The association for fair treatment of eldritch abominations.

[Thaluikhain]

So, hey, I'm human, but sign me up.

Still, do you have to be against japanese pron defiling your image? Tis a trope I'm rather fond of making fun of, would hate to see it go away. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's made at least a few people go insane, so, yay?

What I don't approve of is that it's always tentacle "rape". We eldritch abominations happen to be considerate lovers, thank you very much.

Yeah, weird that. Why is the fetish based on rape? There's nothing particularly evil about someone that just happens to have tentacles.

 

[Haagrum]

People, Ad-bots, and deep ones. We have been mistreated and misrepresented for too long.

Sure, we may be horrifying monstrosities incromprehensible to the human mind with unknowable motives, but that doesn't mean those motives are necessarily evil. Well, mine are, but that's not the point!

Does a commercial lawyer qualify as having reality bending powers and incomprehensible unknowable motives, if I can convince a tribunal that someone shouldn't have to pay for destroying a berth by ramming a ship into it, in the name of "justice"?

If so, sign me up!

 

[Chairman Miaow]

snip

I guess abominations can be bros too...

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

snip

I guess abominations can be bros too...

That's the spirit of love and tolerance, let us ask Almighty Daystar's views.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

What with being a detective in Victorian London I feel almost automatically obliged to be opposed to you. I will bring down your rein of terror eldritch abominations, even if I have to ally with the anarchist Brovengers or the top-hatted ruffians themselves!

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

People, Ad-bots, and deep ones. We have been mistreated and misrepresented for too long.

Sure, we may be horrifying monstrosities incromprehensible to the human mind with unknowable motives, but that doesn't mean those motives are necessarily evil. Well, mine are, but that's not the point!

We must fight for equal rights, at home, in the voting booth, and in the workplace. When have you last been served by a keter class reality bender in mcdonalds? That guy with the nose hair doesn't count.

That's another thing, why must we be locked away? We don't even get phone calls. Whether it's the SCP, or we need to "hold" something apparently, or we reside in a book that "was not meant for this world", if that's not racism, I don't know what is.

We, the unheard and unhearble minority, must stand up for ourselves. Or slither up for ourselves. As it may be. Or, maybe you are composed of a gas or merely live in someone's mind, ah it doesn't matter.

So, what are the requirements for joining said noble society?

Spoiler

Firstly, you must be an eldritch abomination. Analyse yourself. Do you have any mind/reality bending abilities? Do you look like cthulhu's back hair? Does having your morning tea/coffee improve that, because if so, you're very much human, that effect happens to all of them.

Then...well, that's pretty much it. Okay, I guess humans are allowed to join...with a few friends, bring them to the interview. No, they are not references. They are sacrifices. You should really know better, you ignorant bigot, we have needs!

And what do we do?

Spoiler

Well...what we do. I don't know your motives. They're unknowable! If I knew your motives, you'd be in the wrong association.

I guess we fight against prejudice. Get our people into political positions, with as little losses of sanity possible. Scratch that, it's politics, it can't get any worse. Stop the trend of japanese pron defiling our image, and raise awareness about our plight through humourous t-shirt campaigns. Again, as little sanity loss as possible. God that was a mess.

Feel free to submit suggestions, complaints. Just be aware to file your suggestions in normal, human english, and be aware undue complaints may be meant with THINGS YOUR MIND CANNOT COMPREHEND AND YOUR SOUL CANNOT SURVIVE. Refreshments available at the back, thank you for your time.

But we're already standing up for ourselves. Naturally you MUST have seen the sudden influx of "weird" threads these passed few days, who's work is that if not ours? I'm afraid though, if we unite, we may accidentally bring about an apocalypse, then what humans would be left to rule make friends with?

 

[Doclector]

What with being a detective in Victorian London I feel almost automatically obliged to be opposed to you. I will bring down your rein of terror eldritch abominations, even if I have to ally with the anarchist Brovengers or the top-hatted ruffians themselves!

...Okay, which one of you mind warpers made me see a mouse speak? It's all fun and games until one of us breaks another's mind, then we have a hallucinating ungodly monster to deal with, and it's not gonna be good for our image.

 

[Psychoninja7]

You know what? I may be human but I'm all for this! Racism is bad! Even against eldritch abominations that may or may not be trying to kill us. For eldritch abominations, you aren't bad! Wait... This is probably some form of mind control. I don't know.

*Shrug*

Well, it's good to see you have sensitivity to our cause, unlike so many humans...

This one suspects, keep several eyes on him...

I'm a woman. And now I'm a paranoid woman.

 

[Kolby Jack]

Eh, I don't put much stock in you "abominations." All you ever do is make posts on the internet and bask in the undeserved praise from idiots on the internet. I hear all these frightening tales of your madness, but you have yet to deliver. So either I'm as fearless as Batman, or you just lost your edge.

You guys are less threatening than Sasquatch. Sasquatch would probably destroy you if Teddy Roosevelt didn't already destroy them. And if Teddy did that to them... what will he do to you?

 

[Theron Julius]

I agree! Just because my physical form exists beyond the veil of time and space doesn't mean that my astral projection shouldn't be allowed in restaurants! They always say "Well you don't even really exist on this plane. Why would you need to eat?". Even if that's completely true and even if I can't even eat human food (I'm on a diet of the maddened thoughts of dying men) I still want to be able pretend to eat!

 

[Imthatguy]

I being a dark avatar of a being yet to arrive in our cosmos agrre with this group and support it's intentions.

 

[CommanderL]

As A wana be member of the brovengers I insist you stop this tomfoolery And go back to what ever dark holes you reside in ....you things

 

[Daniel Ferguson]

Am I Eldritch? Because I feel not a part of the human world called "Earth". It's like I'm invisible. People never notice me. But I'm there. Oh yes, I am there. Staring at them. *Watching* them. Completely unnoticed. Even machines periodically fail around me.

 

[Infernai]

I need to ask one obvious question of you: Why?

Why the fuck are we gunning for equal rights all of a sudden? I mean, Cmon! We're unholy abominations that are capable of tearing peoples minds apart just by staring at them for a few seconds, whose primary goal is the suffering of all mortal beings (Along with the procurement of hot chocolate in my case) and you want to be...EQUAL to these creatures?

You know, if you wanted to be treated right be these little gremlins you could just do what i do and utterly destroy their mental faculties to the point they only perceive you as a friend. Or just brainwash them. (Seriously, brainwashing people to run off cliffs to their demise just never gets old!)

WE are powerful, they are not! So, let's just do the right thing here and just continue with our usual policy of: Don't bother us, and we won't telekinetically rip your legs off and force feed them to you while we mind control your loved ones to kill each-other before your very eyes.

*shakes head* You know it's shit like this 'equality' stuff that we got stuck with Twilight..and i'll be damned if they make a story about a sparkling cthulu falling in love with a highschool student.

 

[Doclector]

Eh, I don't put much stock in you "abominations." All you ever do is make posts on the internet and bask in the undeserved praise from idiots on the internet. I hear all these frightening tales of your madness, but you have yet to deliver. So either I'm as fearless as Batman, or you just lost your edge.

You guys are less threatening than Sasquatch. Sasquatch would probably destroy you if Teddy Roosevelt didn't already destroy them. And if Teddy did that to them... what will he do to you?

Respect our rights to equal treatment like the true american hero (with an awesome mustache) that he is, I suspect.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Time for me to kill some Eldritch Abominations.

I mean, look at this monstrosity.

Spoiler: Nyarlathotep is hiding in human form!

I wish I were kidding, they are basing a cutesy anime series off an Eldritch Abomination... THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED!