Tips for visiting England

Wadders

New member
Aug 16, 2008
3,796
0
0
HerefordEscapistMan said:
Come to the quaint little city called Hereford... Actually don't it is awful, ha.
Being from Shrewsbury, I agree - don't go to Hereford, it's horrendous.

By all means come to Shrewsbury though, it's lovely here! ;)

[small] Sorry HerefordEscapistMan, couldn't resist![/small]

OT:

I'd also suggest getting to a local football match but the season won't start until after you leave.

Also, this is vaguely amusing - an American friend had it posted on their Facebook and whilst it's pretty tongue in cheek some of it does ring true, especially the part about toning it down; you guys are sometimes way too loud :p

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/what-to-do-when-you-move-to-the-uk?utm_source=vicefb

Try some beer too. Not just lager, but the bitters and ales that have strange or interesting pictures on their pumps. Just ask the bar staff, and they usually give you free samples.

I know it's a bit warm for Americans, but try it anyway ha!

Also, the south is expensive, so be prepared to pay through the nose for virtually everything. The midlands and the north are much cheaper, but I'm guessing you wont be venturing away from the south-east, as tourists rarely seem to do.
 

Super Kami Guru

New member
Aug 10, 2011
76
0
0
Whilst not a guide to coming to England for Americans, this should highlight some important differences and our attitudes towards Yanks in a humourous way.

Email from the Queen:
an important announcement regarding the USA (Her Madge's Royal Ruling!)



To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us f*****g mad for decades!
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season (not cranberries or pineapple!)

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!
 

Griffolion

New member
Aug 18, 2009
2,207
0
0
archiebawled said:
Griffolion said:
-Southern people are generally miserable, I'm sorry you aren't coming to the north.
-Do come and visit the north, such as Manchester. The people are just better.
-Be sure to have fish and chips while you're over, but only in the north, where they are done properly.
I really hope these are jokes. Just in case though:

- People in the south are generally more reserved than those in the north, but that doesn't make them miserable. There are other broad differences as well, but nothing to worry about unless you're going to be spending a long time in England.
- "just better" says nothing of any substance.
- Fish and chips are fine in the south.
Wow, try to calm yourself. Look at the entirety of my post and you'll see it's got a big undertone of jest in there. The one that really should have given it away is the rugby one. Seriously, deep breaths.
 

Griffolion

New member
Aug 18, 2009
2,207
0
0
archiebawled said:
Oh, that's the north east, they are THE WORST. JK. Yeah, the whole north/south divide is nothing but a point of jest for right-thinking people. If you're really going to treat someone worse because of where they came from within your own country then there's more problems there than just intolerance to anyone south of you.
 

HerefordEscapistMan

New member
Sep 24, 2010
71
0
0
Wadders said:
Oh my a Shrew! I would never of thought I would find one of you guys here!
But to what you were saying; It is alright you can take the free publicity, us herefordians are kind like that.
 

Crispee

New member
Nov 18, 2009
462
0
0
Having been to America once, one difference I noticed was that portions in England are smaller. So a large Coke over here would be called a medium in America etc, not sure if this is Universal though.
 

Leftnt Sharpe

Nick Furry
Apr 2, 2009
560
0
0
If you want to see great scenery then the Lake District is one of the most beautiful places in the world in my opinion.

I may be a little biased, but a ride on a heritage railways is worth a look if you like living history. We tend to take them for granted, but foreigners seem to be very impressed by them, although the quality varies from line to line. There is a good map here: http://www.heritage-railways.com/map.php
 

Beat14

New member
Jun 27, 2010
417
0
0
Want to make some small talk, talk about the weather, chances our though who ever you're talking to will have already mentioned it.

I hope you enjoy you time, but I'm not a southerner and can't suggest anything and don't really know much about the areas you are near.

Fish and chips are nice, but it tastes so much better when it's freshly fried, so I would guess go for lunch at a "chippy" and try time it so you catch a fresh batch. World of difference in the meal :)

Feel really lame not being able to think of anything. I'm sure you will find plenty of interesting historical things in London. British Museum is meant to have a very fine collection, so even if your not normally into that sort of thing, it's probably worth checking out.

When you go out in groups people tend to take it in turn to buy rounds of drinks. Offering to get a round in will probably go down well, and normal people of our culture buy another round back/take it in turns.
 

Gauntlets28

New member
Aug 2, 2013
71
0
0
Well then, let's see. As a previous poster said, why not go north for a bit. I wouldn't say Manchester's the scenic route, but northerners are quite lovely a lot of the time. Especially if you buy them a drink!
Let's talk about football fans. Make sure you don't inadvertently offend a Millwall fan. They will kick your teeth out and use them as knuckledusters to beat you up again.
Next, prepare for tea. Not to the extent you might stereotypically expect (we have heard of coffee!), but it's there, always watching, always waiting for the kettle to click into life.
And finally, and I kid you not, the South Coast has lots of fine coastal resorts, Brighton being one of them, but try not to stray too far of the main roads at night. Most of them have rather unpleasantly high crime rates. Brighton included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZoYUQSU38E