Transgender Q & A

[bioshockedcriticjrr]

I hope you folks don't mind if I ask you some more personal matters. I hope you don't mind
Do you, or transgendered folks in general, ever face... advercity within the greater LGB community? Because I got that vibe in the "would you date a transexual" forum.
How did your family react to your decision to change your physical gender?
Are there any female to male transgendered amongst the Escapists? If so, don't be afraid to say so.
And lastly, how "feminine" do you prefer to be in terms of outwards appearance?

 

[bioshockedcriticjrr]

Is this the answer to the universe... Trans, cis.. none of that matters..we're all just Penguins deep down inside.

Well maybe you are. I just so happen to be a Reptilian. I DO so wish David Icke would stop blabbing to everyone. It's so annoying

 

[an annoyed writer]

Do you, or transgendered folks in general, ever face... advercity within the greater LGB community? Because I got that vibe in the "would you date a transexual" forum.
Also, how did your family react to your decision to change your gender?

LGBT groups are a bit "hit and miss" with us. Some are welcoming, while others are filled with hostility. With the ones filled with hostility, the general problem is what we already face in the larger world: misunderstandings are abound. Some think we work the same way as gay individuals: this is simply untrue. As such, some groups really don't like us.

As for the second question, my parents didn't take it well: there's something of an undercurrent of loathing between us right now and I have to tread lightly to work with them. My brother was a ton more accepting though, as to him it explained a few things he found odd about me. That's just my experience though.

 

[D Moness]

Is this the answer to the universe... Trans, cis.. none of that matters..we're all just Penguins deep down inside.

Can't we all be squirrels inside. I like squirrels more

 

[squeekenator]

Do you, or transgendered folks in general, ever face... advercity within the greater LGB community? Because I got that vibe in the "would you date a transexual" forum.

Yeah, since sexual orientation and gender identity aren't really related LGB people aren't really any more equipped than straight people when it comes to understanding trans people. The connection between LGB and T is a political alliance more than anything else, and while there are similarities there are also enough differences that LGB people can easily be just as transphobic as straight people. I personally haven't faced outright adversity, but it can be rather disconcerting to see something advertised as LGBT-friendly or LGBT-related or LGBT-whatever when it's actually entirely about sexuality.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Are there any female to male transgendered amongst the Escapists? If so, don't be afraid to say so.
And lastly, how "feminine" do you prefer to be in terms of outwards appearance?

Edited in a few more questions I see.

The majority of transgendered people answering this thread are Male-To-Female. And personally, I like my looks very feminine, with a Gothic touch.

 

[Flutterknight]

Who here, who is happily being open about being trans, is of what identity? (I'm a transman, since I should probably answer my own question.)

I'm as open about my gender identity as I can feasibly be, given that I don't live alone and work for a company that, when the time comes for my transition to start, will continue to employ me throughout this whole change. I do intend to change jobs after it's over, though, or just when my identity changes on a legal basis.

I actually have some questions myself for anyone who's post-op, as I've been pre-op for a couple of decades too long now and am looking to get started, but I'm not quite sure how.

1. How long did your transition take from start to finish and how much did it cost?
2. What exactly do I do to get started? I tried to see a therapist in order to get in touch with some doctors that could assign me hormone therapy, but that didn't really work. Not at that, anyway. I had some other issues with which the aforementioned therapist was immensely helpful.

As a transwoman who hasn't had the opportunity to start any form of transition, partly due to finances and partly due to just honestly not knowing where to start, I would appreciate it greatly if someone could answer (or at least as best possible, I know costs and such tend to vary a bit by region and all) these questions. It would be an incredible help to me and any others like me that may be around, I'm sure. ^_^

 

[tarantula]

An OP wrote, "...So it's a mental inability to grasp your true gender and a desire to fundamentally be the different gender...".

This remark, entirely by accident, perfectly conveys the fundamental struggle the TG faces: Most people think there's such a thing as "true gender" and that it is defined by whether one is concave or convex. This assumption is false. The best sociological, biological, and neurological science points up that we are all, to some degree, intersexed, in identity, in brain, and in genitalia; that gender is not entirely a cultural artifact; that both 'transsex' and 'transgender' carry semantic baggage that make them inadequate.

Taccer's comments on the three facets of sexuality back on page 4 are pretty spot on, though I'd like to add that none of these elements are binary, all are on a continuum.

More to come... but I must go feed my children...

 

[Jayemsal]

Are there any female to male transgendered amongst the Escapists? If so, don't be afraid to say so.
And lastly, how "feminine" do you prefer to be in terms of outwards appearance?

Edited in a few more questions I see.

The majority of transgendered people answering this thread are Male-To-Female. And personally, I like my looks very feminine, with a Gothic touch.

Are you me?

o_o

Though sometimes I maintain a pretty andro wardrobe, if I feel boring.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Are there any female to male transgendered amongst the Escapists? If so, don't be afraid to say so.
And lastly, how "feminine" do you prefer to be in terms of outwards appearance?

Edited in a few more questions I see.

The majority of transgendered people answering this thread are Male-To-Female. And personally, I like my looks very feminine, with a Gothic touch.

Are you me?

o_o

Though sometimes I maintain a pretty andro wardrobe, if I feel boring.

Woah.. okay, litmus test to see if I am you and vice-versa:

Are you a transgendered film-making writer-director whose best friends are a pyromaniacal ninja and a crazy gunsmith metalhead? If so, we should start worrying. If not, than we can simmer down.

But seriously, yeah I'm kinda in the same camp in terms of dress. The more stylish stuff just isn't well-suited for the weather.

 

[BathorysGraveland]

Yeah, I have a question. What is the general thought process about getting that final genital operation? I know there are many transsexuals that have everything changed except for the genitalia (there is a huge genre of porn like this commonly known as "Shemales") and I have to wonder the reason for this. Is it due to discomfort or is that one operation hugely expensive or what?

 

[an annoyed writer]

Yeah, I have a question. What is the general thought process about getting that final genital operation? I know there are many transsexuals that have everything changed except for the genitalia (there is a huge genre of porn like this commonly known as "Shemales") and I have to wonder the reason for this. Is it due to discomfort or is that one operation hugely expensive or what?

Part of the reason why there's some anxiety is because of the quality and cost of that operation. Here in the US we've mostly got cheap-asses that practice an old technique that doesn't look the best, doesn't self-lubricate, and loses sensation due to the crudeness of the operation. That is changing, but slowly, and like any surgery the good ones cost an obscene amount of money.

 

[Jayemsal]

Are there any female to male transgendered amongst the Escapists? If so, don't be afraid to say so.
And lastly, how "feminine" do you prefer to be in terms of outwards appearance?

Edited in a few more questions I see.

The majority of transgendered people answering this thread are Male-To-Female. And personally, I like my looks very feminine, with a Gothic touch.

Are you me?

o_o

Though sometimes I maintain a pretty andro wardrobe, if I feel boring.

Woah.. okay, litmus test to see if I am you and vice-versa:

Are you a transgendered film-making writer-director whose best friends are a pyromaniacal ninja and a crazy gunsmith metalhead? If so, we should start worrying. If not, than we can simmer down.

But seriously, yaeh I'm kinda in the same camp in terms of dress. The more stylish stuff just isn't well-suited for the weather.

My ninja is afraid of fire.

Phew, that was close.

 

[bioshockedcriticjrr]

Yeah, I have a question. What is the general thought process about getting that final genital operation? I know there are many transsexuals that have everything changed except for the genitalia (there is a huge genre of porn like this commonly known as "Shemales") and I have to wonder the reason for this. Is it due to discomfort or is that one operation hugely expensive or what?

Part of the reason why there's some anxiety is because of the quality and cost of that operation. Here in the US we've mostly got cheap-asses that practice an old technique that doesn't look the best, doesn't self-lubricate, and loses sensation due to the crudeness of the operation. That is changing, but slowly, and like any surgery the good ones cost an obscene amount of money.

with that in mind, have you had said surgery?

 

[an annoyed writer]

Yeah, I have a question. What is the general thought process about getting that final genital operation? I know there are many transsexuals that have everything changed except for the genitalia (there is a huge genre of porn like this commonly known as "Shemales") and I have to wonder the reason for this. Is it due to discomfort or is that one operation hugely expensive or what?

Part of the reason why there's some anxiety is because of the quality and cost of that operation. Here in the US we've mostly got cheap-asses that practice an old technique that doesn't look the best, doesn't self-lubricate, and loses sensation due to the crudeness of the operation. That is changing, but slowly, and like any surgery the good ones cost an obscene amount of money.

with that in mind, have you had said surgery?

Not yet. Need the money, and the right doctor. If I'm going to do it I may as well get the most out of it. I'm avoiding the cheapasses that use the old technique.

 

[peruvianskys]

This remark, entirely by accident, perfectly conveys the fundamental struggle the TG faces: Most people think there's such a thing as "true gender" and that it is defined by whether one is concave or convex. This assumption is false. The best sociological, biological, and neurological science points up that we are all, to some degree, intersexed, in identity, in brain, and in genitalia; that gender is not entirely a cultural artifact; that both 'transsex' and 'transgender' carry semantic baggage that make them inadequate.

I think the best sociological, biological, and neurological science suggests that "gender" is a social construct tied to observable physical biology.

I have a question for any transpeople here, specifically male-to-female transwomen (although that seems to be the majority here anyway!): Do you think your previous social experience as a man, and your experience of gender transition, has given you a perspective that sets you apart from women who were born physically female and experienced from birth the influence of their observable femininity?

 

[Raika]

I have a question for any transpeople here, specifically male-to-female transwomen (although that seems to be the majority here anyway!): Do you think your previous social experience as a man, and your experience of gender transition, has given you a perspective that sets you apart from women who were born physically female and experienced from birth the influence of their observable femininity?

Let me answer your question with another question.

Do you know how hard it is having mostly female friends and being the only one amongst them who finds farts funny?

 

[Psykoma]

I have a question for any transpeople here, specifically male-to-female transwomen (although that seems to be the majority here anyway!): Do you think your previous social experience as a man, and your experience of gender transition, has given you a perspective that sets you apart from women who were born physically female and experienced from birth the influence of their observable femininity?

Only if they talk about periods. I just stop talking when that happens.

I stop talking when sex comes up too, but that's more from being a virgin than being trans.

 

[tarantula]

"Do you think your previous social experience as a man, and your experience of gender transition, has given you a perspective that sets you apart."

What we can testify to better than anyone else, is the reality of sexism in even the most enlightened societies, that the level of respect and deference seen in both professional and private spheres is tightly correlated with perceived gender. MtoFs "become less" in every respect. It's still worth it, I'd never go back, even though I work harder for less pay, and often watch in wry amusement as an idiot's mumblings are taken as gospel, or while my ideas are attributed to the guy I had to lead by the nose to them.

Bear in mind, I am talking about people who entirely pass, whose current coworkers have known them only in their true gender, professionals whose work is just as good, whose experience and wisdom has only increased, but who suddenly find that they cannot speak more than a handful of words in a meeting without being interrupted. Cisgirls, if you've ever wondered if maybe you were just being "oversensitive", if you've questioned your capabilities, if you've wondered if your male coworker deserved the promotion you expected, I'm here to tell you that the sexism you felt is real and it's blatant.

FtoMs have reported the reverse, shocked by the sudden granting of respect as they finally appeared as their true selves.

 

[TheLion]

How are 'transgenders' ethically different from a white person getting surgery and claiming he's an African American or visa-versa?

Your argument is untenable. Being transgender has to do with the brain chemistry and brain anatomy concerning gender; masculinity and femininity. Being African American has more to do with contextualizing our position in American history than our physiology (Our physiology is only significant because American culture/history deemed it so). Or to put it simply: one is nature, the other is nurture.