The 9th Circle Of Gamer Hell

ihax4snax

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Jul 26, 2011
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neonsword13-ops said:
Intentional Friendly Fire.

All day, Everyday. No Rage-quit. Just you, your teammates, and lots of bullets.
Yes, and everyone else playing is a twelve year old boy who has just learned what the word gay means.
 

the-kitchen-slayer

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Apr 16, 2008
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TheDooD said:
This is easy.... All the games you want, all the consoles and high end PC's to play'em on. Yet not a single power source in sight.
Agreed. That's worse than cutscenes and quicktime events for eternity
 

Gudrests

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Mar 29, 2010
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TheDooD said:
This is easy.... All the games you want, all the consoles and high end PC's to play'em on. Yet not a single power source in sight.
Someone is going to learn how to create energy arent they lol. Make a bike and ride it while you play son. GG YO
 

Fanfic_warper

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Jan 24, 2011
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For pc gamers, having no mouse or keyboard, just a game contoller crappily jerry-rigged to the pc

For the console gaming master race: only having an old Atari system and a copy of E.T the video game to play.
 

Abedeus

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Sep 14, 2008
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Poland.

You earn 1/4 of what they earn in countries to the West, you are treated like the countries to the East, you pay as much as Australians for games and you pay as much as Americans for hardware.

And you can get one in a thousand games in the original English language unless you find a shop in UK that ships to other countries.

And 95% of the Polish versions suck donkey balls and force you to download an English copy illegally.
 

Ldude893

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Apr 2, 2010
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Being on a desert bus traveling on a road in the middle of the Australian outback, forced to play an original copy of E.T. onboard with hands glued to the controller and earphones on your head with dialogue from English-dubbed JRPGs playing on a 2 hour loop. The bus is rigged with explosives that will trigger the moment you leave the game idle for more than 10 seconds.
Also, your entire vision feels like a cutscene that runs only 2 frames per second, the sun outside the bus is eclipsed by the giant disembodied head of Bobby Kotick, the bus driver is a stoic character model produced by Bethesda and far off in the horizon is a gigantic copy of Half Life 2: Episode 3 that seemingly gets closer but never does.
 

Srs bzns

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Feb 4, 2011
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usmarine4160 said:
I guess my hell would be living in Australia. My PC will start bugging out and then when I open it to check what's going on a platypus would jump out and stab me in the face.

Kinda like Peter Griffin and the raccoon.

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Wrong dude.

Platypi will beat you to death. It's the kangaroos that do stabbings. Where do you think the origin of the term 'jump' came from? ;P

OT:
Hell would be a series of games that start out brilliant and progressively get worse and more rushed, adding crappy gimmicks and bastardizing everything that was good about the original.
 

OldAccount

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Sep 10, 2010
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The last Catwoman stage in Arkham city where you need to take out Two Face but the fucking armed guards respawn. Seriously, I've been at it all day. How the fuck do I get past this part?
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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all games are 3 hours long ingle player

oh and driving...lots and lots of driving
 

darthotaku

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Aug 20, 2010
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a dystopian world where the game companies force you to jump through hoops at every possible point. you pay 60 bucks for a blank disk and then must pay ten for the levels and twenty for the cutscenes. you have no control over the game itself, to play you just hit the controls in the exact order the companies wish you to. there is no other way to play and they are all knock off call of duty games. and the worst part about this hell is that every single game must be online at all times.
and it always crashes just before you beat the final boss.
 

LooK iTz Jinjo

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Feb 22, 2009
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Dylan Sowers said:
Miles000 said:
Australia?

What is wrong with living in Australia.
I live here, and I love it here.

My hell would be living in the USA

OT: Only games ever released are cut/copy shooters.
There is only one THING wrong with Australia. His name is Michael Atkinson.
Nice Gears Of War you've got there Australia.
Atkinson plays no role in (South) Australian politics anymore. Australia's problems? Crap internet (This is slowly changing though) sky high prices (RRP for a game from EB is $109.99) and we always get the shit end of the stick from devs when it comes to releases, servers etc.

Personally, my hell would have every game made by Rockstar. Also motion controls and 3D would be integrated as a major part of every game.
 

Guffe

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Jul 12, 2009
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Gamers Hell... Living for eternity, without games?!!
Or are we talking about a game/gaming session that would be hell for a gamer? In that case... Cutscene every 5 minutes!
 

Alphonse_Lamperouge

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Oct 19, 2011
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kman123 said:
Dylan Sowers said:
kman123 said:
Dylan Sowers said:
Miles000 said:
Australia?

What is wrong with living in Australia.
I live here, and I love it here.

My hell would be living in the USA

OT: Only games ever released are cut/copy shooters.
There is only one THING wrong with Australia. His name is Michael Atkinson.
Nice Gears Of War you've got there Australia.
Atkinson is gone. Long gone. What's this about Gears of War?
Eh, my apologies, I'm a bit behind on foreign nation politics. And the Gears of War reference was for Germany, not Australia. Quite a few of my buddies aren't too happy about that.

OT: Every game ever, but no saving.
I also constantly confuse Germany for Australia. Damn those similar cultures!
Its easy, Germany is the country that every so often has pretensions of world domination and needs to be put down. Australia is one of the country's that puts them down, and then its citizens get to laugh and celibrate their victory with a nice ''subdued'' German beer (see what i did there?) comfortable in the knowledge that its male citizens have larger than average penis's than the rest of the western world :)

OT - my version of gamer hell would be finally unwrapping Skyrim, inserting it into the disk drive and then haveing Todd Howards face appear on my screen with that shit eating grin he wears when he teases out information. and thats it, no game, just his face wearing that knowing smile for all eternity
 

Smeggs

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Oct 21, 2008
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SomeLameStuff said:
No thumbs doesn't impact PC gamers.

I'd say being tied to a chair and forced to play Superman 64 / E.T.

OR having some fat guy walk in front of the screen every 2 minutes.
Well, other than being a bit tricker to hold onto the moouse and also now having to move your whole hand to hit spacebar and hotkeys to the left...

Oh, and I suppose getting arthritis or something. Depending on how desperate you are you would have to play through the pain.
 

Baron_BJ

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Nov 13, 2009
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Tonythion said:
All cut scenes and quick time events. Forever. For all eternity. Nothing else.
There's already a game that is exactly that:
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2008/05/13/fmv-hell-mighty-morphin-power-rangers/

Also I can think of a couple things that make Australia hell for "gamers" (I live here, I can attrest to this place being balls):

STILL no 18+ rating, though it is on the way.

Games cost between $90 to $110 each when new, despite the Australian dollar shitting on the US dollar.

No game servers are here so often our ping sits around 300-500MS.

With a population of around 22 million and only 1 million of those play games; if you want to play with others you better hope your game is popular because if you don't play during peak times then you're either going to be in a ghost town or against people who have pings that are much better than yours.

There are more, but you get my point.