The other side of "Girls only date jerks"

[Padwolf]

Why don't you try just being a confident nice guy? I'm a girl, I don't date jerks. My boyfriend is a confident nice guy. You don't have to be a doormat. You don't have to cleverly insult women, just be nice. Just be who you want to be, if you aren't happy being a douche, don't be a douche! Pretty darn simple. Just be as you said, confident in your looks, confident in yourself. Be nice! Being nice does not equal being a doormat.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

It?s not about just being an arrogant jerk, it?s about confidence. And most arrogant jerks have boundless confidence, which is why many women are attracted to them and can, perhaps, overlook their flaws. Although sometimes, it doesn?t matter how confident you are: if you?re an ugly fuck, then most girls won?t want to have sex with you. You?ve just got to be born with the right traits. It can go the other way round too, contrary to popular belief. I guess the only exception is that a shy girl - or most girls, for that matter - can still get laid if they're at least average-looking and maybe throw on some revealing clothing. But if you're an absolute *****, you'll either get called out as a "slut", or be getting laid by actual "jerks" like you, or shy and/or desperate losers without a backbone.

But I don?t get why you ?hate it?, though. Once you?ve "suckered" a girl into your ?jerk? persona, then you can reveal more about yourself to them. If they actually still like you and you still exhibit some confidence, they?ll still want a relationship with you, on top of the sex.

As for my personal experience, I have an acquaintance who has no trouble getting laid. But he doesn?t brag about it. The reason that he?s able to pull women so easily is because he?s so confident, charismatic, and ballsy about the whole thing. I?ve seen him literally walk right up to a girl that he barely knows, put his arm around their shoulder, and casually and suavely say, ?Hey?do you wanna have sex with me?? And that was on a fucking dare. I?ll honestly say that if I was gay or a woman, I?d fuck him. Also, he plays the drums. Girls love drummers. Or so I?ve heard.

People forget women aren't logical too much. Hell, people aren't logical most of the time. But women? Especially them.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? This has to be the second time within a few days I've seen someone insisting women are less logical than men. It makes me want to shit in my pants.

Shit in your pants? That doesn't sound logical. We have proof, men of the world!

Just kidding. And I think he was too.

 

[manic_depressive13]

That must have been the first time a self proclaimed manic depressive has asked me that question.

Anyway, it was just a bit of the old "Hehehe, women right? Right guys?" Nothing more, nothing less.

If you actually want to get technical, it is actually common knowledge women are more emotional than men. This has been proven too. It should not, however, be taken at face value. What this ends up meaning is that a women is much more likely empathize with others when confronted with their problems, while men generally switch off and go into problem solving mode. Both are great qualities to have and one shouldn't make one state of mind inferior to the other (in this case anyway).

So, calm down. No need for any shitting. Or just keep fuming over something so insignificant, I don't really care either way.

Sadly enough it wasn't even you the last time. This is the second time from two seperate people within two days that someone has come out with that bullshit. And it is bullshit. Annoying bullshit. And I would like to ask you to stop it, please.

 

[Krantos]

So why not try being a confident nice guy?

Because for too many people being "nice" means being a doormat.

Which is the entire trick.

"Nice guys" that are doormats allow that sort of thing because they don't have enough respect for themselves.

Pro tip: You can still stand up for yourself and be a nice person. It's all about how far you're willing to give, and recognizing when someone is pushing you too far.

Confidence is more than how you present yourself, it's how you see yourself. If you let people push you around because you're futilely looking for confirmation or appreciation, you're not really confident at all.

 

[nolongerhere]

Yep, I'm sure this isn't some bullshit self-congratulatory fantasy about how the only reason you can't get a date is because you're just too good a person. This definitely happened. Women don't like attractive people, confident people, funny people, and they definitely don't ever just want to fuck some guy at a party. No, they only go for assholes. That's the obvious explanation.

 

[manic_depressive13]

If you actually want to get technical, it is actually common knowledge women are more emotional than men. This has been proven too. It should not, however, be taken at face value. What this ends up meaning is that a women is much more likely empathize with others when confronted with their problems, while men generally switch off and go into problem solving mode. Both are great qualities to have and one shouldn't make one state of mind inferior to the other (in this case anyway).

Now, if you can prove this is bullshit, I beg you, please do, because that would mean I am terribly misinformed.

But if not, stop wasting my time and your time.

Oh dear, this is embarassing... From your own links too...

Research by Associate Professor of Psychology Ann Kring found that women aren't more emotional than men, they are just more expressive of their emotions.

Also, since you men are so fond of logic, I would like you to explain to me how you can deduce that women are less logical than men from the premise that women are potentially more empathetic and more likely to show emotions due to gender roles.

 

[Shock and Awe]

Will I ever see people stop whining about this crap? Women are not attracted to jerks; they are attracted to CONFIDENCE. Seriously, its not that hard to figure out guys. If you act CONFIDENT your chances with women goes up. I am tired of guys blaming their problems on the opposite sex. Its really old, and its pretty pathetic.

 

[Zantos]

I think this thread is really winding down, what needs to be said has been. You're more physically attractive and confident and more women like you for it, if you can maintain that without the insulting to be funny and being obnoxious even more probably will.

Yep, I'm sure this isn't some bullshit self-congratulatory fantasy about how the only reason you can't get a date is because you're just too good a person. This definitely happened. Women don't like attractive people, confident people, funny people, and they definitely don't ever just want to fuck some guy at a party. No, they only go for assholes. That's the obvious explanation.

I posted recently in another thread about how in the black and white text of the internet doesn't convey subtleties of speech, and if you want to convey an idea you really need to think about how you write it and push that point. This is a textbook example of how to do that. I'm going to write a textbook just to put this in it.

There's a downward spiral kids, it starts with you believing you're not self-confident, which makes you lose your confidence, that makes it hard to talk to people, that makes your confidence drop, repeat ad nausum. Confidence is a state of mind, and contrary to popular belief it can be achieved without being a jerk.

 

[Sgt. Dante]

confident nice guy

Does not compute.

Hi nice to meet you, confidence without being a douche-bag is simply being a gentleman.

Anyway, I asked a girl who always complained that the guys she dated were so horrible why she dated them. She said that they pissed her off so much that she couldn't stop thinking about them and just went out with them because of it.

No part of that is logical. Not a single part.

But yeah, unfortunately confidence is so often douchebaggery these days that the only time people see it in people is when they're jerks. A lot of women I know in that situation don't realize there are nice guys out there with those qualities and a lot of guys like that I know don't realize they don't have to be a jerk to be confident.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Not embarrassing, just rather unfortunate phrasing on my part. Not to bust out the old "That's what I meant all along", but... Yeah. It is what I meant.

Naw, you're just being inexpressive. That's alright. My hightened levels of empathy allow me to be embarrassed on your behalf.

 

[Phasmal]

You became a `jerk` to get women?
Lol.
I thought that only happened in shitty movies.

Also, if you changed your entire behaviour and acted like a jerk to get sex, you were kind of a jerk all along.
If you changed your entire behaviour and are now bitching that those women don't know the real you, you only have yourself to blame.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I decided I would attempt to garner the interest of women by becoming a "jerk". I exercised heavily, dressed flashy, and scrutinized my appearance down to the fine details. I began walking with my shoulders back and head held high. I would say to myself "You're king shit dude - everyone wants your attention" whenever I went into social situations. My conversations with women consited of me trying to come up with clever insults that bordered on demoralizing/funny while trying to continually act like I was filled with boundless energy by talking loud and obnoxiously.

The results: It worked. And I hate it. Seriously, it's almost depressing. I'm not the type of guy who really wants to have sex constantly. I like deep conversations and would readily share insecurities if it would give me a greater perspective on life. I can't be who I am, though. I have to be a dominant, borderline rude douchebag to get any attention. It's shallow attention at that, too. I've yet to share any meaningful events with the women I've met. None of them really know me.

I take a step back and get sort of sick knowing that I'm just playing a game intended to produce offspring. I see who I am pretending to be and it's totally pointless. Maybe I take life too critically, but I don't see how a lasting relationship like marriage can come from the stupidity that dating appears to be in our culture.

It sounds like you've discovered that people with low self-esteem are easier to impress.

Out of interest, what are you interested in-in life? And where are you going to meet these women? If there's a logical inconsistency between these 2 things...you're fucking up in such an obvious way.

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

I can happily inform you that the technique does not work on all women.

After you have given a lady the full works, if she yells at you, slaps you, stomps on your toes, kicks you in the balls, knees you in the solar plexus or sprays you with eye-stinging liquid, then yeah, you should marry that one

A knee in the solar plexus sounds very impressive.
Then again, I know a girl who could and would deliver one if a guy insulted her, so yeah.

Just be confident and nice and you'll probably, I dunno, attract a girl who actually wants to talk to you. I get the feeling being a jerk makes them interested in fooling around but not, y'know, actually doing anything social with you.

 

[Macgyvercas]

You became a `jerk` to get women?
Lol.
I thought that only happened in shitty movies.

Also, if you changed your entire behaviour and acted like a jerk to get sex, you were kind of a jerk all along.
If you changed your entire behaviour and are now bitching that those women don't know the real you, you only have yourself to blame.

I think it was more of a social experiment than an outright attempt to get laid. That's what I took away from it, anyhow.

Sorry, still tired, can't brain.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Yeah, women only want the "nice guy" who fades into the background and cares about their feelings when they are settled and have kids to take care of. Until then it's social status and fitness that they respond to. Welcome to human biology.

 

[Phasmal]

I think it was more of a social experiment than an outright attempt to get laid. That's what I took away from it, anyhow.

Sorry, still tired, can't brain.

Manipulation is manipulation.
Doing it just to see if it works doesn't really make it a whole lot better, imo.

Also, inb4 people make massively uninformed and generalising statements about women.
Oh wait.
Too late.

 

[Bad Jim]

I think you should be more scientific about it. I would have expected:

exercise + well dressed = more girls
chatting up more girls = more girls
insulting/being rude to girls = less girls

Now it's quite possible that all of those are true but you gain more by looking good and chatting up lots of girls than you lose by insulting them. What happens if you keep looking good and ask lots of girls for sex but don't insult them? What happens if you keep insulting girls but stop the exercise/preening and stop chatting them up? What happens if you neither exercise nor act rudely but still chat up every girl you see?

You've proven nothing.