is it, so how can you truly determine from THE OUTSIDE what other people are attracted to or not?

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I laugh at people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

That I can agree with. Lots of 'bisexual' kids running around because it's the cool thing to be this week. My point was just that in my oppinion, information is important when building tolerance. If she doesn't know about gays, they'll always be strange and different. Teach a kid from the start that people are different and like different things, and maybe the social stigma will eventually go away.

But there's a difference between learning about sex and teach kids about sexual orientations. Homosexuality is something for when they're a bit older methinks.

 

[Gigano]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

 

[Squilookle]

I think the reasons people have said for no are pretty good. For me it would depend entirely on the kid's surroundings. If, for example, I had a sibling that was gay and my kid grew up with a gay uncle/auntie, then I would think it was appropriate to explain homo and heterosexuality at the same time. If there's been little exposure so far, I'd probably wait a bit longer, but when the time came, explain it properly.

After all-

The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

Is a really good point. I'm pretty sure every teen wonders if they are (or could be gay) at some point, even if it's only for a moment followed by 'nah, there's no way!' And to even have the suspicion that that particular train of thought could have been brought on from the parents could be extremely damaging, whether it be implying that the parents are guiding them that way, or themselves being wary of it or something.

So I think I would wait until asked about it.

 

[rutger5000]

The flower and the bees stuff (or the Dutch version: your mother and your father stuff) is told to teach children where children come from, not really about sexual desires and such. I don't see any need why they would need to know about homo-sexuality. I don't think there is any harm to it to tell them about it, but it's not necessary. So if you as a parent are uncomfortable with it, then it can wait.
However I think it's wrong to send children into puberty without having talked about homosexuality, and teach them there is really nothing wrong with it. A child should always feel that he or she can always talk about anything with their parents. So before puberty when the need to talk about homo-sexuality might occur, they need to know that they can talk with their parents about it. And that their parents will still love them, regardless of what they might feel (YOU FAIL AS A PARENT AND A HUMAN BEING IF YOU DON'T).
The same applies for subjects like drugs, alcohol and stuff like that. Don't send your children into puberty ignorant. (And remember puberty can start earlier then you might think)

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

I agree with this 100%.

It all comes down to the parent's decisions though, and they chose to have the child so its their burden and their choice on how to act on these matters. And it really isn't anyone else's business

 

[Exterminas]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You cannot catch the gay. It's not like soccer
"If you never knew anything about it, you won't like it"
If the kid is homosexual it will feel uneasy when growing up, encountert with "normal" sexuality. That is how homosexuality first came to be. How else do you think that worked? Where did "the gay" else come from than from normal human beings? Did Satan do a tap-dancing-routine? Hell no.

And besides: The kid is likely to encounter homosexuality in it's daily life sooner or later. So just like with normal sex-ed it's better to have a prepared kid than a nonprepared.

Unfortunately, telling from this story, your sister doesn't seem to be the right person to handle this correctly. Maybe you should check out some books together. It's likely you are not the first people with that problem.