Kathinka said:It's rooted in biology. Girls, generally speaking, like assertive, confident, aggressive guys. It's just how it is. Those, that in the cave man days could have slain the mammoth, taken their share of the berries, produced healthy offspring and defended the tribe with a spear.
Obviously, we don't live in caves anymore. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it was only the day before yesterday that we did, so these qualities are still ingrained into our brains as desirable. Wonder why the hot girls so often end up dating the jerks? Because jerkdom and these qualities often overlap.
"wonder why the hot girls so often end up dating the jerks?" This is a line that annoys me, not saying from you, as it usually precedes "and they treat them like shit and i'm so nice why don't they like me"
I'm a confident guy and have been accused of having this outer jerk, brosef exterior and i've heard this line about me. Can i be a jerk to people i don't like, well yeah i can be an arse. Am i a cheeky asshole to my GF in public sometimes, well yeah, im a cheeky asshole in public sometimes, so's she. However, when we are one on one, alone in the house you would be sickened by the cutesiness on display. And that's what is important at the end of the day. How you and your partner are alone together.
I know there are people out there that act all honorable and knightly in public with their GF's but at home are complete monsters.
OT: I believe "manliness" is a confidence issue and self awareness issue. Like most on here i was into comics, games and nerd culture "before it was cool" and never had a problem because i didn't care that other folks thought it was sad, i knew that others thought it was weird, but because i just did't care i was still one of the "cool kids"(god i hate that phrase).
I think alot of the toxic side of it comes from a lack of self awareness, especially the anti girly, homo/transphobic side of things. It seems alot of folks think that if they act "girly" or enjoy "gay culture" or heaven forbid find a transexual attractive then that means they are gay. It can be confusing and confusion breeds hostility to whats confusing them. It's why i think Bailey Jay becoming so famous is a great thing, she's exposing more guys to the fact that, "hell, she may still have a penis but my god is she a beautiful woman"