The Father vs The Mother

[Luna]

I don't think she should necessarily be legally obligated to inform her husband/boyfriend that she's gone into labour, but when it comes to seeing his child, both parents have every right unless one is determined unsuitable by the Courts, I would hope for decent reasons like being a drug addict junkie/clinically insane.

 

[DrunkenMonkey]

There is absolutely no legal basis for a father to be called in when the mother is in labor, morally he lost a considerable access to those rights when he hesitated in his duties to being a father. This isn't the 19th century where a woman is completely tied down to the man of the house. Present day dictates that it's the mother's body and pain so she is well within her right to call whoever she pleases, and that's not a bad thing. Whether the decision will be regretted later is another story.

 

[aba1]

Ignoring the whole job thing and story the child is just as much his as it is hers and at the end of the day if he can prove he would provide a better living environment for the child then he would get custody. He shouldn't have to be dating the mother just to get access to the child it is just as much his as it is hers.

 

[Navvan]

EDIT: and it wasnt "a friend of a friend" I saw the child die(I saw the corpse, rather) with my own eyes, I woke to the screams of a negligent father. Dont you dare try to imply I am exaggerating.

I think the point of it was that it is illogical to generalize all cases like this because you happen to have experienced a horrible situation that had similar beginnings. Given the information (and I agree with you OP should have given more information) you have no reason to assume the father is negligent. It is just as likely that the mother is more negligent meaning leaving the child in her care is more likely to lead to a scenario like the one you experienced.

OT:

1. He doesn't have any right to be there when the child is born

2. Unless the mother is shown to be negligent in some way he will most likely have to pay child support and be given visitation rights.

3. If he seriously wants to make sure he is a part of his child's live, and the mother is truly uncooperative I would consult a lawyer to make sure he gets those rights. Also lawyers tend to give better law advice than a gaming site's forums.

 

[Little Woodsman]

Weeeeelll since i've never had a dad and in fact have never once seen him from second one and only learned his first name when I was eight fucking teen I think my answer is sort of obvious.

Y'know i'm waiting for him to try to contact me now that i'm out of the pesky bratty child stage, I bet there's a decent chance of it happening. It would give me a cheap laugh at worse.

As for the question, fuck it it's not my place to judge nor do I particularly want to. But fuck dads man. They suck. REALLY suck :3

I still don't get why people don't take the perfectly logical abortion in that situation. They're not ready for a child, probably never really wanted a child at this point to begin with, never planned for one and the home life is sketchy at best so why on Earth would you have a child when you have the option not to?

Y'know if my own mother had taken my own advice back then I would never have been around to type this. Fuck there goes my pro-abortion argument. It was looking so decent as well...

You have my deepest sympathy for not having had a dad.
But here's the thing.
I'm a single dad. To be absolutely clear, when I say that what I mean is that I am raising & providing for my child
by myself. And my little girl is more important to me than everything and everyone else in the whole
world put together. She is my everything.
And when I read "But fuck dads man. They suck."--do you have any idea how that made me feel? Because I really don't
have the words to describe it.
I'm sure it was not your intent to hurt me, or anyone else, but please also be aware that there are good dads,
and guys who were just sperm donors.
It sounds like your biological father was/is not what I would define as a real father in any sense,
and once again you have my deepest sympathies.
But *please* do not paint me with the same brush as him.

 

[The Wykydtron]

You have my deepest sympathy for not having had a dad.
But here's the thing.
I'm a single dad. To be absolutely clear, when I say that what I mean is that I am raising & providing for my child
by myself. And my little girl is more important to me than everything and everyone else in the whole
world put together. She is my everything.
And when I read "But fuck dads man. They suck."--do you have any idea how that made me feel? Because I really don't
have the words to describe it.
I'm sure it was not your intent to hurt me, or anyone else, but please also be aware that there are good dads,
and guys who were just sperm donors.
It sounds like your biological father was/is not what I would define as a real father in any sense,
and once again you have my deepest sympathies.
But *please* do not paint me with the same brush as him.

Dude I was joking. I'm sorry you took it that way, I should have added a few extra smileys or something

I would never be that ignorant as to seriously say there are no good dads ever. Now if my dad had actually done anything like say... Had a messy break up with my mum when I was 11, or cheated on her or some other stupid thing maybe that would have changed something


You don't need to feel sorry for me. You can't miss what you've never had as they say, fathers included in my case. I would only start to have an issue if he did try to waltz in after 19 years all "Oh son it's been ages, look at you. Sorry I was so stupid, we need to talk father to son."

I doubt I would react well if some guy started to call me "son" 100% seriously, to say the least.

Good luck with the whole child raising thing. 'S pretty cool XD

 

[Little Woodsman]

You have my deepest sympathy for not having had a dad.
But here's the thing.
I'm a single dad. To be absolutely clear, when I say that what I mean is that I am raising & providing for my child
by myself. And my little girl is more important to me than everything and everyone else in the whole
world put together. She is my everything.
And when I read "But fuck dads man. They suck."--do you have any idea how that made me feel? Because I really don't
have the words to describe it.
I'm sure it was not your intent to hurt me, or anyone else, but please also be aware that there are good dads,
and guys who were just sperm donors.
It sounds like your biological father was/is not what I would define as a real father in any sense,
and once again you have my deepest sympathies.
But *please* do not paint me with the same brush as him.

Dude I was joking. I'm sorry you took it that way, I should have added a few extra smileys or something

I would never be that ignorant as to seriously say there are no good dads ever. Now if my dad had actually done anything like say... Had a messy break up with my mum when I was 11, or cheated on her or some other stupid thing maybe that would have changed something


You don't need to feel sorry for me. You can't miss what you've never had as they say, fathers included in my case. I would only start to have an issue if he did try to waltz in after 19 years all "Oh son it's been ages, look at you. Sorry I was so stupid, we need to talk father to son."

I doubt I would react well if some guy started to call me "son" 100% seriously, to say the least.

Good luck with the whole child raising thing. 'S pretty cool XD

Thank you for clearing that up.
I should have realized that someone phrasing things like that here wasn't all serious. (^9
Internet brofist?

 

[The Wykydtron]

Thank you for clearing that up.
I should have realized that someone phrasing things like that here wasn't all serious. (^9
Internet brofist?

Just so you know, I NEVER post supah srsly. Even on serious topics and stuff, I actually make it a point to make things as light hearted as possible XD

Seeing as you asked for one, here ya go :3

 

[lord canti]

Ok I've known plenty of women who have worked well past three months in their pregnancy. So unless she has some sort of medical condition there is really no excuse for her not to work. On the other hand seeing how she didn't have a job to begin with there is really no point in getting one only to take maternity leave a couple months in. Sadly the father has no right to be in the room during labor. If I'm correct I don't believe the father has much right at all when it comes to children if this is wrong some one please correct me.

 

[Jubbert]

Get an abortion.

 

[mysecondlife]

I'm speaking from personal experience here.

I had a roommate whose story matched your brother's nearly to a T.

He abandoned her after getting her pregnant, and after the child was born, demanded to be a part of the child's life.

5 months after she allowed him to care for the child alone, that child drowned in a pool in the back yard while he was in his room getting high.


So no, I dont care if he wants to be part of the child's life. He abandoned her when she needed him, and he therefore abandoned all rights to oversee the child along with her.

I've already seen one child die from the negligence of such people, I cannot condone risking it again.

Woah!! Woah woah woah. Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?
'This sorta similar thing happened to a friend of a friend and one thing lead to another and now the kids dead. So clearly this means your brothers gonna be a negligent monster '

She was unwilling to look for a job whilst already 3 months pregnant? What a monster...

She was never willing to work. Before she got pregnant even. He was in college, and working a full time job. She literally worked on elaborate lies to fake going to work 4 days a week, and she would go downtown and hang out with her friends. I should mince less words, she was horrible. People seem to be under the impression that he left her when the goings got tough. He caught her in numerous lies, she contributed nothing to the relationship at all, and laid out guilt trips to keep him from ever leaving the house or even play games. Every moment had to be with her or it was a suicide threat with her.
Unfortunately society assumes that the man is always at fault in a situation like this. If a girl gets pregnant, is the man supposed to stay in an abusive relationship until the baby comes along?

And yet he stayed and knocked the girl up? Dude, your brother is insane.

I'd tell your brother to talk to the girls' family and reason with them. Explain his situation to them and explore options whether it is battle for child custody or ask for help in convincing the girl to find a job etc.

 

[TotalerKrieger]

Yea, an abortion would probably be best for everyone involved.

 

[mysecondlife]

You have my deepest sympathy for not having had a dad.
But here's the thing.
I'm a single dad. To be absolutely clear, when I say that what I mean is that I am raising & providing for my child
by myself. And my little girl is more important to me than everything and everyone else in the whole
world put together. She is my everything.
And when I read "But fuck dads man. They suck."--do you have any idea how that made me feel? Because I really don't
have the words to describe it.
I'm sure it was not your intent to hurt me, or anyone else, but please also be aware that there are good dads,
and guys who were just sperm donors.
It sounds like your biological father was/is not what I would define as a real father in any sense,
and once again you have my deepest sympathies.
But *please* do not paint me with the same brush as him.

Dude I was joking. I'm sorry you took it that way, I should have added a few extra smileys or something

I would never be that ignorant as to seriously say there are no good dads ever. Now if my dad had actually done anything like say... Had a messy break up with my mum when I was 11, or cheated on her or some other stupid thing maybe that would have changed something


You don't need to feel sorry for me. You can't miss what you've never had as they say, fathers included in my case. I would only start to have an issue if he did try to waltz in after 19 years all "Oh son it's been ages, look at you. Sorry I was so stupid, we need to talk father to son."

I doubt I would react well if some guy started to call me "son" 100% seriously, to say the least.

Good luck with the whole child raising thing. 'S pretty cool XD

So... there's no chance of 'this' ever happening...? >

(Seriously, I hope the baby will be well taken care of under the custody of the father, given everything the OP said is true)

 

[TheMann]

*snip* And the drama has gotten worse between them. Avoiding any possible personality smears, the mother has just announced today that she will not be calling him when she goes into labour, and she will refuse him any chance to support or be a part of his child's life.
Discussion questions
Is it legal for the mother to not notify the father in the event of labour, when he wants to be notified?
Should this be in the mothers rights?
What rights does the father have in this regard, if any?

Note: I live in Canada, so the legal systems may differ from your countries.

Well, here how this usually works in the United States. (I'm sorry but I'm not Canadian and am unsure of things there.) If it's anyway similar, here's what happens in most states:

The father does not have the right to be present at the time of birth, those in the unfortunate situation that your brother finds himself in just sort of have to suck that up. After the child is born, things become much more important. To claim parentage as a father can be tricky especially if the mother hates him. Basically, the simplest way for one to to establish himself as the father is to sign 'voluntary acknowledgement of paternity' on the birth certificate. Basically he is stating in writing that he, to the best of his knowledge, is the biological father and by extension would like legal rights in regards to custody and parenting. Now, if this woman is so spiteful that she won't even allow him to sign the birth certificate, then he has to get lawyer and take it to court to get a paternity test ordered. If that shows him to be the father, then any sort of joint custody will again have to be mitigated by the courts. Your brother will most likely have to spend a lot of time in family court in the coming years. It's shitty, but sort of the way these things go.

I have a friend who went though nearly this exact same thing (she was even the one who left him), and spent 12 years before he finally got custody of his daughter. And trust me, I knew this woman from my former workplace and can say in no uncertain terms that she is just a despicable human being. Like, to everybody. I didn't even know of their relationship so I can say this from a completely unbiased point of view. Still it took 12 years for him get proper custody. However, if your brother can show more financial stability and responsibility, that does help.

Your post actually piqued my curiosity for some weird reason, so here's a page I found for Canadian laws. [http://www.cba.org/bc/public_media/family/140.aspx]