There is a big Turkey Preventing me from getting to my car for lunch!

[Xeros]

Why don't you just cook the turkey? It's right there, just bonk it, and throw it in the oven.

 

[Ithera]

Take it like a man, walk up to the car like you own it! You do own it don't you? Then act like it! If it comes to fisticuffs you are the superior fighting machine, the turkey is just lunch.

 

[Leviathan_]

Kill it.



Now.


Then eat it, it's lunch time after all right?

 

[drdamo]

If you really want to avoid a confrontation and accept that the turkey is superior towards yourself, then why not simply walk arround the parking lot, stealth your way towards your own car, with your car between you and the turkey at all times? Shouldn't be that hard.
If that fails, buy a kitten and use it as a decoy, let nature resolve this issue for you!

 

[splatterguy734]

You should PM a mod and report the fucker.

 

[Dok Zombie]

Run at it, shouting!

(Cookie for the very obscure reference.)

 

[Ekonk]

I'm interested to see how this will end.

 

[Kajt]

-snip-

I vote for hammer time!

 

[SNIPERFOX ft. Harry P.Ness]

*cough*

Need I say more?

LUNCH TIME!
stealth past it using ur mad l33t skillz.
ye do that and head for the car


in all seriuosnes back in russia kids who were afraid ran at it and trying to scare it.

try that

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Order a pizza?

Let whoever delivers it deal with the problem.

 

[Meggiepants]

You're just lucky there aren't a rafter of turkeys. That's how they traveled up in Michigan. And they were mean bastards. They attacked a guy I knew outside of his house. He ended up breaking his wrist from the fall.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I think it can smell my fear.

Oh it can. You'll be trying to sleep tonight, thinking that it's all over between you and the turkey, when you'll hear a beak tapping at your window...

 

[Soxafloppin]

Dress up like Santa, you will smell its fear

 

[Godspiel]

A few years back I watched a wild turkey eat a paint chip off my car. He could be there a while.

 

[Dok Zombie]

You should PM a mod and report the fucker.

God that amused me more than it should have...

 

[splatterguy734]

You should PM a mod and report the fucker.

God that amused me more than it should have...

Good that means I won't die a failure.

 

[Mray3460]

You are a member of a species that has wiped out countless others to become the dominant biological force on the earth, spread over 6 of the 7 continents (Still working on Antarctica), and managed to harness the very matter that makes up our planet as a weapon...and you can't just charge a single turkey and kick it if it doesn't yield?

...I don't get this...

 

[manaman]

Wait. So I had to camoflauge myself, be as silent as a church mouse, stand still for half an hour, ticks bite me and I still don't catch a turkey? There's one right in front of you! People get all the luck.

Wild turkey walk through my fields all the time, and yes I have shot more then one of them.

(Still working on Antarctica)

There are research stations in Antarctic, nearly 50 of them are occupied year round.

OT: I would regret that my work does not allow me to bring my shotgun inside and thus it would still be in my truck which was guarded by the turkey (I might scare the monkeys). You know if I was in your position that is.