The Ice Cream Theory

[Dr Red]

Hello Escapists! I've been in a relationship with a girl now for 15 months, and it is going well. I love her, she loves me, all is well and dandy. Although we're only 17, I'd like to think we both know that realistically, we won't be together forever. As much as it is nice to have a secure, loving relationship with someone the desire to "play the field" a bit is quite strong. Then I get worried though, envisaging some worn-out hedonistic Dorian Gray-esque future me being very unhappy if I don't put enough value on a loving relationship. Either way, I invented the ice cream theory. It's easiest explained through a dialogue:

What's your favourite ice cream flavour Raspberry ripple.

Was it the first one you tried? No.

How many flavours did you try before raspberry ripple 3 or 4.

Are you glad that you tried different flavours, and finally found one you really liked? Yeah.

/conversation

My point is that I think you need to have relationships with a few different people before you can decide that this person and relationship is 'the one'. Obviously, a person has feelings whereas an ice cream does not - trying a new ice cream (person) is going to upset them.

HAPPY TIEMZ

 

[Eisenfaust]

Ah, but if the only ice cream you ever ate ever again was raspberry ripple, don't you think you might start getting fed up with the old, worn out raspberry ripple flavour?

not to mention what happens if they take raspberry ripple off the market

 

[HentMas]

Ah, but if the only ice cream you ever ate ever again was raspberry ripple, don't you think you might start getting fed up with the old, worn out raspberry ripple flavour?

not to mention what happens if they take raspberry ripple off the market

and hey! if you somehow tasted just 3-4 flavors wouldn't that mean there are over 30 flavors you haven't tasted? what if you "like" Raspberry ripple, you enjoy it very much, you could say you wouldn´t think there would be any flavor that compares to it, but one day a friend is eating... "Pralines and cream" and gives you a taste... ITS MUCH BETTER THAN RASPBERRY RIPPLE!!!...

you think you love Pralines and cream, you really really think there could be no other ice cream better than that one......

BUT YOU DISCOVER "ROCKY CHOCO ROAD!" holly shiiii... ITS MUCH BETTER

and the same can be said about any flavor

until you taste as much as you want and one day, out of nostalgia or... whatever, you take again Raspberry Ripple, and remember why you thought it was so good... and decide its going to be the only flavor you take from then on

yeah, the ice cream "theory" (which is actually a metaphor) doesn't work really well.

 

[Nickolai77]

What if the raspberry ripple happened to be the first one you tried?

The way i see it, people have a set of personality traits and interests, and they are romantically compatible with a given number of other people with similar personality traits and interests. This of course varies from person to person, depending on how obscure or common your personality and interests are.

This of course means that there are tens of thousands of people out there whom to could be the "one" for you. The problem is finding and getting to know those people, many people don't get lucky and ever meet one of these tens of thousands of "ones".

 

[nunqual]

The first flavor of ice cream I tried was vanilla. Vanilla is my favorite kind of ice cream.. What does this mean?

 

[Uszi]

I would say you should put value in a loving relationship. If the going is good, then keep going.

The again, people change a lot from the time they're 17. I'm a totally different person than when I was at 17. I have different values, different out look on life, and I look for different things in partners.

As far as your analogy, I see what you're saying.

But then, I would never only eat my favorite flavor. I always switch it up.

So as someone else points out, I'm a bit polyamorous when it comes to ice cream. Which isn't exactly what I would advocate in terms of women. Pretty sure you'd piss your favorite woman off if you tried to explain to her that you were just a little bored and wanted to try a different flavor this time.

 

[Mariena]

By that analogy.. I've tried only one type of ice cream. I enjoyed it so much, and I'm still enjoying that ice cream very much, that I haven't had the *thought* of trying something else.

I've been eating the same brand and flavor of ice cream for the last 8 years.

..

I hope that didn't come out wrong.

 

[Hasido]

The first flavor of ice cream I tried was vanilla. Vanilla is my favorite kind of ice cream.. What does this mean?

that your avatar with a vageuly mundane looking person holding up a questionmark greatly sums up your comment.

OT: you know i had something i was going to say, but i lost it after staring into space for five minutes. imma go eat some mint ice cream

 

[Eisenfaust]

The first flavor of ice cream I tried was vanilla. Vanilla is my favorite kind of ice cream.. What does this mean?

that your avatar with a vageuly mundane looking person holding up a questionmark greatly sums up your comment.

OT: you know i had something i was going to say, but i lost it after staring into space for five minutes. imma go eat some mint ice cream

mint, eh? so you have an exotic love?

or were you actually talking about ACTUAL ice cream?

i'm "confused"... this theory seems problematic

 

[Esotera]

What happens with the flavours you don't like? Hopefully not the back of the freezer.

I'm not sure if the analogy's spot on..pretty much all ice cream is good, and that's not true of relationships. Also ice cream implies that a relationship is a finite resource with an expiration date. That aside, it works really well.

I've tried several flavours and didn't really like any of them, so I'm on a diet right now.

 

[SckizoBoy]

My point is that I think you need to have relationships with a few different people before you can decide that this person and relationship is 'the one'. Obviously, a person has feelings whereas an ice cream does not - trying a new ice cream (person) is going to upset them.

... What if one is lactose intolerant??

While I get where you're coming from, it seems a tad arbitrary. There are too many complexities and variabilities in the human psyche for you to be able to say for definite what it is fit for you. Moreover, you've sort of discarded individuality in that analogy (the general sewer dwelling detritus of society notwithstanding).

Besides, having dated a variety of people isn't really an indicator for the heralding of 'the one'. When you have 'the one for you', sure may the good times go on, but when the shit times rear their ugly visage, then you'll know whether you're right for each other. If you really are, then when life throws the pair of you in the crapper (as a pair, I hasten to add), you'll pull yourselves out, look at each other and wonder 'where the hell were you during the first X years of my life?'

 

[Whateveralot]

Not really. It just needs to work. You need to leave enough space for each other to develop in any direction the significant other desires to develop in. If this is away from you, then that's a sad thing. If that prevents it from working out, it ends.

If you don't give each other enough space to develop in any direction, it's doomed from the start.

A healthy relationship allows both people to grow. If it doesn't stop "working out", that's a good thing. You don't need multiple relationships. Obviously, if you want to play the field, at least be gentle about it. Don't chat up to other girls with the intention of leaving your current girlfriend for someone else. If you want to end your relationship to play the field, end the relationship first. Else you'll leave the significant other in a nasty position.