The Top 5 Veggie Tales, Based on Memory

fOx

Elite Member
Apr 13, 2020
282
162
48
Country
United States
Bob the Tomato-
Bob is one of the two characters whose name I remember from Sunday school as a child, mostly because he was on the cover. Everyone hated Bob, because Bob was a wet blanket. He always complained. Whenever someone wanted to go to the club, or start a business venture, he was there to tell them it was a bad idea. Because Bob was a fucking loser. He was mediocre in his own life, and he couldn't see beyond the narrow, small scope of his own job and front yard. He was the embodiment of the one guy at church who was kind of pudgy, and worked as a plumber, and had a wife and kids. Ultimately harmless, but he would butt into your conversation about memes to say that he doesn't understand internet humor. He probably wears an All Lives Matter sticker and eats a chick-fil-a for lunch every day. He will never excel at anything. He will never change the world. Or even get promoted. His happiness is dependent on the whims of fate. If the economy is good, he will be content. If the market crashes because new york bankers destroyed the economy because they were making billions off of the housing bubble, he will look up at the sky and wonder why everything is going wrong, confused by forces beyond his control of understanding. He is a slave to the social order, not realizing that he is being used, and then, when his time is come, that he is to be discarded. I don't like Bob. I do pity him, when I think of him at all. But I only remember about five character, so he makes the list.

That One Boxing Pickle-
I'm not sure how a pickle is able to box. He doesn't have arms. But he does have hands that kind of hover near his body, like Rayman. I assume that Boxing Pickle is psychic, and uses his evolved brain powers to lift up boxing gloves, which he uses for combat.

The Old Dude-
I think he was a pea or something. I don't remember what he did. But I like him more then Bob, so he's number three.

Fuck Pig-
To quote the wiki:
"Fuck Pig
is a Sutch pig and one of the rejected supporting antagonists in Under Peppa's Pants. She fancies murdering people and forcing others to overdose intoxicants such as alcohol and heroin (although she gets arrested at times)."

Larry the Cucumber- Everyone loved larry. He started businesses probably. He dressed as a superhero. But for the most part, he just didn't give a fuck about anything. Bob thought he was foolish, but larry saw outside the lines. In time he would likely learn that he was merely a puppet in the capitalist system. A system that turns people into commodities abroad, and consumers at home. He would see a system that had to change. If anyone in that show had the potential to break free, it was Larry. Larry who could embrace the reality that something was not quite right in society. And fight back against the capitalist dogs that keep us in chains. In the old testament, the hebrews abandoned god, and created a great, golden bull to worship, in their decadence. That golden bull is alive today in wallstreet, the new god worshipped by wallstreet bankers. When moses discovered the golden bull, he let loose a blood bath upon his people the likes of which had never been seen before. When larry realized that the golden calf had returned in wallstreet, he would know there was only one solution. To take up the sword of moses, and lead his people to a new communist future.
 

SupahEwok

Malapropic Homophone
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
2,642
386
88
Country
Texas
Now this is the good and wholesome content that I come to these forums for ❤
Editor's Disclaimer: Comment written without reading review.
 

fOx

Elite Member
Apr 13, 2020
282
162
48
Country
United States
It has come to my attention that Fuck Pig is not actually a character from Veggie Tales. In truth, I couldn't remember five characters, so I plagiarized an article about Fuck Pig, without realizing that she is actually from the franchise Pepe the Pig. I apologize for this blunder. I will not correct it, but I will link the approriate article below.

).
 
  • Like
Reactions: SupahEwok

Houseman

Elite Member
Legacy
Apr 4, 2020
711
169
48
That One Boxing Pickle-
I'm not sure how a pickle is able to box. He doesn't have arms. But he does have hands that kind of hover near his body, like Rayman. I assume that Boxing Pickle is psychic, and uses his evolved brain powers to lift up boxing gloves, which he uses for combat.
Unlike Bob, he don't chuckle. He'd rather flex his muscles.
He's hard as nails, it ain't hard to tell, he'll break em down whether they're solid or frail
Unlike the rest he's independent since his first breath
first test, feel the right then the worst left.

Born as a cucumber in the garden...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Drathnoxis

Drathnoxis

Artificial Person
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
290
47
33
Country
Canada
Gender
Male
You know, I don't think most of the characters actually had names. I think the extremely annoying asparagus child was just called Junior and the grandpa grape was just Pa Grape.

I really liked the gourds as a kid. And also the Grapes of Wrath.

I really liked the gourds as a kid. And also the Grapes of Wrath. Also Mr. Lunt had no eyes, but a soul of pure gold.


Easily in the top 5 of songs expressing love for cheeseburgers, of which there are a surprising number.
 
Last edited:

SupahEwok

Malapropic Homophone
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
2,642
386
88
Country
Texas
You know, I don't think most of the characters actually had names. I think the extremely annoying asparagus child was just called Junior and the grandpa grape was just Pa Grape.

I really liked the gourds as a kid. And also the Grapes of Wrath.

I really liked the gourds as a kid. And also the Grapes of Wrath. Also Mr. Lunt had no eyes, but a soul of pure gold.


Easily in the top 5 of songs expressing love for cheeseburgers, of which there are a surprising number.
You know, I think I saw that as a kid, but now as an adult, there's something vaguely disturbing about vegetables singing about how much they want to eat beef, eggs, and bacon.
 

Revnak

Elite Member
Legacy
May 25, 2020
555
379
68
Country
USA
Thinkin about the anti-racist anthem, I Can Be Your Friend