tell me something...anything

[steampunk42]

sitting in front of me is an empty notebook, it has 100 pages. I would like you to help me fill its pages. Just tell me one story that you think is cool. even if its cool only to you and nobody else. No names need included, the only thing i ask is that the story be 100 hundred percent true. It can be a story of a loss, perhaps even a story of just how you won a tournament. i want to collect these stories and write them down. Finally i would ask you leave an alias with your story. not your user nae but a first and last name of your choosing. Finally, if you want to know why i want these, suffice to say its my penance.

 

[Rawne1980]

I'll tell you a tale. Not a particularly interesting one and some may look down on it.

Just remember we were young and young army lads sometimes make stupid wagers.

Anywhoooo.

We were on leave after being part of the very last tour of Northern Ireland and decided that after 6 months of no beer and women that we needed ... well ... beer and women.

But drinking and pulling happens all the time so we decided to make it a bit more "interesting" and placed bets on who could pull the ugliest lass.

So we went through a few pubs and got to the club, Richie was winning at this point (he'd copped off in the last bar we were in and the lass had a monobrow and quite thick hairs poking out of her nose ... it was quite scary).

About 45 minutes after getting to the club Rob was on the dancefloor playing tonsil tennis with a lass when Dean (who was the money holder) takes out the cash, walks up to Rob and hands it to him.

Rob came over and asks why because he thought she was quite a bonny lass.

Dean points up at a poster just next to the bar.

Rob had been locking lips with the drag act.

He never lived it down and still gets mocked to this day.

Adam Ripley.

 

[FalloutJack]

I once played chicken with a bullet train.

If you have to ask how it ended, uhhh...I won.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Well i'm currently trying to tweak my build for Irelia in League of Legends... Taking Philo Stone, Heart of Gold and Merc Treads is a must but after building Trinity Force should I make my Attack Speed even more insane by taking a Wit's End or something? It gives magic resist as well so it's not like i'm stacking Phantom Dancers like i'm pretending to be an AD Carry.

Dunno, just feel like I should take one more AD/AS item before stacking as much health, armour and magic resist as I can buy. Hiten Style would be amazing with super Attack Speed. The health regen would be insane.

Suppose i'll have to take a break from my surprisingly apt Jungle Nocturne and try it out in a few games.


Hmmmm, choices, choices. If only every Champion could be built AP then i'd know what to build... If only RoA wasn't so soulcrushing to build.

This does count as a story right? Of course it does.

 

[Vault101]

Mass Effect 3 fits in rather well with Nine Inch nails Album "Year Zero" (not having playes the ending DLC yet)

[spoiler/] The Begining of the End - the reapers have arrived, we were not prepared..lyric: we think we've come so far we think we are the most advanced, we thourght we were amune from the aparent "cycle" we are just all the protheins and the races before...the cycle cant be broken

survivalism - perhaps just hysteria and chaos as the reapers attack, particually on earth

The Good Solder - a Cerberus Solder having second thourghts lyric:

I am trying to see
I am trying to believe
This is not where I should be
I am trying to believe

Vessel - an induvidual going through the indroctrination/reaperfication process..complely delusonal lyric:

I can leave all of this flesh behind
I can see right through the whole façade
I am becoming something else
I am turning into God

Me, I'm Not- somone going through indoctrination..again, not sure with this one

Captial G - although the tone suggests apathy and ignorance rather than determination, it does kind of remind me of the Illusive man or Saren Lyric:

Don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person
You haven't had enough to know what its like
You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right... alright!

Well I used to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
There's a lot of me inside you
Maybe you're afraid to see


My violent heart - this one can go eather way, on one hand it can apply to the reapers or cerberus

Lyric: Time will feed upon your weaknesses
And soon you'll lose the will to care
When you return to the place that you call home
We will be there, we will be there

on the other hand however, it can also apply to those fighting aginst the reapers (though not at first because the tone is rather omnivous and confidently agressive)

On hands and knees
We crawl
You cannot stop us all
you wear our bones
our skin
We will not let you in

The Warning - perhaps the warning the prothiens sent out..or the veiws that some races have to each other..or even what the reaper starchild has to say to shepard

God Given - the fanatical racism of Cerberus, and how "humanity" will be the ones ot controll the reapers

This you cannot win
With the color of your skin
You won't be getting into the Promised Land
This is just another case
You people still don't know your place
Step aside, out the way, wipe that look of your face
Cuz we are the divine separated from the swine
Come on, sing along, everybody now
God given

Meet your Master - again, perhaps mainly cerberus reltaed, I imgaine the things they dont to other races and humans, and of coarse the "humanitys dominance" thing... it could also be from the perspective of the reapers

You've left quite a mess here under your stewardship
You thought you figured it out but you'll learn your place in this
Might take some convincing for you to see the truth
There are so many things we've got in store for you

also the chorus

Count down to the end
Gotta make it come faster, faster
Right around the bend
Is a coming disaster
Count down to the end
And we're headed their faster
Come on down my friend
It's time to meet your master

that might also involve the reapers, this could also perhaps be applyed to saren too

The Great destroyer - could be interpated like vessal..indoctrination and being delusonal (in a way it could be about Kei Leng because that guy seemed delusional in regard to his own prowess) but then in a way it could also apply to shepard, particually if he/she chooses "destruction" interestingly this is the "turning point" in the album, there some great doomsday even has occured...in relation to the game when shepard makes his/her choice with the crucible

In This twilight (my favorite song) this I imagine occurs at the end...in the colured explosions..its an "end of the world as we know it: type song, but also a somwhat upbeat, "hopeful" since that word is used alot in ME3

And the sky is filled with light
Can you see it?
All the black is really white
If you believe it
As your time is running out
Let me take away your doubt
You can find a better a place
In this twilight

seeing the outcome as somthing posative

Zero sum - the last song on the album, its not quite as upbeat, as "In this twilight" its more regretful and cynical and even haunting, I imagine from the perspective of Cerberus

chorus:

Shame on us, doomed from the start
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts
Shame on us for all we have done
And all we ever were. Just zeroes and ones <- in the grand scheme of things we were really nothing,

And I guess I just wanted to tell you, as the light starts to fade,
That you are the reason that I am not afraid.
And I guess I just wanted to mention, as the heavens will fall,
We will be together soon if we will be anything at all. still hope in away...preparing for whatever is to come [/spoiler][/quote]

 

[wintercoat]

Spoiler

Now go write the most badass Christmas story ever told.

 

[applesandoranges]

edit

 

[Hemlet]

Well, a couple of years ago for my High School Grad, me and my friends decided to skip out on the self-congratulatory speeches and abusively long ceremony and skip straight to the eating and drinking around a fire at one of their houses.

Well, a few hours and drinks into the night our one sober friend (there's literally no point in this friend drinking, lets just say alcohol doesn't affect him like it does the average person) remembers that his brother has a bottle of cheap whiskey that he's been meaning to get rid of. One quick trip to his place later and we're back around the fire with stronger booze to pass around. 8 shots later and I can barely stand, with my other friend beating me at 13 shots. At that point we decide we've had enough to drink and just focus on eating.

This is where things get particularly stupid. You see, being drunk has a tendency to make people dumber and I am by no means an exception to that rule. I decided, in my drunken state, that I wanted to cook some marshmallows over the fire but was too lazy to go find a marshmallow stick. My solution was to dunk my hand in the ice water we had for beers, put a bunch of marshmallows on the ends of my fingers, and shove my hand in the fire to cook the marshmallows. Amazingly, not only did my hand come out burn-free, but my marshmallows were cooked to perfection.

Oh you thought I was done? Oh no the stupidity of that night has just started at this point. We were thankfully sober enough to realize we needed to get water in our systems if we were going to wake up tomorrow and not pray for death, so I stumbled off to fill an empty 2 litre bottle with water. Naturally, after getting back and sitting down with the water, I immediately felt nature's call and stood back up to go relieve myself. During my absence my asshole friends decided to spike the water with what was left of the whiskey and let me have the whole bottle to myself. I spent the rest of the night sipping from that water bottle and wondering why the water tasted funny.

Later on, with spiked bottle in hand, our sober friend offered to give us a ride to Denny's for a (very) early breakfast. During this visit at Denny's:

-I tried eating french toast with a straw

-I was pushed out of my seat about 15 times by my other drunk friend

-Something involving "drunk aim" happened in the bathroom

-The waitress realized that my bottle of water was spiked and thankfully replaced it with normal water

-We were asked to leave because of us being a) loud and b) attempting handstands between the tables

-Our sober friend apologized for us and ran to catch up to us and drag us back to the car (we'd forgotten that he'd given us a ride and tried to walk home)

All in all, it was a pretty fun night. Funnily enough we ended up becoming regulars at that Denny's, to the point where the waitresses knew us on sight and would bring us our drinks without us needing to order them. The cherry on top though was that I was the ONLY one who woke up the next morning without a headache.

 

[strangemoose]

there once was a man from peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe
he woke in a fright in the middle of the night
to find that his dream had come true

 

[Nouw]

Now...here's a little story, I got tell about an Escapist Forum user you know so well,
it started way back, in history with...

Well, that's as far as it goes really .

 

[The Funslinger]

About 11 months ago, I was walking back up to the village where I live. As I'm walking up this long stretch of road just after coming around a corner, this guy with an Essex accent stands in front of me, and starts shoving me, telling me in garbled chav fashion to give him my wallet. I shove him back, and he stumbles. He comes back up with one of those sword shaped letter openers in his hand and buries it in my thigh. I punch him in the face and send him sprawling. At this point, a car comes round the corner, so he picks up his letter opener, and runs off with a bloody nose.

I set off limping home, losing quite a lot of blood along the way. Fortunately, the street cleaners went along the next day, or that would have hit newspapers. All in all, I lost three pints of blood, and I'm a little underweight as it is. Fortunately, handling blood loss seems to be a talent of mine. I totter into my house and see nobody is home. I pour vodka on the wound to try to sterilize it, and then use some old towels to fashion a crude bandage. I then spent the next couple of weeks pretty bed ridden, but nobody was suspicious.

The scar sucks balls, though. It's not even a good one. Curse my body's efficient healing!

 

[Alternative]

snip

Similar story to me.
A few years a go i was walking home from high school.
taking a short cut across empty lot i saw two guys who looked like they where upto no good
i wasnt too worried, i mean if you locked up everyone in my town who looked like they where upto no good, the place would be empty.

However when our paths crossed, roughly halfway across the lot.
they stopped me and demanded any money/electronics ect I had
when i refused, one of them (who looked like a crack head if i ever saw one)
uppercut me to the jaw, i retaliated by breaking his nose.
his friend pulled a knife and threatened me with it (something along the lines of hand it over or ill fucking stab you, my head was muddled from the punch but i caught the git of what he said)
The crackhead didnt take to kindly to having his nose broken and took another swing at me
i tackled him and we scuffled till knife-guy pulled me off crackhead, i proceeded to swing at knife guy, catching him on the head, he then stabbed me in the gut.

The two took off, i hurried home, which was across the road from the empty lot. where i was taken to hospital.

after two surgery's to repair the damage.

spent 3 days in hospital
and a year with extreme paranoia about the outside world.


Now whenever anyone trys the "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" line on me i point out that i have damaged stomach muscles from the incident and it now hurts to stand up for too long, or todo any heavy lifting.

 

[The Funslinger]

snip

Similar story to me.
A few years a go i was walking home from high school.
taking a short cut across empty lot i saw two guys who looked like they where upto no good
i wasnt too worried, i mean if you locked up everyone in my town who looked like they where upto no good, the place would be empty.

However when our paths crossed, roughly halfway across the lot.
they stopped me and demanded any money/electronics ect I had
when i refused, one of them (who looked like a crack head if i ever saw one)
uppercut me to the jaw, i retaliated by breaking his nose.
his friend pulled a knife and threatened me with it (something along the lines of hand it over or ill fucking stab you, my head was muddled from the punch but i caught the git of what he said)
The crackhead didnt take to kindly to having his nose broken and took another swing at me
i tackled him and we scuffled till knife-guy pulled me off crackhead, i proceeded to swing at knife guy, catching him on the head, he then stabbed me in the gut.

The two took off, i hurried home, which was across the road from the empty lot. where i was taken to hospital.

after two surgery's to repair the damage.

spent 3 days in hospital
and a year with extreme paranoia about the outside world.


Now whenever anyone trys the "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" line on me i point out that i have damaged stomach muscles from the incident and it now hurts to stand up for too long, or todo any heavy lifting.

You know, when you said you saw guys who were up to no good, I was half convinced you were going to break into the 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air' theme.

Anyhow, luckily, mine hasn't physically affected me in any way, so it hasn't ruined my desire to join the Royal Marines. The closest it comes to bothering me is the occasional slight tension in my thigh.

 

[Guffe]

Several years ago I held a Halo 2 Basement Tournament in my basement.
We had two TVs and put back to back and two Xboxes with Halo 2 and 4 controllers each.
3 tournaments:
1v1 in a 5 life match small maps and everything on random tournament mode.
2v2 in a every group vs every group ones getting 1 point for win 0 for loss
4v4 best of 7 everyone 5 lives per round
I got to the Final in the 1v1 tournament and we got a sword sniper combination in a small map. I got killed twice, then I killed him three times, he killed me ones so we were down to 2-2 lives per person, shit was getting tence.
I killed him and was 2-1 up, I had gotten three of my kills with grenades, I was sort of a grenade master in Halo with my brother since we took a challenge to get through the game with only grenades and close combat so this was a bit to my advantage but he was damn good with the sword so it evened out a little.
I was running towards a sword when he jumps out from a hiding, he had seen me going for the sword and went for an ambush. He jumped me from the side but I noticed him just in time to turn and right as he clicked to charged I changed to plasma grenades and stucked him, o from the grave I went to win 1-0.
It was one tense final and one we still talk about when it comes to gaming experiences.
End of my story.

 

[Zhukov]

That fluff that accumulates in your navel comes from your clothing.

 

[Popadoo]

The fluff that accumulates in your navel comes from your clothing.

Then what purpose do the belly-button gnomes serve?

OT: I'm a very boring person. I could tell you a bunch of in-game stories but I don't go out much and therefore don't have many a-tale to tell.

 

[xmbts]

Well one time I walked into a parking lot, then a vehicle of some description hit me breaking a collarbone and 6 ribs, damaging my liver and spleen and causing internal bleeding in my lungs. Shortly after I fractured my skull on the ground. After having my last rights read to me numerous times over the next week or so I woke up and started learning how to move again.

14 years later I'm feeling fine.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Right so I used to have a friend whom I shall name Bile-y... Anyway one day me and Bile-y were sitting down at the desk in the lab and Bile-y started laughing at the fact that my family had a history of mental illness and that I would never become a doctor because of it. He then went on to brag about one of his parents being a doctor in physiotherapy. After listening to his tales I explained to him that physiotherapists were glorified masseuses who were glorified prostitutes and bile-y then proceeded to punch me in the ribs very hard. 20 minutes later when he was insulting my hair I stood up, walked away and he started telling people I was going off to cry which was especially annoying since one peeps he told happened to be a chick I had feelings for... Long story short I walked out off the room, took off my belt, came back, wrapped it round his neck and dragged him off the chair before telling him to either back off or get hurt...

We aren't friends anymore...

 

[bulbasaur765]

For my 21st birthday, my friends took me out to the bar to get me drunk and one of my friends was skilled at playing pool. One of his friends was there who also played pool and they decided to play against each other while I watched on. In one of my friend's turns he put too much power into his shot and the cue ball bounced over the pool table and the other friend's eye. He was bleeding profusely so we went to the emergency room after that, but he turned out okay. I was passed out afterwards.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I was at a local charity concert bored out of my mind. I was sitting at the far end of the balcony and could see another stairway going up to a "VIP Balcony" with a paper taped sign that said "Employees Only!!!" with a chair and a chain blocking the way. Every few minutes, a group of people would walk that way, look at the sign, and turn around and go back. That didn't seem right for human beings to be dissuaded by a piece of paper and a chain. So, when no one was looking, I tore the sign down. Then, I undid the chain. Suddenly, groups of people started moving into this new section, putting a dumb grin on my face. I didn't go up there though. You're not supposed to.

Then later, it was just little kids running around and one of them bounced a rubber bracelet off of my head. Then it hit a woman below and she thought I did it. Little bastard. I should have followed him and ratted him out to his dad.