The TF2 Guard Dog Update: All Bark, No Bite

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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The TF2 Guard Dog Update: All Bark, No Bite


Have you seen the new Guard Dog Update for Team Fortress 2 [http://www.teamfortress.com/]? No, it's not real... unless it is.

No, sorry, it's not. The Guard Dog Update page [http://guarddog.50webs.com/] sure has the look of the real thing, featuring very solid art in the TF2 style, a reasonable-sounding list of appropriately amusing abilities like tracking enemies and dispensing jarate, and even a full range of Guard Dog Achievements, complete with Valve-worthy Achievement icons. It is, however, a fake, put together by a graphical designer from Brazil by the name of Diogo Lima.

"I like the game and the community, so it was a pleasure to do," he said. "I did it for fun and didn't have idea any how big it would become. The letter from Valve makes me honored that they recognized my efforts."

The illusion falls apart under closer scrutiny, unfortunately; despite his obvious talents, the fact that English isn't Lima's first language shows through in numerous spelling and grammatical errors that turn the Guard Dog from a perfect parody to a near-miss - but still a damn impressive piece of work.

Impressive enough, in fact, that Valve seems to have joined in on the joke. On the real TF2 blog, Valve posted a Steam forum [http://www.teamfortress.com/1308.htm] has been similarly positive, with many users asking if they can please keep it. So who knows? Given Valve's history of turning quality fan work into the real deal, maybe someday the idea of playing TF2 as a dog with a frikkin' rocket launcher strapped to our backs won't seem quite so far-fetched.

Thanks to Vanguard1219 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Vanguard1219] for the tip.


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Zenode

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Jan 21, 2009
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Too many would yell at this citing imbalance and OMGNEZZ MY SPY IZ RUINED

It was obvious that it was a fake when he spelt the BLU team as BLUE.

Very creative, good work
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Imagine, a Dog for each Class? A Pyro Dog that sniffs out Spies, and Sniper dog that slows enemies down, etc. Kudos to this guy and Valve for being so damn awesome.
 

Sansha

There's a principle in business
Nov 16, 2008
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I wouldn't like it.

Why? I'd feel bad shooting and killing dogs rather than real people. It's still hell for me to squeeze the trigger in Fallout3 against vicious dogs.
 

fix-the-spade

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Feb 25, 2008
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tehroc said:
People would complain, it would be such a smaller model.
People will complain either way, rule of awesome says the dog should be in the game!

Besides, you could rig the contraption on his back so there's plenty of area to hit, a scout sized hitbox would be easy.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Apparently I'm naive early in the morning. Although I knew it was a joke, I thought it was a joke BY Valve until I noticed that i was reading a single jpg and not the official blog. There goes my speculation that Valve would later announce that this "joke" was, in fact, an npc (or maybe a character remote-controlled by engie) spanner replacement for the Engineer update...

tehroc said:
People would complain, it would be such a smaller model.
Oh, people complain anyway.

Sansha said:
I wouldn't like it.

Why? I'd feel bad shooting and killing dogs rather than real people. It's still hell for me to squeeze the trigger in Fallout3 against vicious dogs.
I hear that.
 

Yassen

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Apr 5, 2008
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Sansha said:
I wouldn't like it.

Why? I'd feel bad shooting and killing dogs rather than real people. It's still hell for me to squeeze the trigger in Fallout3 against vicious dogs.
Why do I get the feeling that PETA would agree with you? It'll be that Call of Duty fiasco again with the dogs. Never mind how the dogs are trying to rip your throat out, you're not entitled to kill them to save your own life.
 

uppitycracker

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Oct 9, 2008
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ugh. i'm really, really hoping valve isn't dumb enough to actually implement this. first of all, adding a 10th class would be such a difficult thing to do properly. balancing out another class, while making sure that you don't make one of the existing ones obsolete, just seems like entirely too much trouble. then there's the fact that, while the utility features could be useful, i have a hard time seeing it being worth the sacrifice of an attack or utility class. not to mention, this would completely ruin the spy class. i don't care what anyone says, if you have more than 2 spies on yer team, yer doing it wrong. even having one spy visible the entire time would completely ruin it.


and ya, i know this STARTED as a joke. but the fact that valve responded like they did, really worries me..... should this update be pushed, i'll be getting me a server and setting class restriction to zero on that one.
 

xitel

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Aug 13, 2008
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You know, I think that even if this is a joke, it's a very very well thought out one. Plus it's an adorable class.

And you have to remember, Jarate started as a joke as well, and now it's one of the Sniper's unlockables. So who knows, maybe later on Valve will actually add this? Or some crazy modders will do it themselves, although that's probably far less likely...
 

Sansha

There's a principle in business
Nov 16, 2008
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Yassen said:
Why do I get the feeling that PETA would agree with you? It'll be that Call of Duty fiasco again with the dogs. Never mind how the dogs are trying to rip your throat out, you're not entitled to kill them to save your own life.
It's not the self defense thing, it's that somehow people feel worse about having to kill animals than people. I mean, in video game world I'd no sooner remove a man's head from his shoulders than look at him, but with animals... I dunno. I can't really explain it.

I guess people deserve to be shot for their selfish, greedy, violent ways, but animals...
 

Caliostro

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Jan 23, 2008
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The update was so obviously a fake... The fonts used were wrong, there were typos, and the class itself is entirely a bad idea...

That said, it's amusing community content. But anyone paying any attention won't mistake it for the real deal.
 
May 28, 2009
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If it really does become a real class (here's hoping) and if people are going to complain (like ALWAYS) then maybe only certain servers should allow it to be used (more than a few though, otherwise the dog would be the only class used, though rocket-dogs flying everywhere would be awesome).
 

Signa

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I think the best argument for actually implementing this would be to see PETA's reaction. In a game were you are constantly killing cartoon people, you suddenly kill a cartoon dog, and it becomes an abomination.