TF2 Update: The Engineer With the Golden Wrench

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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TF2 Update: The Engineer With the Golden Wrench


At long last, the Team Fortress 2 [http://www.amazon.com/Team-Fortress-2-Pc/dp/B00140S21O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1278342910&sr=1-1] Engineer is getting some love from Valve, including an epic, generation-spanning comic and the debut of the fabled Golden Wrench.

The Engineer is a humble man, eschewing flash and glory for effectiveness and results. His quiet reliability leaves him often overlooked amidst the chaos and carnage of the TF2 battlefield, yet without the rock-solid foundation provided by his various creations, many a team would collapse in disarray. It's nice to see, then, that the hard-hatted hero is finally starting to get the respect he deserves.

Expanding yet further upon the Team Fortress 2 lore is Loose Cannon [http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/index.html], a lengthy comic telling the tale of not just the current Engineer but also his forebears, going all the way back to 1890 - which is apparently when the long-running conflict between the Red and the Blue first began. The game's deep connection with the mysterious land of Australia, a nation of "lager-pickled idiots" that just happens to be set atop the world's only "transformative" element, is also explored to hilarious effect.

From a more practical perspective, the Golden Wrench, which was discovered in the game's files following the July 1 update, has also apparently gone live. The Golden Wrench appears to be identical to its standard drop-forged steel counterpart, except that enemies killed with it turn into golden statues. Only five wrenches were supposed to drop but a bug in the drop system resulted in more being set loose, according to the TF2 Backpack Examiner [http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Golden_Wrench] says only 16 players currently possess it.

The odds are good that there's more to come for gaming's foremost practical problem solver, so keep an eye on the Team Fortress blog [http://www.teamfortress.com/] for updates!

Thanks to Sir Kemper [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Sir+Kemper] for the tip.


Permalink
 

The DSM

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Apr 18, 2009
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*Squee*

Nice to see them putting in some back story for this one.

Those 16 people must be hassled about where they got the wrenches all the time...
 

Flying Dagger

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Apr 14, 2009
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Nice to see they are still updating what is a rather old game now... and without subscription fees...

I had my funtimes with TF2, I don't think I'll be attempting to get back into it though.
 

Sephychu

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Dec 13, 2009
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Banana Phone Man said:
Man I want to play TF2 badly now. God damn my brothers for blowing up the computer.
You're directly related to homeland terrorists?

This update is looking pretty splendiferous. Cann'ae wait.
Speculation as to what it will be at this point seems useless, but I really would like mobile buildings.
 

Jared

The British Paladin
Jul 14, 2009
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Am I wrong for immediatly thinking "The man with the Golden Wrench..."

(Please tell me someone gets the reference!)
 

wrecker77

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May 31, 2008
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The golden wrench is stupid IMO. It doesn't follow the valve formula of, its a new weapon, with a new ability or something, but it has a downside (Cant do this, or less dmg/ total health). And chances are, if your an engineer, you have probably got a dispenser in arms reach, you don't need the extra metal. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the wiki article.

EDIT: They removed it from the article.

Basically, when you kill someone with the wrench, you "Collected" the person you turned to gold, and turned them into metal for building engineer stuff.
 

Pielikey

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Jul 31, 2009
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Remember when this game was just about red and blue people shooting at eachother? It's so fucking complex these days I can't see how a new player would be able to figure it all out...
 

GothmogII

Possessor Of Hats
Apr 6, 2008
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Pielikey said:
Remember when this game was just about red and blue people shooting at eachother? It's so fucking complex these days I can't see how a new player would be able to figure it all out...
Err...it still is basically the same. Have gun. Shoot. That's it really.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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So the pyro is really Lincoln.

It all makes sense now.

...

I LIKE THIS COUGAR'S PEPPER SAUCE!
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Jaredin said:
Am I wrong for immediatly thinking "The man with the Golden Wrench..."

(Please tell me someone gets the reference!)
The man with the Golden Gun?
 

sooperman

Partially Awesome at Things
Feb 11, 2009
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This is kinda weird for a TF2 weapon. It seems so... normal. Rather tame, really. I wonder if any other class is going to get a golden trophy like this?

Speaking of TF2, I'm getting desperate. I'm trying to run it on Steam for Mac, but the servers are always too busy to handle my request. I've tried everything suggested on the FAQ, so if anyone has something to clear up the servers or my Mac, I'd appreciate it immensely.
 

General Ken8

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May 18, 2009
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I CAN HAZ WRENCH?!
I've been waiting for an engineer update, but I guess this works for the time being. But what is the point of turning people in to golden statues?
 

Outright Villainy

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Jan 19, 2010
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Might be nitpicking here (in fact, I know I am), but the name of the comic is "loose Canon", not "Loose cannon"
IT'S THAT DEM THERE WORDPLAY!
Also, it starts in 1850 [http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/04.html], not 1890.
Yeah, feel bad about your inaccuracies and having a life!
 

Ironic Pirate

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May 21, 2009
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Jaredin said:
Am I wrong for immediatly thinking "The man with the Golden Wrench..."

(Please tell me someone gets the reference!)
Are you referencing the movie or the Alice Cooper song?

Because I haven't yet seen the movie.
 

Kajt

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Feb 20, 2009
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Valve just had to do this while I'm on vacation without any acess to TF2 whatsoever... bastards.
 

elvor0

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Sep 8, 2008
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Pielikey said:
Remember when this game was just about red and blue people shooting at eachother? It's so fucking complex these days I can't see how a new player would be able to figure it all out...
It...still is. Sure you get new items, every now and then but that's hardly massively complex, and the comics are easy to follow alongside the fact that you dont need to understand them to play the game.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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Well there goes my staining the swing and organizing the garage today... -.-
 

Luke5515

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Irridium said:
I LIKE THIS COUGAR'S PEPPER SAUCE!
This is why the comics are so great.

So people can get the wrench, but no one knows how too...hmmm... Come on gang, to the Mystery Machine!
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Now just watch as every TF2 server in existence gets flooded with engineers.

I think I'll go spy for a while...
 

Soviet Heavy

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Jaredin said:
Am I wrong for immediatly thinking "The man with the Golden Wrench..."

(Please tell me someone gets the reference!)
I get it. Any Bond fan should get this reference.
 

DazZ.

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Jun 4, 2009
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Golden Wrench 21 just dropped, there was a gamewide announcement as it did.
 

Echo136

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Feb 22, 2010
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Only 16? Why even put it in the game if your only going to be releasing it to that many people.
 

AceDiamond

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Jul 7, 2008
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Echo136 said:
Only 16? Why even put it in the game if your only going to be releasing it to that many people.
You act like reskinning a wrench is a complex and secret process known only to the Techpriests on Mars or something. It really isn't. And only 16 people so far have it. Maybe more will get it, maybe they won't.
 

FallenTraveler

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Jun 11, 2010
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Lincoln's the F*cking pyro... oh god how I love valve! I kinda wanna know how they determined which 16 people would get the wrenches... I sense a storm a'brewin :p
 

wasalp

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Dec 22, 2008
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Kajt said:
Valve just had to do this while I'm on vacation without any acess to TF2 whatsoever... bastards.
the update isn't out yet. They just started the teasing campaign
 

Podunk

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Dec 18, 2008
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Only five were supposed to drop? Does this sound like a Willy Wonka/Golden Ticket sort of thing to anyone?

EDIT: Maybe the 5 people who got it would get all the engineer unlocks for free, or a trip to Valve offices, or something.
 

rileyrulesu

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Jun 15, 2009
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which mercenary is the engineer? I think it's the mailman, but there's no real indication of that other than process of elimination. Was that grandfather conagher's son, since he is never mentioned? Or is he just a dumb deadbeat father who wasn't worth mentioning in the comic?
 

rileyrulesu

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Jun 15, 2009
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sooperman said:
This is kinda weird for a TF2 weapon. It seems so... normal. Rather tame, really. I wonder if any other class is going to get a golden trophy like this?

Speaking of TF2, I'm getting desperate. I'm trying to run it on Steam for Mac, but the servers are always too busy to handle my request. I've tried everything suggested on the FAQ, so if anyone has something to clear up the servers or my Mac, I'd appreciate it immensely.
i found just wait, after a while, it works, and it seems to get faster every time for me.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Irridium said:
So the pyro is really Lincoln.

It all makes sense now.
I personally like to think the pyro is a victim of the holocaust: He was put in the crematoriums, but didn't die.

With his horrible disfigured and burned skin, he wore a flame proof suit to protect from his horrible past, while using fire as an ironic weapon to put other through the pain he suffered.

Then again I think everyone should be able to imagine who the pyro really is
 

DazZ.

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Jun 4, 2009
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Update:

http://www.teamfortress.com/engineerupdate/wrenchlog/

It's not 16, it's going to be 100, and from the looks of that page you get it from crafting rather than random drops.
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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Love the picture on page 5:
http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/05.html

Page 9 is pretty hilarious as well:
http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/09.html

Now, when are we getting the 'Meet the Medic/Meet the Pyro' video?
 

Andronicus

Terror Australis
Mar 25, 2009
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Not sure I agree with the whole "lager-pickled idiots" generalisation, but it's nice to get a bit of attention down here :)

That, and the girl with the moustache and a pet kangaroo in page 9 [http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/09.html] was just pure absolute gold Australium.
 

mew4ever23

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Mar 21, 2008
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Can not wait. Need NOW.

Jaredin said:
Am I wrong for immediatly thinking "The man with the Golden Wrench..."

(Please tell me someone gets the reference!)
Yeah. Oddly enough, one of the people that's found the wrench according to valve goes by the steam friends name "The man with the golden wrench".
 

tombman888

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Jul 12, 2009
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was just playing TF2 when a message comes up on the center of the screen. "*insertnamehere* has found golden wrench No.38" this person wasn't even on the server i was playing on. god dam, i want it so badly.
 

Harlemura

Ace Defective
May 1, 2009
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I saw someone get a wrench earlier. The jealousy coursing through my blood is, at this moment, unrivalled.
But, hey! New shotgun comin' out! Coolio!
 

TheEpic_1

Mmmm.. Zephyr Biscut
Jan 8, 2010
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Andronicus said:
Not sure I agree with the whole "lager-pickled idiots" generalisation, but it's nice to get a bit of attention down here :)

That, and the girl with the moustache and a pet kangaroo in page 9 [http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/09.html] was just pure absolute gold Australium.
I really love the way Valve likes to take the piss outta us. It really is like what the comic says its like in Australis for all of you in other countries. our women are so much woman they have moustashes.
 

ShakerSilver

Professional Procrastinator
Nov 13, 2009
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Oh God I want that wrench. I've been crafting my butt off trying to get one, and now I'm only down to a few items. WHY ME!?
 

ExplosionProofTaco

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Nov 13, 2008
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It would be HOO-LARIOUS if the Golden Wrenches were made normal unlockables after the update. I doubt it would happen though.

I've also heard one Wrench went out to someone who just started the Game.
 

Sir Kemper

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Jan 21, 2010
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Thanks for the mention!

Considering I'm comeing late to the party, it seem's they'res about 40 some odd wrench's about now.

Still, interesting stuff is about in the TF2 universe.
 

TheYellowCellPhone

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I'm not going to Team Fortress 2 for a while now, possibly until September. The Demo-Soldier war taught me one thing: wait for the rush of people to die down before joining.
 

Sir Kemper

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TheEpic_1 said:
Andronicus said:
Not sure I agree with the whole "lager-pickled idiots" generalisation, but it's nice to get a bit of attention down here :)

That, and the girl with the moustache and a pet kangaroo in page 9 [http://www.teamfortress.com/loosecanon/09.html] was just pure absolute gold Australium.
I really love the way Valve likes to take the piss outta us. It really is like what the comic says its like in Australis for all of you in other countries. our women are so much woman they have moustashes.
If it's worth anything, you guys have managed to outpace us, technology wise...

If that counts for anything...

ExplosionProofTaco said:
It would be HOO-LARIOUS if the Golden Wrenches were made normal unlockables after the update. I doubt it would happen though.

I've also heard one Wrench went out to someone who just started the Game.
Also, apperantly the first person who got a wrench was an infamous hacker.

He was promptly Vac-banned.


Gotta love the steam forums some times.
 

snow

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Jan 14, 2010
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Podunk said:
Only five were supposed to drop? Does this sound like a Willy Wonka/Golden Ticket sort of thing to anyone?

EDIT: Maybe the 5 people who got it would get all the engineer unlocks for free, or a trip to Valve offices, or something.
Man, I was about to say that those 5(16) lucky wielders of the Golden Wrench will receive a tour to the Engineers Factory! Darn you!! :p
 

Podunk

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snowfox said:
Podunk said:
Only five were supposed to drop? Does this sound like a Willy Wonka/Golden Ticket sort of thing to anyone?

EDIT: Maybe the 5 people who got it would get all the engineer unlocks for free, or a trip to Valve offices, or something.
Man, I was about to say that those 5(16) lucky wielders of the Golden Wrench will receive a tour to the Engineers Factory! Darn you!! :p
Turns out that was just a coincidence I suppose- They're giving away 100 of them now.

Rakkana said:
ME WANT GOLDEN WRENCH!

How do I get one without hacking!?!?!?!?!
It's heavily implied you get one randomly when you craft something... I plan on logging on tomorrow and crafting down every single spare item I have in hopes of getting one!
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Sir Kemper said:
Also, apperantly the first person who got a wrench was an infamous hacker.

He was promptly Vac-banned.


Gotta love the steam forums some times.
That is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Some dude that owns a few of the servers I play on regularly got one.
I was hoping if I didn't get one, nobody I play with regularly would either so I didn't have to see it.

Then again, the dude doesn't play Engie all that much. So I wont have to see it being used.

I wants it, precious. I NEEDS it. It calls to us.
Gollum
 

mew4ever23

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Mar 21, 2008
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BREAKING NEWS:

Moments ago a cry of failure went out across the base.
WRENCH #27 IS NO MORE!
 

Netrosis

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If I don't get a Golden Wrench, I hope they release Golden Wrench plushies, those would be awesome. I could have like, a real life one to hug, or maybe whack people with it in real life.

I'm not a fan of how this engineer update is going. Limited Edition items, particularly when they're RANDOM is a horrible idea.
The Cheater's Lament was a horrible move on Valve's behalf, and this one is equally as bad.

That being said, I really like the look and ideas behind the new weapons. The Wrangler, being able to aim your sentry, plus a shield and increase firing rate is just plain awesome. However it'll depend just how the aiming system works, precisely.

Also, I'm really happy Drunken F00l got one, (SourceOP admin, TF2 Backpack Examiner, etc.) He's done a LOT of good work for the TF2 community. The whole idling fiasco was a shame, but otherwise he does deserve one.
But now I'm thinking these perhaps aren't quite random as they seem.
#73 is out, only TWO MORE till the next weapon. w00t.
 

sgtshock

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Feb 11, 2009
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It's been found! Someone has found the last Golden Ticket! Er- I mean wrench.

The last unlocks have been announced, and hopefully it'll go live soon.
 
Oct 9, 2009
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an unsung hero?! REALLY! anyone can tell you that a person who knows what they are doing with this character can unleash untold horror and pain on the opposing team.
 

Endocrom

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Apr 6, 2009
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That shotgun looks purdy.

Now git that dern 'Meet the Medic' video under way.