The old belt (Parents using violence to correct you)

Aurora Firestorm

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The OP really needs to distinguish between "smacking" or "spanking" and "beating." Beating, when I've ever heard it, refers to repeated harsh hitting that constitutes child abuse. So that was the first image I got here: is child abuse okay?

Anyway, semantics aside, I was spanked as a kid. It sucked, but y'know, pain sucks, and I'm pretty sure I hated the mental pain of getting reprimanded more than I hated getting spanked. (I was one of those OH NO YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED IN ME THE WORLD IS ENDING kids) Still, it taught me really quickly that Parents Are To Be Respected. I agree with Xanian that part of the key is, don't do it out of hate or maliciousness, do it out of "look, this is what will get your attention." Don't be emotional about it.

Caveat: I don't like kids and never want them, so I'm probably not the best to answer, but the Internet is all about giving opinions, so here goes. I think that in general, pain is a very good teacher. It is a fundamental biological trigger that tells your body to quit doing what it's doing -- see how you put your hand on a hot stove and really regret that a moment later. When you yell at a person, or try to have a discussion, they can argue. If your goal is to get them to listen to you unconditionally (don't punch your brother in the face, let's say, because in 99.9% of cases this is a terrible idea), then you don't want to give someone a chance to argue or fight back. Associating "bad thing" with "pain" seems like a pretty good way of conditioning someone to never ever do a bad thing. You can't argue with pain, and it invokes the primal response of "stop now." Hell, I went to a school where the kids were Paragons of Morality because the principal had an old wooden paddle and everyone seriously believed that he was going to use it. (Not sure when the laws against that went on the books, so it could have been very much true. Anyway, it was effectively true because everyone believed it.) It honestly really did work.

Of course, as even cats demonstrate, the solution to this for the punished person is to just do it when no one's looking, but that applies no matter what method of punishment you use. Eh.
 

Dragonborne88

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I'll be honest, my family, when I was being a little misbehaving bastard, would spank, hit me with a belt, etc. I never felt any hatred towards them because of it. Usually I was being REALLY bad and deserved it. I turned out fine. I'm a pacifist, who will only fight if I have no other option, I'm well behaved, I'm good with people.

Flat out BEATING your kid is wrong, but using it as discipline I see nothing wrong with. Depends on how it's done, of course. You can't use discipline only as the only method of teaching your children, you need to use a mix of reward/punishment to get the behavior you want.
 

Nachtmahr

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Fagotto said:
Farseer Lolotea said:
Fagotto said:
This, a thousand times, this. This is real evidence, all the other side has shown in this thread so far have been personal anecdotes, that could easily be biased.
Gotta wonder about the people all but bragging about how they got beat as kids, and how they turned out just fine. I'm sure I could share a nice little dysfunctional anecdote of my own here...but I'm not going to.
Yeah, it used to surprise me, but after seeing a few topics like this before it doesn't really anymore. Personally I just barely recall possibly getting some light physical punishment when I was younger, but I don't see it as something to brag about. I find how quick people are to support it somewhat disturbing though.
This. I also find myself feeling a little disturbed reading this thread.

Both my parents always thought hitting children in any way to be barbaric, that includes so called 'smacking'. Both my brother and I are perfectly successful adults, despite being spoiled by our parents and never being physically disciplined.

On the other side, my best friend used to get what you people call a reasonable smacking from her father and later in life she burst into tears when he so much as raised his voice at her.
 

Ben Legend

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I think its right for a parent to discipline a child by smacking them on the bottom, it works and prevents them from misbehaving in the same way. When used correctly it helps to bring up a better child and won't affect them mentally. (I should know, I was smacked on the arse and so were my brothers and we're all fine.) The problem occurs when parents take it to far or when children are smacked by people who are not relatives.
 

Brandon237

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Xpwn3ntial said:
I am in full support of physical discipline because there is nothing more humbling than pain.

On an eight-year-old kid who believes him/herself invincible, a smack upside the head can be rather effective because it tells the child they are not in charge.

On a 14-year-old, not so much. A more subtle method is required.
Agreed, at a young age most children don't even understand other discipline, they simply ignore threats and the like, there is no reason in their minds to do or not do something unless they know it will hurt later.

Only once a person has matured enough will they respond to other punishment and discipline properly. If they knowing doing something leads to pain, they instinctively won't do it.

I was klapped a few times as a kid, and while I did not like it one bit at the time, I think it was certainly for the best.
 

Reman Khaar

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I've only briefly skimmed through the latter half of this thread, so forgive me if someone has already brought this up, but I can tell you from personal experience that -beating- your children(your father slamming your face into a wall and breaking your nose because you dropped a fork at the dinner table) and physically punishing them for being an ignorant retard(tearing that ass up with a leather belt because you graffiti'd the school) are two entirely different things, and people should take care to ensure that they point this out. Every post that I came across in this thread didn't seem to make a differentiation between the two. Not all physical punishment is a beating, and not every beating is punishment.

Aside from that, yes, yes it should. Physical punishment is, when administered properly, a perfectly acceptable, and often the best form of, discipline. It makes your survival instincts kick in and conditions your brain to avoid the behavior that resulted in the punishment, and you only need look at the slime that is the majority of teenagers these days to see what happens when you avoid it... Rude, arrogant, self-centered, delusional slime with an undeserved sense of entitlement... Ugh. -_-
 

Jon Shannow

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If me or my brothers were out of line my dad would tell us calmly to stop it. The he'd raise his voice, if we still didn't listen then he'd smack us across the back of the head. And it worked, after the first couple slaps we ended up stopping it when he asked calmly. The only time he ever properly hit one of us properly was when my older brother who was 14 shoved over my 8 year old brother, who hit his head of a stone step and ended up getting taken to hospital for several stitches. It wasn't a big hit or anything, my dad just slaped my older brother straight in the face and told him never to do it again.
 

RanD00M

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I find that you don't need to spank kids. Waving the gun around does the same job.

OT: I find that a slight beating is something needed to keep some kids in line. But then I one of those guys that laughs at dead baby jokes and watches Youtube videos of kids in pain for my own enjoyment.
 

Jacob Haggarty

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Speaking as someone who quite regularly got a bit of punishment for actions, i honestly have no problem with a child having some physical punishment. I mean, i got soap in my mouth if i swore when i was 5, and by god it worked... sort of... until i was old enough to learn that despite my parents condeming swearing, they were particularly sharp of tounge themselves.

But when i was a nipper, i did not swear. I wouldnt go NEAR the word "damned" until i was about 8.

Want to know the best bit? I still love my parents. All it taught me was that swearing is wrong, and that i shouldnt do it. I didnt walk away feeling rejected, or un-loved. I just walked away blowing bubbles and crying, with a strong urge to NOT swear in the foreseable future.

So yes. I am fully in favour of a little discipine. Obviously not a BEATING, god no. If you hit a child for no reason, or because your frustrated and they did something a bit annoying, then frankly, you're going to whatever you call hell.
 

kromify

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if you've reached the point where you need violence to control your kids then it's not going to help them or you

i once saw a mother trying to discipline a screaming toddler. the tot smacked out at her, and which point she yelled "do not hit me" in his face and whacked him one. effective, no?
 

Arehexes

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Dragonborne88 said:
I'll be honest, my family, when I was being a little misbehaving bastard, would spank, hit me with a belt, etc. I never felt any hatred towards them because of it. Usually I was being REALLY bad and deserved it. I turned out fine. I'm a pacifist, who will only fight if I have no other option, I'm well behaved, I'm good with people.

Flat out BEATING your kid is wrong, but using it as discipline I see nothing wrong with. Depends on how it's done, of course. You can't use discipline only as the only method of teaching your children, you need to use a mix of reward/punishment to get the behavior you want.
Seems we were cut from the same mold, same story for me here man.
 

Magicman10893

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Hobo Steve said:
Its quick, its effective and it works.
Not hitting your kids just turns them into spoiled little cunts who think they are invincible.
If you love your kids, beat them.
This. When I was a little bastard my parents smacked my ass until I learned, "Oh. I'm not supposed to do that." Randomly attacking your kid and punching them just to keep them in line isn't the answer, but if they do something really stupid of the own accord, you should beat the shit out of them with a belt until they learn to never do that again.
 

zeldagirl

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JacobShaftoe said:
Wow. I'm discussing this topic with my girlfriend at the moment, as our child was born only a handful of weeks ago. For all those people who state that you have to hit kids to stop them growing up to be in some way defective, I ask them if they understand and respect science as a concept?

Many studies on this topic, with humans and domestic animals, same results all round. Violence = confusion; respect and teaching/offering alternate behaviors = understanding and conclusively positive results.

The ridiculous notion based on the whole "It happened to me and I turned out fine" concept disregards so many other factors. Lots of people go to war and see/do horrible stuff, and only SOME of them get PTSD, ergo all that come back okay can say the same.

In conclusion: Violence is a crude blunt instrument, whereas language can be as precise as a scalpel, and these are childrens minds we're attempting to operate on...
This is a great post! Completely agree!


Amphoteric said:
Supernanny doesn't need any form of violence.
Aaaaand this is an even greater one.


I saw a comment (well, a few actually) about kids being 'little shits' this generation. And I'm sorry...kids have ALWAYS been that way. They're kids! It's a learning process. Any sense of entitlement in kids doesn't come from not spanking them, it comes from our society in general, which has moved to this ideal of needing instant-gratification at every second, and this continues to be so with our new development of technology. It's not just kids who feel this, adults do too. It's easier, though, to point at children and say they reflect all the problems wrong with our society, so something must be wrong with *them*. They are the entitled ones - it's not that they are a reflection of *us.* Nope.

C'mon people. Spanking your kid, no matter how disciplined or non-violent it may seem, is still an aggressive behavior that many (if not most) agencies have determined is not the most effective parenting method (as has already been pointed out in this thread multiple times). There are far more effective methods of discipline and teaching for which parents should strive.
 

lee1287

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my mum smacked me on the bum when i did something wrong. I Turned out fine, she hasnt done the same with my brother, he's a little shit. Enough evidence for me, maybe if more parents took control of there kids, England woldnt be such a shithole.
 

FieryTrainwreck

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lee1287 said:
my mum smacked me on the bum when i did something wrong. I Turned out fine, she hasnt done the same with my brother, he's a little shit. Enough evidence for me, maybe if more parents took control of there kids, England woldnt be such a shithole.
I can't speak directly to your situation because I don't know you or your family, but a lot of people confuse correlation with cause and effect.

Good or bad, spanking qualifies as "taking an interest in your child"; the parent obviously cares enough about his or her child's behavior to exert physical and mental energy. What kids need, more than anything, is attention, and it may very well be that bad attention is still better than no attention.

That's not to say you couldn't achieve superior results with alternative methods. The fallacy is in assuming every kid who turns out rotten wasn't spanked. Maybe he or she simply wasn't parented at all. More than anything, legitimate presence is what makes a difference in a kid's life.