The worst documentary you have ever seen

Major_Tom

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Jun 29, 2008
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I was watching some bullshit documentary about a supposed alien incident in Malmstrom AFB and in the reenactment all the airmen at the base were wearing... wait for it... three-color DCUs. In 1965. That was more freaky than the aliens.

But that's just silly nitpicking, Spirit 'Science' - The Human History Movie is the worst 'documentary' ever.
 

Angelowl

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Feb 8, 2013
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It was an american documentary about the viking age. Everything was dark, grim, misty, people looked famished, only wore brown and grey clothing. That on it's own was bad considering how warm the climate was back then and how colourful clothes a lot of the free people had. Then the commentary started. "The old norse had no kings..." *click* Nope, just no. I refuse to watch that garbage. I know of at least five scandinavian kingdoms at the time. I live in one of them!

"Historical" documentaries as a general rule. I watched one about the "english invention" that is the longbow. Yeah right, give the welsh some credit bloody imperialist.
 

LordLundar

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Apr 6, 2004
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Lightspeaker said:
PainInTheAssInternet said:
There's the obvious ALIENS DID EVERYTHING! from the History Channel that is the subject of a lot of mockery.
Oh god I always assumed that image was some kind of photoshop but, curious, I googled it just now.

That was actually a THING? X-D
Ayup. The funny thing is over the years the guy's hair started to stand up on end as you see in the meme so there's a joke that he's being abducted vvvveeeerrrryyyyy ssssllllloooowwwllllyyyy. :D

And I'll be honest, can these really be called documentaries? Most of these are conspiracy theories dressed up so they don't sound like it's coming from a total lunatic.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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Aug 3, 2011
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Queen Michael said:
I hereby predict that all of these documentaries will be mentioned: What the Bleep Do We Know; The Secret; Zeitgeist; and, of course, Loose Change.
Was loose change the one that did that proof america did the 9/11 attacks? If so the good to come out of that documentary was that another group used that video and cut in proof that debunked all their proof. Now that was a great documentary.
 

yunabomb

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Nov 29, 2011
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Honestly there is a lot of competition for this one. A lot of documentaries are made by people who think they're ideas are way more revolutionary than they are. Out of those I've seen the one that comes to mind is Revolution OS. Partly because it's shallow and boring, and partly because the film makers show so much contempt for the idea that developers may want to get paid for their work.
 

BytByte

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Nov 26, 2009
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There is a magically hot mess of a documentary called Ultrasuede In Search of Halston that says it's trying to talk about the fashion designer, but it's more about the director talking about himself. There is no self-awareness and then their is Ultrasuede.
 

Elfgore

Your friendly local nihilist
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Apr 3, 2020
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Go watch The Hidden Hand: Alien Contact and the Government Cover-Up on Netflix. It'll be the most entertaining hour and a half of your life. Some of the things doctors, scientist, and ex-government employees are saying things that are mind-boggling stupid and moronic. Not to mention that there are some people on this earth who believe they have had sex with aliens. I'm. Not. Shitting. You.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

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May 15, 2010
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Aside from Bowling for Columbine which had some interesting information, anything by Michael Moore. Dude's a hack and uses one-sided editing techniques to make a false narrative much like the guy from Super-Size Me did except y'know eating McD's isn't necessarily healthy for you which he was correct on, it just doesn't destroy your health as fast as he made it seem.
 

rorychief

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Mar 1, 2013
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Sun, sex and satan. It's a british documentary about the island of Jersey whereby the filmmaker explores the idea that the royal family and illuminati are using the island as a child farm for their sex rituals.

The premise is that Jersey is a hybrid of shadow over Innsmouth, resident evil four and the wickerman.The guy runs around a pleasant seaside town yelling questions about paedophile cults at bewildered holiday goers, claiming everyone's complicit in the conspiracy and too afraid to speak out, and running away from interviews halfway through because unseen off camera forces were amassing on their location, always ending with a breathy 'we managed to get out of there in the nick of time.'

Highlights include:
Stopping the van because they passed a garden filled with garden ornaments, some of the ornaments were statues of naked children and obvious totems for the worship of paedophilia. Didn't knock on the door to ask about the ornaments though, just zoomed in on them from afar because of how perilous the situation was.

Sneaking around the grounds of the old insane asylum, now a well taken care of historical site and community centre, and peering in the arts and crafts room window to spot some kind of vile demonic effigy (A child's clumsily sculpted clay mask) and getting out of there before things got too hot, instead of you know, asking at the desk for a tour because its a public building.

Finding an actual statue of the devil or satyr, no background on why the statue was commissioned or what it has to do with local folklore, just description of the foul presence it totally emanates in the film maker's head that the camera probably isn't picking up. He then does a speech/sermon/incantation where he tells the statue get out of my head I am a servant of christ.

A convincing argument that the queen worships cthulu and the royal navy is her elite eldritch guard. This is based on the fact that a law was passed which keeps people from being discharged from the navy based on their religious beliefs, and thus allowing the satanist scourge to fester and spread through the ranks while the pious are left with no legal recourse to purge them.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
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The King of Kong: A Fist Full of Quarters... Just like the power glove, it's so bad...

Other than that, I got nothing... There was this one "nature" documentary involving this one dude spewing bullshit about nature itself, but I forgot the title of it...
 

silver wolf009

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Jan 23, 2010
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Sleepless in America.

A truly wretched program that just drones on and on about how sleep is important, and how many people do you risk killing if you're not well rested behind the wheel, and if you don't you're instantly pre-diabetic, and bladdy bladdy blah!

There's no connecting voiceover to give it progression, it goes back and forth between scientists, without reintroducing them, and just peters around, wasting time and killing my desire to give it attention.
 

Fox12

AccursedT- see you space cowboy
Jun 6, 2013
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I have an overwhelming dislike with Religulous, and Bill Maher in general.

The gist of the documentary was "haha, look at these dumb christians." It's not clever, it's not informative, and worst of all it's not even funny. I'm not religious, but the film was so arrogant that I could barely stand it.
 

Super Cyborg

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Jul 25, 2014
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Fox12 said:
I have an overwhelming dislike with Religulous, and Bill Maher in general.

The gist of the documentary was "haha, look at these dumb christians." It's not clever, it's not informative, and worst of all it's not even funny. I'm not religious, but the film was so arrogant that I could barely stand it.
I thought Religulous was supposed to be some kind of comedy movie from early 2000's. I've gotten used to being ridiculed by media for my beliefs that I've lost the ability to be insulted by such things.

I don't watch many documentaries, because many of them are completely false, or take many things out of context. Super Size Me is the only one I remember, and my thought wasn't how his size changed so fast, but the fact that the guy assumes the customers shouldn't take responsibility about what they eat. A better thing would've been to do a documentary on how making your own foods can be cheaper and healthier by taking results of cost and nutrition information from home made meals, and meals from other places. Also, when they make one mention of his GF and show her to be a "vegan hippie", that's screaming something in my mind (I'm fine with Vegans or anybody, but there are certain group combinations that seemed to be used by media to make things pretentious).
 

GabeZhul

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Mar 8, 2012
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Johnny Novgorod said:
Room 237, which compiles just about every stupid conspiracy theory surrounding the making of The Shining.
Wasn't that something of a tongue-in-cheek parody documentary where they looked up the crazy theorists not because they believed in their stories but just for the lulz? At least the people I heard discussing this said it was entertaining and not serious.

Now then, I actually happen to have a documentary that no one mentioned yet: House of Numbers. It's practically Expelled for AIDS denialism: willfully ignorant, quote-mining the interviewed scientists to make them say the exact opposite they actually said and it prominently features Christine Maggiore, an AIDS denialist that not only died in the meantime because of AIDS related complications, but her young child also died a few years earlier because she refused to give her HIV medications, instead using a "healthy diet" and "holistic approaches" to "cure" her.

Oh, and if that wasn't enough, last year YouTube science blogger Mike Myers (whom I happen to follow) got repeatedly DMCA's when he tried to make a video series about the movie, almost losing him his channel. Both the documentary and the people behind it are just dreadful.
 

Fox12

AccursedT- see you space cowboy
Jun 6, 2013
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Super Cyborg said:
I like documentaries that just show us interviews or events, and let the audience decide what they believe. Of course, there's always some bias, just because the film makers have to decide what scenes to include, and in what context. But I like those sort more then ones that come across as fervent propaganda.

Bill Mahers work falls in the second category. He can make fun of Christians/Muslims/Jews all he wants, but he didn't fact check his own work. The film was also peppered with images of nuclear weapons, in order illustrate how dangerous religion is. Of course, anyone with any sense knows that the world is more complicated then that, and that there are more impotent factors to global violence then religion. Maher doesn't back up his statements with strong facts. He then pretends this is okay because he's a comedian. Essentially he arrogantly believes he's correct, but he rarely offers a strong argument. Bless the late Christopher Hitchens for giving us this moment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECI4QK_mXA

Anyway, I consider myself an agnostic, but there's a strain of anti-theism that really grinds my gears. It really shouldn't matter what you believe.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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GabeZhul said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Room 237, which compiles just about every stupid conspiracy theory surrounding the making of The Shining.
Wasn't that something of a tongue-in-cheek parody documentary where they looked up the crazy theorists not because they believed in their stories but just for the lulz? At least the people I heard discussing this said it was entertaining and not serious.
I don't know how serious it was meant to be. Honestly I was entertained by it, I just thought it was incredibly stupid too.
 

Super Cyborg

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Jul 25, 2014
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Fox12 said:
Super Cyborg said:
I like documentaries that just show us interviews or events, and let the audience decide what they believe. Of course, there's always some bias, just because the film makers have to decide what scenes to include, and in what context. But I like those sort more then ones that come across as fervent propaganda.

Bill Mahers work falls in the second category. He can make fun of Christians/Muslims/Jews all he wants, but he didn't fact check his own work. The film was also peppered with images of nuclear weapons, in order illustrate how dangerous religion is. Of course, anyone with any sense knows that the world is more complicated then that, and that there are more impotent factors to global violence then religion. Maher doesn't back up his statements with strong facts. He then pretends this is okay because he's a comedian. Essentially he arrogantly believes he's correct, but he rarely offers a strong argument. Bless the late Christopher Hitchens for giving us this moment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECI4QK_mXA

Anyway, I consider myself an agnostic, but there's a strain of anti-theism that really grinds my gears. It really shouldn't matter what you believe.
The bolded part is the crux of the problem with many documentaries, and just general society. You get a documentary about one focus on a subject, acting as it's the main reason for the problem. People latch on to that idea and tacit as he truth. As with Super Size Me, it's the aspect of McDonalds being unhealthy and the cause of all problems. Stuff such as self-control, talking about other cheaper/healthier options, and lack of education aren't even considered.

While I'm in the Marine Biology field, I find it hard to talk about animal captivity with most people. I've never seen it before, but lots of people point to Black Fish and say that's the reason for no animal captivity. One idea is tossed out and an issue is simplified. This is also why I can't stand US politics these days from both politicians and people on both sides.
 

Mangod

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Feb 20, 2011
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rorychief said:
Sun, sex and satan. It's a british documentary about the island of Jersey whereby the filmmaker explores the idea that the royal family and illuminati are using the island as a child farm for their sex rituals.

The premise is that Jersey is a hybrid of shadow over Innsmouth, resident evil four and the wickerman.The guy runs around a pleasant seaside town yelling questions about paedophile cults at bewildered holiday goers, claiming everyone's complicit in the conspiracy and too afraid to speak out, and running away from interviews halfway through because unseen off camera forces were amassing on their location, always ending with a breathy 'we managed to get out of there in the nick of time.'

Highlights include:
Stopping the van because they passed a garden filled with garden ornaments, some of the ornaments were statues of naked children and obvious totems for the worship of paedophilia. Didn't knock on the door to ask about the ornaments though, just zoomed in on them from afar because of how perilous the situation was.

Sneaking around the grounds of the old insane asylum, now a well taken care of historical site and community centre, and peering in the arts and crafts room window to spot some kind of vile demonic effigy (A child's clumsily sculpted clay mask) and getting out of there before things got too hot, instead of you know, asking at the desk for a tour because its a public building.

Finding an actual statue of the devil or satyr, no background on why the statue was commissioned or what it has to do with local folklore, just description of the foul presence it totally emanates in the film maker's head that the camera probably isn't picking up. He then does a speech/sermon/incantation where he tells the statue get out of my head I am a servant of christ.

A convincing argument that the queen worships cthulu and the royal navy is her elite eldritch guard. This is based on the fact that a law was passed which keeps people from being discharged from the navy based on their religious beliefs, and thus allowing the satanist scourge to fester and spread through the ranks while the pious are left with no legal recourse to purge them.
... Sun, Sex and Satan, you say? Ok, I have to watch this now, because it sounds gloriously shitty.

Personally, I can't remember the name, but it was a documentary about the first Mongol invasion of Japan. And I remember how every 10-15 minutes, it would cut (or at least flash up the documentary's logo in preparation for cutting) to commercial, and when it resumed, it'd go over the exact. Same. Material. It had just covered before the break.

I can only assume it was a documentary for people with flat zero attention span.
 

KissingSunlight

Molotov Cocktails, Anyone?
Jul 3, 2013
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I like to take a moment to defend "soapbox" documentaries. I don't mind if the director is approaching the subject matter from a certain point of view. It's up to you to decide whether if he/she let their bias obscure the facts. With Michael Moore, all I hear from people who disagree with him are nitpicks. They haven't done anything to disprove his movies except to stamp their feet really loud and whine that he is bias.

My choice for worst documentary is Why Lie? I Need a Drink. The guy is trying to disprove the urban legend that people panhandling are making more than people working honest jobs and are scammers. The result of the movie proved the urban legend is correct. He screwed around through most of the movie wearing silly costumes panhandling with mixed results. He admits that he doesn't want to panhandle like a homeless person. When he finally does, he makes more money than a person working 8 hours at minimum wage. It's an interesting fail of a movie.