The worst and most pointless weapon in any game.

[uzo]

The table leg, a Russian Partizani weapon from Mount & Blade: Napoleonic Wars.

It's so slow you have to be a jedi to block with it (in that you have to see the future - it blocks slower than even the slowest of attacks), and the swing is so slow, and reach so short, that it can be dodged by simply walking backwards, and the damage is so weak you have to clobber enemy infantry 5-6 times before they stay down.

All that time, an enemy infantry only needs 1 good hit to kill you outright with a bayonet which has greater reach and faster speed.



That said, if you have mad melee skillz you can still take down inexperienced cavalry with naught but a table leg. Nothing beats the satisfaction of smashing a dragoon's face in with a piece of furniture after you've killed his horse with a broken vodka bottle.

 

[JagermanXcell]

Shotguns. Almost every game that features one is hilariously terrible. There's no game I wanted to use the shotgun... excluding Black because it sounds like a grenade going off and blows people away in the most amusing way. I'd trade it out for an SMG first chance I got in any other game. SMGs also obliterate anyone close to you on top of being effective enough at medium range.

Then you play a game like RE4 which turns the shotgun into the ultimate weapon that gets you out of EVERY hairy situation and through EVERY boss battle.

OT:
The Rivet Gun DLC from Dead Space 2.
Not only did EA make you pay for it, but they had the decency to sell a gun that looked viable only to have it have the kick/damage feel like a BB gun vs necromorphs.

Bioshock Infinite's weapons, most of em. For me it was just the Shotgun, the Carbine, and the Handcannon (damn that 2 weapon only system) w/ wacky vigor combos. As soon as the Vox weapons were introduced I facepalmed at their uselessness.

Andre's Blacksmiths Hammer from Dark Souls. A jagged ghost blade and the mail breaker are more viable then that low AR piece of garbage, but what do you expect from a weapon thats made to smith weapons. Also you have kill the most useful blacksmith in the game for it... now that is Artificial Difficulty.

Almost EVERY weapon throughout the Metal Gear Solid franchise. Sure they were fun, but cmon! Mk22 tranq gun DESTROYED ALL.
Or Raiden's sword/main weapons if we're including Revengance, since that game had horrible sub weapons too.

 

[Starke]

Laspistol from 40K. You DID say any game. But oh wait it doesn't count since its used as a laser pointer that can kill someone.

Yeah, on that front, I'm trying to remember, but there was a weapon in the old Decipher Star Wars CCG that would reduce someone's forfeit to 0 for the rest of the battle, and nothing else. You couldn't actually kill anyone with it, and shooting someone with the thing meant they were actually less likely to die in that battle.

 

[Starke]

The Thirtyeight from Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (Anyone else remember that game?)

Spoiler: This piece of crap

Without a doubt in my mind, the absolute worst non-joke weapon in any game. Everything about it is terrible. The accuracy, the damage, hell, even the firing rate sucked. You are literally better off just running up to enemies and using your bare fists in every single encounter when that piece of crap is your only available ranged combat option.
Guns in that game in general suck up until you get to Hollywood, but even then, that is the absolute worst of the bunch.

Good god yeah. You'd literally be better served in any class just with your undead fisticuffs.

To be fair, that is pretty true to the P&P game. At least when you've got no dots in firearms. Get the four or five dice pool the .38 wants, and it's actually kinda useful.

 

[XzarTheMad]

Spoiler: Serious Sam's Knife. (Remember, this was a game with infinite pistol ammo and I don't recall one instance when stealth was an option)

Now, I don't know what kind of commie console version of Sam you played, but for the First and Second encounter, that knife hit about as hard as a double barreled shotgun without any of the ammo cost as well as with a faster attack speed. Kleer skeletons, Sirian werebulls and any odd variant of Gnaar and other melee mother-hubbards fell to Sam's Single handed Scythe with no problems at all. Witch-harpies, electro-fish, bio-mechanoids... Bunny-hopping made the knife a viable tactic for hit-and-run destruction.

My pick for best worst weapon probably goes to the Sausage on a Stick from Magicka: Not only does it do very little melee damage, it actually causes monsters to actively seek you out over your friends. Useful for bait, perhaps... Speaking of Magicka, the Crash To Desktop spell - as likely to kill (read: erase from existence) you as your enemy.

Alternatively, Aphrodite's Ultimate skill in Smite (I suppose that counts?): A brief invincibility (.5 seconds at lvl 1, ~1.5 seconds at max lvl) and breaking crowd control effects for caster and her "soul mate". That's it. Can get you out of a scrap, sure, but compared to every other ult skill, it's fairly worthless.

Or perhaps the Iron Dagger in Skyrim, considering how easy it is to find something better, even as a backstabbing backstabber.

Lastly, the Cain from Mass Effect 2+3. Nuke-launcher, sure, but useless in practically all situations. I suppose against ME2's boss it might be worthwhile, but I would much rather be able to fry a regiment of goons with the Arc Thrower or tear through a Praetorian with the Collector Particle Beam. Used the Cain once, where it ate all my ammo with very little benefit, and shelved it. I can't fathom a situation where it would be a more viable strategy than simply playing conservatively.

 

[hooglese]

The starter pistol in Army of two 2. It took my friend multiple clips of point blank head shots to kill a broken enemy that wasn't even an elite.

 

[My name is Fiction]

Shotguns. Almost every game that features one is hilariously terrible. There's no game I wanted to use the shotgun... excluding Black because it sounds like a grenade going off and blows people away in the most amusing way. I'd trade it out for an SMG first chance I got in any other game. SMGs also obliterate anyone close to you on top of being effective enough at medium range.

Alloy cannon, that is all.

XCOM right? I'm not actually using that gun personally, and I still usually only had one guy using it out of a six man squad. I preferred my plasma sniper who would demolish practically everyone with double tap.

True but when you have double tap plus the free shot they get when a crystal or muton gets within 4 spaces of them the damage output in one turn is probably 2x as high.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

All of the Unreal series infinite ammo weapons were pretty poor, especially the recharging pistol from Unreal 1.

I for one loved the instagib weapon from UT2004...

 

[Starke]

Shotguns. Almost every game that features one is hilariously terrible. There's no game I wanted to use the shotgun... excluding Black because it sounds like a grenade going off and blows people away in the most amusing way. I'd trade it out for an SMG first chance I got in any other game. SMGs also obliterate anyone close to you on top of being effective enough at medium range.

Alloy cannon, that is all.

XCOM right? I'm not actually using that gun personally, and I still usually only had one guy using it out of a six man squad. I preferred my plasma sniper who would demolish practically everyone with double tap.

True but when you have double tap plus the free shot they get when a crystal or muton gets within 4 spaces of them the damage output in one turn is probably 2x as high.

I've you've been building up assaults for shotguns, the Alloy Cannon makes a lot of sense. It's a nice endgame weapon. I don't like sticking my characters that close to death, but it does have a pretty solid use.

Given the way the tech tree in XCom works, I'd actually be more inclined to call all the laser weapons useless, given that you can just get really good with the arc thrower, and leapfrog over them completely.

 

[The Enquirer]

The luger or silenced pistol from Timesplitters 2 were abysmal single weapons in multiplayer. They had use in the story because of silent headshots, but thats gone in the deathmatches. Dual pistols were so so, but not a single pistol.
Also from that game, the brick. a novelty weapon, but not effective in the slightest

Yea, dua pistols were a decent starting weapon, which is what I would set it too most of the time... The brick actually was quite good in timesplitters future perfect if you were good with it.

 

[Mert Matthews]

When i think of a useless weapon i think of Experimental MIRV from Fallout 3, Yes, it is really fun to be able to fire 8 nukes at the same time but 1, you cannot use it indoors or it will blow you to middle earth. 2, each shot is so bloody expensive i would rather use only vengence(Gatling laser) throught the game instead. Performance/expense is simply too unfeasible, have a big pack of enemies? Use cover and a gatling laser.

There was also the laser weapons from X-com, weapons are not useless per se but you can instead research plasma and sacrifice nothing at all not to mention since captured enemies give you plasma rifles it makes more sense to not ever use them.

Also for people who say .38 from Vampire: The masquerade, i disagree, i used it untill i got a glock but it was pretty good to chip away the enemy hp till they got close and i would just kite them around especially the doctor and that blood guardian thingy in santa monica which at the time hit like a truck for my low level undead ass.I also had 3 points in ranged at the time.

Lightning storm from skyrim, Master level spell which requires you to cast it for 2 seconds, while standing still and has MUCH less dps than just spamming lightning bolt. The fire storm was kind of cool though because it was aoe.

Tranquil weapons in Deus ex: HR, I was thrilled when i heard i could use non lethal weapons in a game, which meant i could finally complete a game without murdering half a city. BUT and thats a big fat BUT the ammo is almost impossible to find and IT DOESN'T WORK ON BOSSES. The game expects you to be using lethal weapons and not even letting you know they do not work on bosses, mind you the bosses were still human and had a blood stream so why does it not work? I killed everything else with more prejudice just because of that BS.

 

[Terramax]

The knife in Resident Evil games. I don't know if you're supposed to be stabbing the zombies, or trying to butter them like bread.

 

[snave]

The regular bonesaw in Surgeon Simulator 2013. The electric bonesaw, drill or laser is always superior. Heck, even the claw hammer barely cuts it when the only time you'd want to use it (cracking the skull in the ambulance), you have a medical axe and the butt end of a fire extinguisher to use instead.

 

[xdiesp]

I keep shooting water arrows at hammerites and they don't even flinch.

 

[Cranky]

I think Fallout is filled with useless weapons. Like the Knife and the Valid Points and the Ripper. To name a few,

 

[The Youth Counselor]

Any of the melee weapons from Deus Ex beside the Dragon Tooth's Sword, Riot Prod, and Baton.

Not only did they all suck, but they were annoying as when looting the bodies you had take everything or nothing. So since every other body had someone carrying a knife, crowbar, or sword you had to go through the tediously chore of emptying of your inventory to make room, throwing out the new junk, and putting your good stuff back in.

Gravity Gun from Half Life 2.
A weapon which relies upon conveniently placed Saw Blades and Propane tanks lying around is not a weapon I want to be going up against the enemy with.

I keep shooting water arrows at hammerites and they don't even flinch.

I'm going to have to go with the Spy-cicle from Team Fortress 2.
Seeing as a ton of weapons have no back-stab sound, and it can be melted by the Spy coming in contact with fire.

Oh, and to My name is Fiction, you're a positive person, I like you.

I love the Spi-cicle. Unless the Spy immediately equips the Dead Ringer after being set ablaze he's dead. And even if the Spy pulls out the Dead Ringer in time, any Pyro worth his salt will W+M1 in every possible nook and cranny one would take cover in and reappear.

Previously as a Spy, I'd completely avoid Pyros unless it is clear that one is unaware or in a moment of desperation. With the Spi-cicle I'm not so skittish.

 

[rocketdive2001]

Excalipur from the Final Fantasy series. A real joke weapon for sure ... even if you used special commands such as "THROW", it's still going to do 1 point of damage!

Hands down the worst weapon ever!

 

[wintercoat]

Spoiler: Serious Sam's Knife. (Remember, this was a game with infinite pistol ammo and I don't recall one instance when stealth was an option)

Now, I don't know what kind of commie console version of Sam you played, but for the First and Second encounter, that knife hit about as hard as a double barreled shotgun without any of the ammo cost as well as with a faster attack speed. Kleer skeletons, Sirian werebulls and any odd variant of Gnaar and other melee mother-hubbards fell to Sam's Single handed Scythe with no problems at all. Witch-harpies, electro-fish, bio-mechanoids... Bunny-hopping made the knife a viable tactic for hit-and-run destruction.

My pick for best worst weapon probably goes to the Sausage on a Stick from Magicka: Not only does it do very little melee damage, it actually causes monsters to actively seek you out over your friends. Useful for bait, perhaps... Speaking of Magicka, the Crash To Desktop spell - as likely to kill (read: erase from existence) you as your enemy.

Alternatively, Aphrodite's Ultimate skill in Smite (I suppose that counts?): A brief invincibility (.5 seconds at lvl 1, ~1.5 seconds at max lvl) and breaking crowd control effects for caster and her "soul mate". That's it. Can get you out of a scrap, sure, but compared to every other ult skill, it's fairly worthless.

Or perhaps the Iron Dagger in Skyrim, considering how easy it is to find something better, even as a backstabbing backstabber.

Lastly, the Cain from Mass Effect 2+3. Nuke-launcher, sure, but useless in practically all situations. I suppose against ME2's boss it might be worthwhile, but I would much rather be able to fry a regiment of goons with the Arc Thrower or tear through a Praetorian with the Collector Particle Beam. Used the Cain once, where it ate all my ammo with very little benefit, and shelved it. I can't fathom a situation where it would be a more viable strategy than simply playing conservatively.

Re: the Cain. I usually only use the Cain once, and only once. To instakill the Core on the Derelict Reaper. If you have it out and start charging it right as the cutscene ends when entering the room, you can fire it off before it closes, and it's an instant kill on every difficulty except I believe Insanity, and even then, it only needs a few more shots to finish off. Saves having to dance around with shittons of Husks in a confined area, and that's always a good thing.

 

[Starke]

The Knife from Resident Evil 2 - No way would fighting with it be worth the health loss or time.

The Chinese Pistol from Fallout 3 - I'm pretty sure it's the weapon no one could use even if they wanted to. Not even its unique version was any good, and it used the ammo your vastly superior 10mm pistol used and that's the first gun you get.

Why bethesda gave you the best pistol in the game to start out, I have no idea. Adding in others seems silly.

The point of the Chinese pistol was to sell. It's got a much higher base value than it's damage justifies, and, although, it's been a while, my recollection is it's one of the best weight/value ratio items you'll dig off of enemies. I think that was the point of the .32 revolver, but I could be mistaken.

 

[Starke]

Also, the fucking flamethrower in the ENTIRE DEAD SPACE FRANCHISE. They couldn't make that crappy weapon work in 3 whole games. Dayum son, that's weak.

Honestly, all three flamethrowers are pretty hilariously useful. The first two are high risk/high reward, but they will end anything that gets within range, the flamer in 3 can be utterly horrifying when combined with a stasis coating, because it will stun lock everything.