Tell Gearbox Why You Hated Duke Nukem Forever

[Andy of Comix Inc]

It could've been great, man. And I wish it had been. But...it wasn't. That's not critics talking, either. That's a fan talking. I'm not angry or vindictive, just...disappointed.

...shit, is this that thing parents are always talking about feeling?

But y'see, disappointed is fair. Disappointed is valid. Disappointment is not review bombing Metacritic. Disappointment is not treating this game like you opened the box and it suddenly have you AIDS. Disappointment is not assuming everybody in the entire world hated the game as much as you, and telling everybody to go and tell the developers why they should choke to death on their breakfast cereal. Disappointment is a-okay.

Rushing them does make them worse sure but taking forever doesn't make it better either.

Like George Lucas. He didn't wrong anybody with the Prequel Trilogy. He largely forgot how to make movies seeing as he hadn't done it in twenty years. Also once again they weren't that bad anyway (the hardest one to watch is phantom due to all of the kiddified bullshit forced into it).

Oh sure don't get me wrong, some of the idiocy he did in those movies made me want to smack him just a litte but.... Christ people need to get over their prima donna, rage at the heavens over nothing selves.

Don't get me started on the Star Wars prequels. He didn't wrong anyone except himself, his fans, his legacy, the directors and producers of the other Star Wars films, popular culture as a whole... yeah, he did kind wrong a few people. Especially himself.

The Star Wars prequels are genuinely bad filmmaking, though. They're quite literally a list of "what not to do". They are objectively bad (considering you're taking into account the years of invisible rules about character development, scene progression, tone - which makes it subjective but shut up), especially when compared to previous Star Wars films. And to be honest, Phantom Menace probably comes out the best of the prequel trilogy in terms of less possible fuck-ups.

It's like you said though, on the term of rushing. George Lucas wrote the Star Wars prequels in one draft. One draft. Everyone gave him the thumbs up because, well, he's George fucking Lucas. And then the films were made to blueprints that were horrendous.

Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, is the opposite of that - the blueprints got changed so often and it took so long to figure out what was what that in the end it became a horrible Frankenstein's monster of a game taking elements from every previous version beforehand. "Too many chefs spoiled the broth," I believe is the saying.

So my point I guess, is, directly comparing the Star Wars prequels, the rushed, objectively horrible films, to Duke Nukem Forever, the definitely-not-rushed, subjectively horrible game, is bad. Comparing fan disappointment isn't though. But oh god, yeah, the Star Wars prequels are kind of as horrible as people say, even if the fan outcry isn't quite as justified as they'd have you believe.

And do I see the irony in my defending of Duke Nukem Forever while chastising the Star Wars prequels? I do, but I choose to ignore it. So might you.

 

[robandall]

All this Duke Nukem Forever hate. Well, it's all fair. Granted, even. But why must it border on vindictive??

GO, POSITIVE:

The irony of posting a Rageaholic review as an example of positive criticism!