The girl I asked out wants to bring her friend on our "date" tomorrow.

[Jacco]

I've been crushing on this girl all semester and I finally had an opportunity to ask her out now that school is done and she said yes. So we were going to go to the zoo and feed the animals (I know someone who offered to get us in for that). This has been planned since Monday. Well today she texts me and says her friend from out of town is here and she wants to bring her along too. It's not exactly rocket science what's going on here, but just humor me and give me your thoughts on the matter, please?

 

[Miyenne]

Go. Have fun. Don't hang anything up on the outing. Just because you may not come away with a girlfriend doesn't mean you won't come away with a friend or two, or a day well spent.

That's not to say she isn't interested in you. Maybe she's unsure and needs backup? Maybe she's just a shy person?

That she agreed to go somewhere with you says she likes you enough to give you her time. Just go with that and see what happens.

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

In my experience girls are sometimes more comfortable going out in groups than 1 on 1 right away, so I wouldn't try and avoid it. If you have another friend who might want to come invite him, that way not only does this girl not feel guilty bringing her friend along but you'll also have an easier time convincing her to spend a bit of the day with just you, since she wouldn't have to leave her friend all alone.

 

[Joseph Harrison]

Just bring a fourth person so the other girl isn't third wheelin it the whole time

 

[Entraboard]

That's great! She must really like you.

Her friend from out of town came in. I don't know about the rest of you, but if a friend from out of town visits me, I'll make damn sure to spend time with them... even if it means cancelling previous engagements because I can do all that other stuff some other time.
So if she ain't cancelling on you because her friend from out of town came in, that's a mega-win in my book. And something fun too, like the zoo. My brother always takes his first dates to the zoo... "bitches love animals" he says (short hand explanation, the long explanation goes into more detail, but that's the gist).
So the zoo is not only a great date place, but also great for out of town visitors.

You can impress two people for the price of one. And girls take the opinion of their friends apparently more serious than guys do when it comes to who they date [citation needed, google it yourself].
This is where the 2x1 deal on impressing people starts turning into a real bargain and a possible fast track.

Or... she's bringing her old BF along to make him jelly. Or maybe she's shy/unsure/socially anxious. Or maybe you should try to turn this into a group outing- to test the waters out, get a feeling for the dynamics. She can see what type of friends you have, because the company you keep speaks volumes on your character. And your friend can talk you up.

Not enough details to go by here, stranger.

But from what you do mention, I'm saying the future and it's possibilities are so bright, you better take some shades with ya'.

 

[NoMercy Rider]

I wouldn't worry about it, it is perfectly normal for women to bring a friend along on their first date. Sometimes women just want another person there, not because they are worried about you, but just that they want to gradually ease into the 1-on-1 dating format.

I think it also works well for them having a third party spectator to the date so that they can get feedback from the friend once the date is over on first impressions. As long as the friend isn't a *****, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. In fact it might work better for you since the friend could very validate to your crush her feelings for you.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Whatever her reasons for doing it, you should still go and don't worry about it. I'll second the idea that you should bring a friend of your own along and just make it a group activity, so the situation doesn't become awkward and the other person doesn't feel like a third wheel.

 

[Jacco]

So here's an update. I went to lunch with them and paid for both. Then went the zoo with her and her friend. Both of them were super nice and they seemed to enjoy themselves feeding the rhino and stuff. After, we hung out, saw the animals and stuff and they talked to each other a lot which left me in the cold for some of the time, even talking about their plans for the evening. Later I asked them what they were doing that evening and they said they were going to go drinking and invited me to come. I told them I would think about it and ended up saying I would but something came up and I didn't go.

The girl I asked out texted me at like 2AM saying she didn't see me at the bar. I took that as a good sign that she noticed my absence. Now I'm at an impasse. I think I'm going to ask her out once more and make it absolutely clear it is a date and that I want to date her. Her reaction to that will tell me what I need to know.

Any suggestions on how to accomplish that? What all that means?

 

[krmaml]

I dont understand why some girls do that. Its extremely annoying and juvenile.

My belief is that girls who bring their friends to date are usually not that attracted to the guy and just want to hang out and want a friend sort of guy. It basically screams they don't want anything sexual with you. If a girl is into you she would be wanting to get you alone.

Go ahead and see how it plays out. If she brings a friend again then get rid of her.

 

[Angie7F]

I agree with "Bring a fourth person (guy)"
You have to make sure that the girl feels comfortable for being able to bring her friend.
But at the same time you have to take advantage of it and be like "wow that is so cool. Do you think I can introduce her to XXX?"
That way it is still date-iss, but everyone can benefit from the possiblity of having fun, but with escape routes.

 

[manic_depressive13]

The girl I asked out texted me at like 2AM saying she didn't see me at the bar. I took that as a good sign that she noticed my absence. Now I'm at an impasse. I think I'm going to ask her out once more and make it absolutely clear it is a date and that I want to date her. Her reaction to that will tell me what I need to know.

Any suggestions on how to accomplish that? What all that means?

I'm not really sure how you can make it explicit that you want a date with just the two of you without it sounding like you resent the fact she brought her friend along last time. Just ask her out again normally, and if she suggests bringing someone along she is obviously not into you. The first time is understandable since she might have felt unsure, but more than that it's a pretty clear sign.

If she does want to bring someone again and you still think it might be a misunderstanding, then you can say "I was hoping it could be just the two of us," and see her response.