Those one liners that cause you to *facepalm*.

Falseprophet

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A mother and her 5 or 6-year-old child are in line at the checkout. The child is yammering about the CGI movie Madagascar. At one point, the mother says, "Oh honey, Madagascar isn't a real place!" [facepalm]
 

ConstantJoe

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Apr 10, 2009
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Did you hear about the guy who won $5000?


He spend 4 and a half grand on hookers and drink,


Then he wasted the rest!



(damn, doesn't really work written down)
 

Florion

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Dec 7, 2008
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richasr said:
Florion said:
Oooh, oooh. I have two. They go together though. Does it still count as a one-liner?

English-class sheet of university essay screw-ups: "Pythagasaurus was the father of the triangle."
Student: Congratulations, it's a triangle!

Also, I watched one intro to CSI: Miami and never again.

Cop: Looks like she was a hooker. Working in the streets.
That Guy: (removes glasses) :/ Not anymore.

Edit: Oh, oh, and: "It's eating her! And then it's going to eat me! Oh my goooooooo-oooooood!"
->incidentally, did you know that God is just Guard with an English accent? Er, for those of you who don't already have English accents?
Eh? Guard is still... Guard when spoken with an English accent, should this confuse me?
Yes, but it sounds like "God" because that's where the word comes from! I was in Paris on a field trip and one of the buildings had "Dieu" in the name, but they translated it as "Guard" which confused me because I thought Dieu meant "God" and then it hit me...
 

richasr

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Dec 13, 2007
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Florion said:
richasr said:
Florion said:
Oooh, oooh. I have two. They go together though. Does it still count as a one-liner?

English-class sheet of university essay screw-ups: "Pythagasaurus was the father of the triangle."
Student: Congratulations, it's a triangle!

Also, I watched one intro to CSI: Miami and never again.

Cop: Looks like she was a hooker. Working in the streets.
That Guy: (removes glasses) :/ Not anymore.

Edit: Oh, oh, and: "It's eating her! And then it's going to eat me! Oh my goooooooo-oooooood!"
->incidentally, did you know that God is just Guard with an English accent? Er, for those of you who don't already have English accents?
Eh? Guard is still... Guard when spoken with an English accent, should this confuse me?
Yes, but it sounds like "God" because that's where the word comes from! I was in Paris on a field trip and one of the buildings had "Dieu" in the name, but they translated it as "Guard" which confused me because I thought Dieu meant "God" and then it hit me...
Maybe it's just my accent then, northerner as I am.
 

VonBrewskie

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Apr 9, 2009
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Watching the Eddie Griffin (Griffith? How do you spell his last name?) video where he smashes up the Ferrari Enzo.
 

Amarok

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hiram88 said:
Mr Bacon said:
Oh wait, discussion... Erm, I guess the time we were given a written spelling test in my English class. As in, it was written... i.e. "spell onomatapaeia" WTF... We all kinda think our teacher was high when she came up with it. Worst part is, some people got some WRONG!
Wait...what? You're complaining that the test was hard, and then say that some people got some questions wrong was the worst part? *facepalm*

You, sir, are fail
He spelled it wrong too. It's onomatopoeia. Scary thing is, this forum has a built-in spell-check.
I get that the complaint was that the test was written and therefore easy but still man, the forum. has. a spell-check!

While I have no specific examples, I do know a guy, as I'm sure we all do, who will stay completely silent during any spirited group discussion, then when silent, will go "*chuckle*, yeah! [insert topic at hand here]" as though to try and pretend he'd offered something meaningful and had a personality.
 

SuperTim

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A girl in my science class asked.
"can you like...you know go up to space and touch a star?"
 

super_mumbles

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"Concept art is the worst unlockable. I don't care how the game was made, I just want to play it"

Said by a Games Design student in a Games Design Lecture
 

Rand-m

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Feb 8, 2009
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Everything my grandpa says.

"I used to go to one store, but now I go to them all! (The mall haha)"
"Something that's illegal is just like a sick bird. (Ill eagle haha)"

And everything else. (Play on words haha)