The 5 Worst Theme Park Rides

fOx

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5. Disney's Soarin: I once spent 5 hours waiting in line for this ride. I've had more fun at work and atlest I get paid there. And what do I get for my wait? A mechanical arm that lifts me in the air for a few feet and sprays orange scented air in my face. Worse still are the visuals the audience are subjected to. Once lifted into the air, we are shown images of godless california. I am convinced that this is what hell looks like.

4. Ant Man and Wasp: this ride is utterly joyless. Enough to make me miss waiting in line for 5 would rather sit in line for 2 hours, then in this theatre for two. The writing is so poor, the acting so bad, and the action so dull, I can barely stop from pissing my shorts

3. Avengers Infinity War: this travesty of a theme park ride sought to tell a story, with a sympathetic villain, and a tragic structure. Unfortunately, where the Hulk Roller Coaster Ride in Universal succeded, Infinity War failed. It had neither the quality of writing, nor the thrills, of the Hulk Roller Coaster Ride. Am I expected to believe that killing half of all life makes more sense then doubling resources? Especially since the infinity gauntlet has unlimited uses? What about overpopulation? While one alien species, like the chinese, may suffer from overpopulation, another, such as the japanese, may not. And even if you must reduce population, why not simply change fertility rates to slowly and gradually alter population over time? This will crash the universal social security market, true, but its still better then the alternative. The real slap in the face? The implication that thanos's plan worked. My verdict? Skip Infinity War, ride the Hulk Roller Coaster instead. Better writing, better pacing, and it delivers on its themes in a way that actually makes sense.

2. The Frozen Ride at Epcot. I admit that this is partly out of spite. Epcot used to have a culturally uplifting norse themed ride that taught children about badass vikings, and oil rigs. A ride for the more intelectual, art inclined theme park enthusiast. Sadly, as is often the case, this was replaced with a ride that appealed to a larger, family friendly audience. A Frozen themed ride that teaches children nothing. Atleast epcot remains the only disney park to sell beer every 5 feet. If I must ride the Frozen water Ride, atleast I can do it sloshed.

1. Avengers Endgame: somehow the sequel was even worse. It took the only potentially positive element of the last film, and completely undid it. Now thanos wants to eliminate ALL life, in order save life. Confused? Somehow it's even dumber then before. His self sacrificial nature has been replaced with a desire to become god. Also, the CG is very low quality, especially when compared to the Mickie's 4D adventure show in the Magic Kingdom.
 
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fOx

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I ain’t got 5, but the Gringotts ride at Universal was not worth the 3 1/2 hour wait.
To be fair, if im going to wait 3 and a half hours, that ride better give me a blow job. Hmm, I wonder what the wait are like during a pandemic...
 

SupahEwok

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To be fair, if im going to wait 3 and a half hours, that ride better give me a blow job. Hmm, I wonder what the wait are like during a pandemic...
I think Disney World was re-opening at 50% capacity, so I guess half, on average?
 

Drathnoxis

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Shouldn't a list of the 5 worst theme park rides consist entirely of the ones that have broken down and killed people?
 

SupahEwok

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Shouldn't a list of the 5 worst theme park rides consist entirely of the ones that have broken down and killed people?
Depends on your definition of "worst". As long as I'm not the one killed, why should I give a shit?
 

fOx

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Shouldn't a list of the 5 worst theme park rides consist entirely of the ones that have broken down and killed people?
No, these theme park rides are worse then the ones that have killed people, merely by the virtue of existing
 

Fat Hippo

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No, these theme park rides are worse then the ones that have killed people, merely by the virtue of existing
Are you saying the theme park rides that have killed people don't actually exist? It's all a big conspiracy to fool the public?
 

Drathnoxis

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Depends on your definition of "worst". As long as I'm not the one killed, why should I give a shit?
I would say the definition of the worst theme park ride is the least fun one, and I, personally, can't think of anything less fun than getting killed. I'm not trying to judge other people for what they find fun, mind.
 

PointlessKnowledge

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I would say the definition of the worst theme park ride is the least fun one, and I, personally, can't think of anything less fun than getting killed. I'm not trying to judge other people for what they find fun, mind.
Be honest, if a ride outright advertised that it would kill you, people would still ride it. Once.
 

Fat Hippo

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I would say the definition of the worst theme park ride is the least fun one, and I, personally, can't think of anything less fun than getting killed. I'm not trying to judge other people for what they find fun, mind.
That depends on how you're killed.
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fOx

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I would say the definition of the worst theme park ride is the least fun one, and I, personally, can't think of anything less fun than getting killed. I'm not trying to judge other people for what they find fun, mind.
Honestly, death sounds preferable to the above rides.