The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl

Robert Rath

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Oct 8, 2010
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The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl

Knowing nothing about games can open your mind to their possibilities.

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hickwarrior

a samurai... devil summoner?
Nov 7, 2007
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Now that's the most logical way a relationship would exist. You both are interested in who you are, rather than what you want the other to be. I can definitely see how that works.

And that's quite interesting. I guess because I've been playing games for so long and since it's one of my true passions in life, I think people would hate how I would talk about games. Mainly, through how the game is amazing due to how it plays. I think I'll have to shift from it and just pick a story I had about it. Mostly though, I have a feeling people don't care about it, which might be because of where I talk to them about it. But enough waxing on that particular thing.

Anyway, congratulations on the wedding.
 

Tombsite

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Nov 17, 2012
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Might need to visit a dentist after such a heavy dose of sweetness :p

But in all seriousness: Congratulations. I do not know if this means anything coming from a complete stranger but I wish you and your bride to be all the best and truly hope that it will last through for better and for worse and so one. Sounds like you have found a great person to share your life with, and the fact that you are not on a mission to convert her makes you even cooler in my book.
Should probably also comment on the entire point of your article but that will have to wait (gotta go find a toothbrush :p)
 

Kinitawowi

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Nov 21, 2012
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1) The heartiest possible congratulations on your pending nuptials, sir.

2) You've hit on an incredibly lucky thing - somebody outside of the gaming sphere who is willing to both talk and listen about them. The problem most gamers have with non-gamers is the feeling that non-gamers not only don't play games, but don't want to have anything to do with games. They're not interested enough to ask as intelligent a question as that which Danielle asked you (I think I side with you on this one, but that may be because I lean more towards the JRPG type than the sandbox AFGNCAAP projection models), and they certainly don't want to hear about the nuances of story and plot and gameplay and historical implications and all that it entails and everything that lies beneath the superficial surface. Gamers want people outside of gaming to be willing to listen to them, to explain why the Jack Thompsons of the world are misrepresenting their hobbies.

In short, you are an incredibly lucky man and Danielle is an incredibly lucky woman.

3) I've never played Angry Birds either.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I'm not sure why that struck you as such a profound question. It's asked a lot by gamers on the interwebs.
 

Imp_Emissary

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Congratulations Rath! ;) I hope you don't stay insane after the wedding.

Another great article. Gave me some things to think about. I will try and remember some of the ways to talk about games you spoke of when talking to non-gamers about games.

That one thing about different countries and their level of violence vs. how much they play games, I actually saw someone use that before. I think it was Nancy Pelosi. She was asked about the whole "do video games make people want to be violent?" thing. Specifically using guns. She talked about how Japan has some of the highest sales of violent video games, but has far lower gun violence. Then suggested that this may be because they have more enforced gun control laws.

Thank you for doing this article.
:) My you and your love have happiness always.
 

PedroSteckecilo

Mexican Fugitive
Feb 7, 2008
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When I got married having a "videogame wedding" just seemed a little... tacky... that's not what I or my wife wanted, we went with something classy that also spoke to us as people, we went with a "book" theme, the center pieces were pretty old books, we lucked out and found a cheap numbered encyclopedia set that we used to mark tables... we also drank a hell of a lot of booze...

It was awesome.
 

theETG

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Oct 2, 2012
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If there's one thing I've learned from Jim, it's that there isn't a "perfect gamer girlfriend". Only perfect gamer girlfriend*s*.

Wait...

(Congrats!)
 
Jan 12, 2012
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"Why are fantasy and sci-fi settings more prevalent than historical ones? Does the type of game shape online interaction, and how? If everyone's tired of Call of Duty, why does it sell so well? Are there any comedy games?"

All excellent questions, and ones we expect full columns on over the next couple weeks. No honeymoon for you!

(But congratulations on the wedding. Hope everything goes well, and we'll wait patiently for your return).
 

Zombie_Moogle

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Dec 25, 2008
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Congrats on the wedding. Best wishes to you both

I can identify with this, to a degree. My significant other & I are both gamers, but circumstances have made her a true connoisseur of retro console gaming, while I'm more current with heavy leanings toward the indie scene. We both share our love of gaming with each other, but from incredibly different perspectives, which leads to an unusual level of insight between us

It's the differences that make any relationship unique & special (yup, just gave myself diabetes)
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

books, Books, BOOKS
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Congrats on your up and coming nuptials dude!

I know I've talked to some of my friends that have no interest in games at all and they ask me questions that make me have to think critically about why I like or dislike something. Even challenge why I did a certain thing in a game if and when that gets brought up, or if something hits the news and I get asked about it.

Zachary Amaranth said:
I'm not sure why that struck you as such a profound question. It's asked a lot by gamers on the interwebs.
I've gotten into conversations like that with other people that play games as well, so maybe I'm just used to engaging with people about that. I will say the first time I talked to someone about that I didn't know how to answer since it was something I never considered.
 

RandV80

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Oct 1, 2009
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Yeah I have the same kind of deal going on, except I rarely need to talk about video games because my missus is a chatterbox and can go on endlessly. Which is perfectly fine for me, being the quiet type I'm happy to just sit back and listen.
 

anonymity88

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Sep 20, 2010
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You hopeless romantic!

Nice article. I've lost relationships because of trying to hard to get the better half interested in games, so I definitely get where you're coming from there.
 

JakobBloch

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Apr 7, 2008
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Congratulations. Danielle sounds like a wonderful woman and a real find.


Come to think of it... is this just a thinly veiled "how-on-earth-did-I-get-this-lucky"- or "I-must-have-done-something-really-good-in-a-previous-life"-rant?

In any case I am really happy for you and really envious - I mean - a violinist (among other things), really?
 

KingWein22

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Jun 4, 2010
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Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!

I am approaching year 3 on my marriage. My wife is a gaming fan and enjoys watching me play my fav games and like to get into the story sometimes (I can't do gore like games, for that gives her nightmares..except Castlevania.), even interacts with the characters. We're both retro gamers, and I love the way how she gets into the games as I play them story/plot wise.

I truly hope and pray that this article will help gamers with their non-gaming loves to get to know each other more, and have awesome dinner table conversations like you two have.

God bless the both of you!
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

I never asked for this
Sep 8, 2011
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Congratulations man. I'm happy for you. And I'm also happy with my gamer girlfriend who can always beat me at fighting games. Regardless of how hard I try to distract her with kisses.
 

Robert Rath

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Oct 8, 2010
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You don't need to have everything in common, sometimes just each other is enough.

I'm actually not sure I'd like to have a gamer girlfriend. She'd probably be better then me, and while I'm not a very competitive person my ego bruises easily.
 

Robert Rath

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Oct 8, 2010
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That's nice I guess. But apart from the whole girlfriend thing, I don't see why a non-gamer's view should be so much valuable to the gaming scene. Every one of those questions you mention as examples are questions which I've thought of myself. And, I'm the kind of person who could spend a whole weekend playing one map in Q3.

Really. I don't get this whole inclusion thing. I mean sure, when more people play (or at least are aware of) games, the hobby won't be so shunned as it tends to. On the other hand, really - discussing games with someone who doesn't care much about them is like discussing tennis with someone who doesn't care, or programming, or painting, or surgery. Rarely can a complete outsider really bring something interesting.

So, good for you for having someone to chat like this, your lady is probably a nice person, but I definitely wouldn't generalize it as 'we need more outside voice'.
 

AngelOfBlueRoses

The Cerulean Prince
Nov 5, 2008
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Sounds like you've got a real winner there, Mr. Rath. Congratulations and have a long, happy marriage.