The whole holding-a-door-thing

Drops a Sweet Katana

Folded 1000x for her pleasure
May 27, 2009
897
0
0
Best I can tell, it's not a thing in real life. There may be some people online who will gripe about it (but again I have never seen this first hand), but you'll probably never get someone having a go at you for just holding a door.
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

New member
Oct 9, 2008
2,686
0
0
The internet exaggerates everything because moderate middle of the road opinions take too long to read/write and dont get likes.

Dont let the comments section skew your perceptions of the real world.
 

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
16,755
0
0
Phasmal said:
Jeivar said:
Something I've witnessed on the internet over the years with no small amount of confusion is women expressing outrage if a man holds open a door for them. I started thinking about this again today after going through a "worst of Tumblr" list, much to my dismay.
Soooo, this isn't something you've actually seen, but the internet assures you it is a thing?
Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Thaluikhain said:
Eh, as far as I can tell, there's no truth to it. Lots of people claim that feminists are obsessed with this, but I've never encountered, either online or off, anyone who held that view.

Like "high school is the best time of your life", never met anyone who agrees, but supposedly there are those that do out there somewhere in great numbers.

(Having said that, there are lots of women that are annoyed if you hold open a door for them until they are halfway through, and then let it close on them. Lots of men as well.)
I've literally been yelled at for opening the door for a woman. She sneered at me and assured me she could hold open it for herself and didn't need my help. I shrugged and went on in, but it did piss me off. She assumed I gave a damn about her being a woman. I didn't. I would have held the door for anyone. In fact, I've literally waited for elderly people with walkers and held the door for them.

But, yeah, it does happen. It's rare. And the people who do it are idiots. But it does happen.
 

Ragsnstitches

New member
Dec 2, 2009
1,871
0
0
shrekfan246 said:
Actually, this video just reminded me of something I have also seen:

A lot of guys seem to be perpetually offended by the idea that they should be "required" to hold doors open.
Crikey, what the fuck is that guys deal? When everybody in the room is laughing at you and your NOT a slapstick/self-depreciating comedian, it might be time to take your ball and go home.

Look, I've made a show of myself in public before, getting angry and looking like a right tit, so I can sympathize to a degree with a guy just having a bad day and letting it get worse, but even I would stop fighting my corner in such a scenario... I'd just feel so bloody foolish.

In my case I make an effort go back and apologize once I cool down, I sort of hope he did the same otherwise this kind of non-issue follows you for years (and can make you an even bigger asshole if you try to convince yourself you're in the right for throwing a tantrum in public... hint: Tantrums never make you right).

Fieldy409 said:
The internet exaggerates everything because moderate middle of the road opinions take too long to read/write and dont get likes.

Dont let the comments section skew your perceptions of the real world.
Spot on.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
6,374
0
0
Ragsnstitches said:
shrekfan246 said:
Actually, this video just reminded me of something I have also seen:

A lot of guys seem to be perpetually offended by the idea that they should be "required" to hold doors open.
Crikey, what the fuck is that guys deal? When everybody in the room is laughing at you and your NOT a slapstick/self-depreciating comedian, it might be time to take your ball and go home.

Look, I've made a show of myself in public before, getting angry and looking like a right tit, so I can sympathize to a degree with a guy just having a bad day and letting it get worse, but even I would stop fighting my corner in such a scenario... I'd just feel so bloody foolish.

In my case I make an effort go back and apologize once I cool down, I sort of hope he did the same otherwise this kind of non-issue follows you for years.
Without getting too far into it, that guy's rant is the kind of thing that a relatively significant number of people in the darker corners of the internet legitimately believe and typically just don't vent out in public.

It was apparently 3 in the morning, according to the person who posted the video. Maybe he should've had a Snickers before going in to get a Jr. Chicken.
 
Sep 14, 2009
9,073
0
0
Saltyk said:
Phasmal said:
Jeivar said:
Something I've witnessed on the internet over the years with no small amount of confusion is women expressing outrage if a man holds open a door for them. I started thinking about this again today after going through a "worst of Tumblr" list, much to my dismay.
Soooo, this isn't something you've actually seen, but the internet assures you it is a thing?
Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Thaluikhain said:
Eh, as far as I can tell, there's no truth to it. Lots of people claim that feminists are obsessed with this, but I've never encountered, either online or off, anyone who held that view.

Like "high school is the best time of your life", never met anyone who agrees, but supposedly there are those that do out there somewhere in great numbers.

(Having said that, there are lots of women that are annoyed if you hold open a door for them until they are halfway through, and then let it close on them. Lots of men as well.)
I've literally been yelled at for opening the door for a woman. She sneered at me and assured me she could hold open it for herself and didn't need my help. I shrugged and went on in, but it did piss me off. She assumed I gave a damn about her being a woman. I didn't. I would have held the door for anyone. In fact, I've literally waited for elderly people with walkers and held the door for them.

But, yeah, it does happen. It's rare. And the people who do it are idiots. But it does happen.
yeah, very similar situation happened to me as well, I was in utter shock because I had absolutely zero interest in the girl, I just happened to notice we were heading for the same door to the library, and it'd be easier if I opened it and just let her keep walking rather than opening it, my body crossing the door and blocking her, and going through it. (common courtesy and all that to anyone regardless of size/shape/gender/etc...)

low and behold she launched darkseid omega eye beams at me for it and scoffed, then said "uhm excuse me, I don't need a man to hold the door for me!"

now that's an incident out of hundreds (if not thousands?) of times I've held the door open for people, but it does kind of stick with you due to its absurdity.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
4,771
1
0
Phasmal said:
As for the door thing, literally any time you interact with a stranger in any way, you run the risk of them not liking that interaction. Welcome to the world.
This.

No matter what you do, who you really are, how kind you may be, inevitably you're going to do something that pisses or offends somebody else. Not everyone is gonna get along, and thats a bummer, but whatcha gonna do? The alternative is just to withdraw from society as a whole.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
4,771
1
0
Saltyk said:
Phasmal said:
Jeivar said:
Something I've witnessed on the internet over the years with no small amount of confusion is women expressing outrage if a man holds open a door for them. I started thinking about this again today after going through a "worst of Tumblr" list, much to my dismay.
Soooo, this isn't something you've actually seen, but the internet assures you it is a thing?
Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Thaluikhain said:
Eh, as far as I can tell, there's no truth to it. Lots of people claim that feminists are obsessed with this, but I've never encountered, either online or off, anyone who held that view.

Like "high school is the best time of your life", never met anyone who agrees, but supposedly there are those that do out there somewhere in great numbers.

(Having said that, there are lots of women that are annoyed if you hold open a door for them until they are halfway through, and then let it close on them. Lots of men as well.)
I've literally been yelled at for opening the door for a woman. She sneered at me and assured me she could hold open it for herself and didn't need my help. I shrugged and went on in, but it did piss me off. She assumed I gave a damn about her being a woman. I didn't. I would have held the door for anyone. In fact, I've literally waited for elderly people with walkers and held the door for them.

But, yeah, it does happen. It's rare. And the people who do it are idiots. But it does happen.
Anybody that would yell at you for it, like actively make an issue out of it in person probably has some far deeper personal shit going on in their life that they're dealing with. I guarantee it. It's something larger than just you and the door, that's just an excuse for them to vent their frustration.

EDIT: Topical-
Hodor: Male Chauvinist
 

MHR

New member
Apr 3, 2010
939
0
0
If I get scoffed at for holding the door open for a woman, I tell her the patriarchy is in Iran.
 

springheeljack

Red in Tooth and Claw
May 6, 2010
645
0
0
It is such a non issue it doesn't even deserve it's own thread but don't let me tell you how to live your life
Anyway I normally push the door open when I walk through and if I notice someone behind me I will nudge it more so they can get through before it closes. If I do hold the door open it's for both men and women alike but mostly for my mom because she sometimes says something if I don't
 

The Lunatic

Princess
Jun 3, 2010
2,291
0
0
Just do what I do.

Continually open and close the door in front of them, make it a game to see if they can get through without getting slammed in the face.

Fun for everyone.
 

rosac

New member
Sep 13, 2008
1,205
0
0
I hold the door open for anyone that isn't A) too far away and/or B) actively trying to kill me.
 

Seraj33

New member
Jun 18, 2012
150
0
0
I hold the door for women. I hold the door for men. I hold the door for handicapped people. I hold the door for the elderly. I hold the door for children. I hold the door for cats. I hold the door for dogs. I even hold the door for birds and spiders.

I'm not being condecending to any of these things. I'm just not being a fucking asshole slamming the door in their faces as they try to come through.
 

Wrex Brogan

New member
Jan 28, 2016
803
0
0
Women always get pissed at me when I hold the door for them. Though I do hold it closed, so maybe that'll have something to do with it...
 

Creator002

New member
Aug 30, 2010
1,590
0
0
Never seen it in real life. Heard about it online. I'd be willing to bet those who do get offended by having a door opened/held open for them probably only express their outrage online.
As for me, I hold the door open for anyone close enough that looks like they're going through. Except my friends. I actively close it on them behind me.
 
Mar 30, 2010
3,785
0
0
I always hold doors open for people, I don't care whether they're male or female, young or old, black or white, muslim or christian, loaded down with bags or have both hands free. It's called being polite.

Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Yup, I've had women give me crap for holding doors for them. Comments like "Single women can cope on their own, you know! F*ckin' pig." when holding the door for a lass with a pushchair have been snapped/hissed in my direction more than a few times. It can be quite upsetting, but as I know the gesture was made with no bad intent I try not to let it get to me.
 

Nazulu

They will not take our Fluids
Jun 5, 2008
6,242
0
0
sky14kemea said:
OT: People are weird. Holding the door for anyone is polite.

Unless you bow and say "M'LADY" as they pass, then you're kinda being weird.
Or watch too many classic films ^^

OT: It's just idiots being idiots, you can find them anywhere.

Just use common sense, tell them to find a real issue to over-react too and move on.
 

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
16,755
0
0
gmaverick019 said:
Saltyk said:
Phasmal said:
Jeivar said:
Something I've witnessed on the internet over the years with no small amount of confusion is women expressing outrage if a man holds open a door for them. I started thinking about this again today after going through a "worst of Tumblr" list, much to my dismay.
Soooo, this isn't something you've actually seen, but the internet assures you it is a thing?
Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Thaluikhain said:
Eh, as far as I can tell, there's no truth to it. Lots of people claim that feminists are obsessed with this, but I've never encountered, either online or off, anyone who held that view.

Like "high school is the best time of your life", never met anyone who agrees, but supposedly there are those that do out there somewhere in great numbers.

(Having said that, there are lots of women that are annoyed if you hold open a door for them until they are halfway through, and then let it close on them. Lots of men as well.)
I've literally been yelled at for opening the door for a woman. She sneered at me and assured me she could hold open it for herself and didn't need my help. I shrugged and went on in, but it did piss me off. She assumed I gave a damn about her being a woman. I didn't. I would have held the door for anyone. In fact, I've literally waited for elderly people with walkers and held the door for them.

But, yeah, it does happen. It's rare. And the people who do it are idiots. But it does happen.
yeah, very similar situation happened to me as well, I was in utter shock because I had absolutely zero interest in the girl, I just happened to notice we were heading for the same door to the library, and it'd be easier if I opened it and just let her keep walking rather than opening it, my body crossing the door and blocking her, and going through it. (common courtesy and all that to anyone regardless of size/shape/gender/etc...)

low and behold she launched darkseid omega eye beams at me for it and scoffed, then said "uhm excuse me, I don't need a man to hold the door for me!"

now that's an incident out of hundreds (if not thousands?) of times I've held the door open for people, but it does kind of stick with you due to its absurdity.
Pretty much exactly the same. Though, I was going into a restaurant near where I live to get a quick lunch. Otherwise everything you said applies.

And yes, I have opened the door for hundreds, if not thousands, of people and she was the only person to ever give me any sort of issue. I still do it to this day. However, having one person give you grief over a common courtesy is something that you remember.
DudeistBelieve said:
Saltyk said:
Phasmal said:
Jeivar said:
Something I've witnessed on the internet over the years with no small amount of confusion is women expressing outrage if a man holds open a door for them. I started thinking about this again today after going through a "worst of Tumblr" list, much to my dismay.
Soooo, this isn't something you've actually seen, but the internet assures you it is a thing?
Fappy said:
Has anyone here ever seriously had someone get mad at them for holding the door open? I've had plenty of people not acknowledge my aid, which is fine, but never had anyone get actively mad.
Thaluikhain said:
Eh, as far as I can tell, there's no truth to it. Lots of people claim that feminists are obsessed with this, but I've never encountered, either online or off, anyone who held that view.

Like "high school is the best time of your life", never met anyone who agrees, but supposedly there are those that do out there somewhere in great numbers.

(Having said that, there are lots of women that are annoyed if you hold open a door for them until they are halfway through, and then let it close on them. Lots of men as well.)
I've literally been yelled at for opening the door for a woman. She sneered at me and assured me she could hold open it for herself and didn't need my help. I shrugged and went on in, but it did piss me off. She assumed I gave a damn about her being a woman. I didn't. I would have held the door for anyone. In fact, I've literally waited for elderly people with walkers and held the door for them.

But, yeah, it does happen. It's rare. And the people who do it are idiots. But it does happen.
Anybody that would yell at you for it, like actively make an issue out of it in person probably has some far deeper personal shit going on in their life that they're dealing with. I guarantee it. It's something larger than just you and the door, that's just an excuse for them to vent their frustration.
Okay. And? Should I not feel she was completely in the wrong? Should I be an ally to understand her feelings?

I don't care what was going on in her life. She does not have the right to take out her frustrations on people who are simply being courteous.

Oh, and some people do think it is "benevolent sexism". A study [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2988310/How-smile-reveals-man-s-SEXIST-Beliefs-women-betrayed-facial-expressions-claims-study.html] last year even said that men opening doors for women are as sexist as those who are rude to them. It may be a minority that will actually get upset, but we all know how vocal minorities dominate discussions.

Oh, and I hold the door open for everyone. Male, female, black, white, old, young, or otherwise.
 

Parasondox

New member
Jun 15, 2013
3,229
0
0
Saltyk said:
Okay. And? Should I not feel she was completely in the wrong? Should I be an ally to understand her feelings?

I don't care what was going on in her life. She does not have the right to take out her frustrations on people who are simply being courteous.
No, she's in the wrong. She just may not realise it. It doesnt excuse her behaviour at all. If someone, anyone, you or I, had personal shit going on in their lives, they have zero, absolutely zero right to take it out on those who have nothing to do with it. If the personal shit is about someone else, they should take it up with that person. I knew someone who did that a lot in the past where their partner would do something to piss them off and instead of talking to them about it, they took it out on me, their friends, their family, anyone in a 10 metre radius. We all have shit we have to deal with but using someone else as a punching bag doesn't help. You can lose friends that way, family will find it hard to approach you and the bad vibe you give will make many cautious around you.

Honestly, if you are pissed at something or someone, DO NOT take it out on others. Try sorting out the situation and/or confronting the ones involved, peacefully.