The girl you like is going out with someone better

Harbinger_

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Jan 8, 2009
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Officer Crayon said:
A girl that i really liked, is going out with someone out as of now. I was going to ask her about a month ago if she wanted to go out, but i was very hesitant. I knew that she liked one of my other friends. I also thought that she would be better with him than with me.
Im not going to put up a poll. I want to see reactions rather than just yes/no. have you ever experienced this?
You see this is a bit of a misnomer as far as I'm concerned. What makes this person 'better'?

It has happened to me, I've also had someone I was dating leave me for someone else. I understand that that person wasn't meant for me and that I will find someone that I'm interested in who is interested in me. Things like this happens and sure it sucks but you keep going.
 

gavinator93

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Mar 22, 2009
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the girl i like(ed) is going out with my best friend, but i couldnt think of anyone better for her so im fine with it.
 

AquaAscension

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Anyone else notice that the captcha's are glorified ad revenue?

On topic (sort of): seriously guys? Seriously?

I didn't read very many of the posts, but just stop. Just. Stop. You don't need to put yourself down in order to feel that all is right with the world. Stop justifying your loneliness with lines like "If she likes me, she must be insane." If you like someone, do something. Ask her out, flirt, jump, skip, be silly, do something to show that you're alive - that you have a heart worth hearing because it is absolutely full of love to lose.

Anyone here good at math? Computers? Video games? Me, I enjoy English, writing, poetry, martial arts, music, and the list goes on. But the point behind the list is not to brag, it's to put out this idea that one engages in activities which one likes to engage and that, only through time and practice, can one get better.

Just as it would be very difficult to run a marathon with no training, it is also very difficult to loan your heart out that first time - to take that chance, to beg for a glance, to seek a dance, but you've damn well got to do something.

Or as a much better poet than I once said, "In order to love life I must love living and live love like losing it would look like I have no life left to live. If I can give as good as I get then I have a gift worth giving."

Try it out sometime.
 

llew

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Sep 9, 2009
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dorkette1990 said:
Yes, this has happened and it made me incredibly sad. I was in a three person relationship (a guy, a girl, me), and I was falling for her - hard. I was already in love with the guy, and he decided he didn't want to date her, so he broke up with her for the both of us (at the time, he didn't want to share me, unless he was also with my other partner... different scenario now :D). She's dating someone else now, but she seems happier... and she deserves it. Doesn't mean I don't hate the guy and miss her, though.
strangely this sounds alot like what happened to one of the people i know, she was with a guy and a girl, the guy got the girl pregnant, and was only in it for the sex, and the girl was only in it for the guy, while the person i knew was only in it for the girl, it was one fucked up relationship and the guy was a total douche who (from what i could gather) wasnt even a good father when the child was born.
OT: i reckon if the girl i like gets with anyone they are always gonna be better than me, the only thing im any good at seems to be not caring, when i show i care things go to hell and when i try and do things they never go to plan so i hit the "fuck it all" stage
 

savandicus

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qazmatoz said:
savandicus said:
qazmatoz said:
Step one, don't believe anyone is better than you. No girl is going to be attracted to you if you if you go around thinking that you're the lesser man.
Oh I see so you think your better than everyone else? Well lar-de-dar mr.king of the universe, it must be a hard life being the the most intelligent, attractive, physically superior super being that you are!

(Please read that in the most ridiculous over the top sneering voice you can think of)

Seriously though, its not a sign of weakness to acknoledge that you are weaker in some areas than another person. Seeing someone better than you and striving for self betterment is one of the easiest ways that people grow as human beings, without other people to inspire us we'd be much worse off.

It is true however that looking at someone else, sighing and going well he's better for her is a terribly unattractive trait in anyone.
You misunderstood what I meant. I by no means think I'm better than anyone, but I don't view my worth in comparison to others. Are there people who are more skilled, more intelligent, more charismatic or charming? Of course, I'm not an idiot, but to say that these people are simply better than me is not how I choose to view things. I said to not believe anyone is better than you, as in to have a base level of confidence in your worth as a person, not to act like an almighty douche lord.
Ironically it was you who've misunderstood what i meant. My post was meant in a big light hearted jokey manner, the joke being to take 'dont believe anyone is better than you' completely out of context. Clearly i've failed at the joke writing and I shall try and write more obvious jokes in future to avoid cofusion.
 

elbrandino

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Dec 8, 2010
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Yeah I have. You have my sympathy. It sucks. As it turned out for me though, I eventaully got my chance and we've been dating for over two years now.
 

Suicida1 Midget

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Jun 11, 2011
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It has happend alot, wouldnt say they were better than me, differnt yes. But now i >_>
and move on, maybe go stick fighting to work it out.
 

Avistew

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Jun 2, 2011
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As long as you can make a clear distinction in your head between "they go well together, they're a better match" and "He's such a better person than I am and I suck", that's what really matters.
It sucks when someone you're interested in doesn't reciprocate. However, if she doesn't reciprocate, it's better that she has someone who's going to make her happy (or already making her happy) rather than being alone and miserable (she's allowed to be allowed and happy though).

If you can see past the "it means I failed somehow" to understand that attraction is random and not based on merit, and that it doesn't mean you're not worthy of her love, or love altogether, but simply that the dice rolls made it so she didn't feel that way about you... then you'll be fine. It's one of these cases where it's just about bad luck and nobody's guilty, so there is no sense blaming anyone (him, her, yourself). Just grieve properly, let it go and rebuild yourself.

And it has actually happened to me, yes. The "not interested in me" was the hard part. The "interested in her"... I didn't really care about. Then again it wouldn't have stopped me if he was interested in both of us so that's that.
 

Eggsnham

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Apr 29, 2009
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Officer Crayon said:
A girl that i really liked, is going out with someone out as of now. I was going to ask her about a month ago if she wanted to go out, but i was very hesitant. I knew that she liked one of my other friends. I also thought that she would be better with him than with me.
Im not going to put up a poll. I want to see reactions rather than just yes/no. have you ever experienced this?

These things happen. Yeah, it stings a little. But most relationships don't last too long, and if you still really like her after she's over the almost inevitable breakup, then you'll have another chance.

Thinking lower of yourself is a bad idea too, because it only ever holds you back. There are some men who tend to get women way out of their proverbial league, and it's more than likely because they don't worry about their appearance or social status, and just go for it.

It's easier said than done, but worth it in the end.
 

qazmatoz

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Sep 17, 2009
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savandicus said:
qazmatoz said:
savandicus said:
qazmatoz said:
Step one, don't believe anyone is better than you. No girl is going to be attracted to you if you if you go around thinking that you're the lesser man.
Oh I see so you think your better than everyone else? Well lar-de-dar mr.king of the universe, it must be a hard life being the the most intelligent, attractive, physically superior super being that you are!

(Please read that in the most ridiculous over the top sneering voice you can think of)

Seriously though, its not a sign of weakness to acknoledge that you are weaker in some areas than another person. Seeing someone better than you and striving for self betterment is one of the easiest ways that people grow as human beings, without other people to inspire us we'd be much worse off.

It is true however that looking at someone else, sighing and going well he's better for her is a terribly unattractive trait in anyone.
You misunderstood what I meant. I by no means think I'm better than anyone, but I don't view my worth in comparison to others. Are there people who are more skilled, more intelligent, more charismatic or charming? Of course, I'm not an idiot, but to say that these people are simply better than me is not how I choose to view things. I said to not believe anyone is better than you, as in to have a base level of confidence in your worth as a person, not to act like an almighty douche lord.
Ironically it was you who've misunderstood what i meant. My post was meant in a big light hearted jokey manner, the joke being to take 'dont believe anyone is better than you' completely out of context. Clearly i've failed at the joke writing and I shall try and write more obvious jokes in future to avoid cofusion.
Yeah, unfortunately sarcasm hardly works as well as you want it to over the internet.
 

WorldCritic

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Apr 13, 2009
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Yeah, it's happened to me. We tried a relationship once and unforseen circumstances brought it to an early end and she's going out with someone else now. Even though it irritates me though, I'm dealing with it, and I feel that I should be happy for her.
 

Mordwyl

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Feb 5, 2009
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Dreiko said:
Then become better and win her back, come on, what sort of man are ya!?
This is the real man's creed.

I've gone through quite a period in my life where I thought I wouldn't be good for anyone. Luckily that changed somewhat and from there on I started to respect myself as well as my potential. At the moment I'm still single for good reasons (girl I like is dating someone else and I'm moving abroad soon) but that will change eventually.
 

Abedeus

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Sep 14, 2008
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Kill him, then wear his skin as a t-shirt. She won't notice.

You can also consume his heart, to gain his courage. Delicious, juicy courage... *nomnomnom*
 

Con Carne

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Deshara said:
If you tell yourself that somebody else is "better" for her, then you don't deserve the girl. That's for her to decide, not for you.
I couldn't agree more.

OT: With an attitude like that, you're setting yourself up for a life of disappointment.
And yes. This has happened to me,(not that I think he's better.) and I got over it.
 

attackshark

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Nov 16, 2010
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look at it this way: if she's single, it's you vs. a million other guys. if she's taken, it's you vs. one guy.

think about it.
 

Free Thinker

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Apr 23, 2010
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"Better" is a vague term and I don't believe should be used to measure a person's worth...in terms of relationships. And yes, there have been multiple occasions for me where a woman I liked was going out with, or liked another guy. Honestly, with some therapeutic help, I've stopped blaming myself for things I can't control. So, I'm actually happy being single, and people see that. That happiness has actually landed me a date, so, it's not all bad. Just hang in there.
 

MrEMan

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This is going to sound harsh, but it's the truth. She does deserve someone better than you. She deserves a man who can openly display his affection and feelings for her. Learn from this mistake and become the better man.
 

Lyri

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Caramel Frappe said:
...What? I really did try- but.. I still can't see how I made it appear that women made the ultimate wrong choice. I just stated that if she goes for another guy then it's just her loss and the other guy should move on is all.. Mm.

I personally feel that you're very supportive of women spite that it's not always a good choice of their making in the first place. Guys and girls are equal, we're human and I know for a fact that guys screw up mostly and girls know better. But, girls can screw up too you know. It is sort of unfair that she choose the other guy because it may not be the best or right reason. Here's an example:

A guy was with this girl for 5 years. He really liked her, did a lot of things with her as close friends and he was very great overall. This girl was beautiful, talented, nice, and shared a lot of qualities with the guy. Yet, one day she dates someone else because she likes how much money he makes/how attractive he looks/how muscular he is spite being a douche. See, girls and guys don't make the best of choices because we're human aka 'flawed'. You're right that it's her choice to date who she wants, but sometimes her choice on who to date can be a downer or bad choice. As for me, love isn't a game.. .. because if it was then I would feel like a player (no seriously, it just makes me feel like a player if I see it that way.) lol sorry.
You've kinda done it again, you've gone and decide what is better for them in the long run.

I personally feel that you're very supportive of women spite that it's not always a good choice of their making in the first place.

Your argument is "That guy may be a jerk, I'm not. Why is he better?" That is what it boils down to.
Hence why you have that third paragraph I'm completely ignoring because writing a scenario like that doesn't help an argument at all.
What you described you can find in a dog;loving, sweet, very giving, overall sensitive to their feelings and highly devoted.
Dogs do this but women are not looking for dogs, they're (most anyway) looking for stability and security.

In all of your posts you never mentioned one thing; The females personality. You've just said "Their choice is bad because that guy is a douche" but you never really thought about or considered why it maybe she gets on with him or chose him.
The choice isn't one you made but you had decide you're better than another person already before she was in the equation.

All that aside, bad choices also make learning experiences. My Girlfriend made a bad choice and that lead her to meeting me,she even left me to go back to fix it with the other guy because she felt like she owed it to him to fix what went wrong.
She learnt a lot from those five months we separated and is stronger in herself because of it.
We've been together 2 years now.
It wasn't the choice I would have made, I was nice, kind, loving, very devoted and she still went back to him to try and fix it because of her surrounding influences and as prior stated her relationship made her feel like she should. (He was very intimidating and dominant)
However, it was the right choice to make.