Twilight Author Bored With Vampires

[Necromancer1991]

Meyer, just retire to your mansion, leave the supernatural to REAL horror writers (Like Stephen King, Salem's Lot FTW!)

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Fine, the Twilight books are written badly, but that can be excused as her writing in the style of a teenage girl, which she definitely isn't (and besides, maybe that's how she did write when she was younger...?). She still has time to prove to the masses that she can write well, after all...

Just because you intentionally did something poorly does not obviate it being poorly done. In fact, I'm more willing to forgive incompetence than I am willful neglect.

Yes, she may eventually prove to be a good author, but from where I'm sitting I'd say such a turn is unlikely at best.

 

[FaceFaceFace]

Haha, she never wrote about vampires in the first place, that's so funny. Look at classic folklore and the only definite feature of a vampire is bloodsucking. Don't get me wrong, I hate the series, but fictional creatures that date back hundreds of years are completely open to reinterpretation while still being whatever you say they are. It just so happens her reinterpretation was a stupid one. If they had done something badass rather than sparkle, you guys wouldn't be complaining.

 

[MattRooney06]

lol well i suppose thats what you get when you "take influnence" (read: steal) from about 80 other stories and then try and pass them off as your own

 

[Arehexes]

I can see the zombie thing already

Megan:Rick I want to go to the dance
Rick:MMzhzmmmmhmhhmhm *arm falls off*
Megan:Rick your arm...your moving to fast for me

 

[Arehexes]

I have seen enough. I am so tired of trained monkeys spitting the same garbage. "Oh! Meyer hasn't written about vampires!" "She fucked over werewolves!" "Don't mess with my zombies!" Give it a rest. Honestly, I don't like Twilight but I'll tell you something. Irrational hatred is real annoying. It's like everyone just says the same stuff to fit in. What everyone needs to do is shut up and read this quote: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend your right to the death to say it."-Voltaire. Yes. Meyer's vampires are not the vampires we know. They survive in the sunlight, and they don't need human blood. However, it's her stuff. They are her vampires. Do I think they are stupid? Yes. but that's me. Also, all of you say that she can't write for crap like you guys are better. Where are your works? If she is so garbage, write a book better than hers. If it's not hard, get a publisher to get your book out. I'd like to see that happening.

I should write a book about zombies that aren't really dead just really sick, and they bite people due to the sickness not to feed. With the male lead falling in love with a female zombie, and instead of a zombie apocalypse like what we should have. They are hated and scared for their lives by the non zombies. So the female zombie and the male human have to get together with his zombie hunting father willing to kill his own son and use him just to find the zombies hiding. Give me time I could write a story that would make zombies stupid sounding to, but you can't get mad since it's my story.

also this

http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/funny-facebook-twi-beastial.png

 

[AWAR]

 

[SpaceSpork]

Well, better late than never.

Basically, this. I got through about seven pages of the first book, and wasn't able to go further. No lie.

 

[Grachev]

 

[epsilon246]

Okay... let's not get ahead of ourselves.

A while back i tried to make it through the first book. everybody had told me it was a complete trashing of the vampire mythos (and it tottaly was). I got about 60 pages into that gorram thing and i could already feel my brain rotting

first off.

Seduction has ALWAYS been a part of Vampire lore. this is why vampires are so closly tied to sex .Most of the darker vampire stuff involves a vampire charming a girl taking her home and getting busy before sucking her blood and killing(or turing her)

So vampires being charming, ladys men was around way before Myers vommited all over it

and

reworking mythos is what keeps It so intresting. Vampires have been reworked in alot of ways(probably more then any other Mythological crature)

Let's Say you are putting a vampire in the book you are writting

is your vampire undead, or still alive. does he turn to into one bat, or alot of bats, or no bats at all. does he slowly die slowly in the sun, or does he burn up instantly. hell some even just simply become weaker in the son.

Why do they suck blood. do they have some sort of anemic condition where they lack iron, or are they actually just sucking the "life force"

I could go on and on

want me to run through the checklist of things that may or may not kill/harm your vampire(if anything).

I guess my point is we can't hate on her for trying to change vampires. all though myers was a dead shitty end. could you imagine how bored we would all be of vampires if they were still like dracula.

Now onto what we can hate. her boring ploting, her boring, flat, static characters. Her terrible detailing... Etc. I hate these books just as much as any of you. this book especially has made other lonely female authors start rushing out more of the same. I really wish they were not in exsitence

She then kills all that by making them sparkle, vampires don't need to be hurt by the sun but there is one key aspect of the mythos in all iterations they are creatures of the night and they detest the sun (especially aparent if they aren't vulnerable to it). Vampire mythos may be wide and varied, but this doesn't even come close. Never mind her attempting and failing miserably to justify the sparkles with science, which is my major bugbear with the series. I'm not going to go into detail but by trying (and failing) to apply science to one aspect of a supernatural creature you have to apply it to the rest of the aspects which becomes even more screwy. btw didn't intend to rant just kinda happened

I agree with everything you said really. Like i said i think her reworking was a "dead shitty end"

Mythos changes alot but. there is only so many changes you can make to a fish before it is no longer a fish

overall vampires have two strong characteristics that is the core.

A overwhelming urge for blood
and detest for the sun(for whatever reason)

and thank you for bringing up the whole science thing. I always loved when science is thrown into mythos. when people started doing this, the most notable change to vampire lore, specificly was instead of the vampire sucking your blood to give you the condition you had to drink it's blood. WHich if you go science route, Makes a hell of alot more sence. another notable change was that two things, holy water and crosses are now all but useless in vampire lore. even the more magic based stuff has scraped this because at then end of the day that particular part. MAKES NO SENCE.

less sence then sucking blood for a "life force"

(but like you said it's an all in or go home thing. If you use science once. use it everywhere. another thing myers failed at)

and that leads back to my point. some time stuff gets scraped because it makes no sence, and a cross, and holy water) no longer makes sence in this far less catholic(percentage wise)and far more science based westren culture. and some stuff gets added because it makes sence.A vampire lacking iron, makes tons of sence. Pale skin, desire for blood ect ect.

people are at myers throat because she "changed vampires". thats a bit to brod. yes hate her for turning vampires into "mopey solor powerd disco balls" but dont hate her for attempting to change because thats how mythos stays intresting

The hatred of holy artifiacts is derived from vampires, typically, being unholy creatures. Another thing is that vary's across the mythos, it's either the belief in the object or the object itself. As you say vampire lore is wide and varied, that is what keeps them interesting. More "scientific" vampires not fearing holy artifacts does make sense and is not to much of a variation to the mythos, the sharing of the blood thing makes it seem like an infection which also works very well. Though this whole venom thing is less apealing, it only would really work if injected through fangs... which they don't have. I don't hate myer for changing vampires, I hate her for bastardizing them and trying to use science to make it work.

 

[Renwold]

[...] Also, all of you say that she can't write for crap like you guys are better. Where are your works? If she is so garbage, write a book better than hers. If it's not hard, get a publisher to get your book out. I'd like to see that happening.

I really hate this argument: "You can't complain; you can't do any better!" Remember that the next time you play a shitty game or see some atrocious flash video on newgrounds.

Granted, most of the arguments against Twilight are unfounded. That said, Meyer really is a second-rate writer churning out what could be described as PULP at best. There's no depth to her stories, which is fine since she's just one of countless writers in that category. The tragedy is how successful she's been with it, when so many great works go by the wayside.

Someone mentioned earlier (Billion Backs) that Twilight is bad, "Not because [the fans] like soppy romance novels... but because they're declaring such shitty work of fiction as one of the best books ever. Probably due to the lack of experience when it comes to real literature."

Consider that 1 in 4 American adults will not read a book cover to cover this year (more accurate stats are hard to find, but you can safely extrapolate that from the oft-cited gallup poll). Many people can't read well enough to understand the information on a prescription bottle, so you might imagine that there are certain comprehension issues when it comes to an 800 page novel.

Meyer's success stems in part from her subject matter, but also from the (embarrassingly low) level of writing that she employs, and that's what's scary. People who otherwise would never be reading are picking up these books and thinking they're the deepest, most cerebral stories of romance ever written, and they swear their allegiance to Meyer without even picking up another piece of literature (not necessarily Tolstoy or Nabokov, but maybe something contemporary like Gaiman).

There's your tragedy.

 

[Renwold]

Sorry for the double post, but also:

I can see the zombie thing already

Megan:Rick I want to go to the dance
Rick:MMzhzmmmmhmhhmhm *arm falls off*
Megan:Rick your arm...your moving to fast for me

Arehexes, you should check out Pride and Prejudice and Zombies if you haven't yet. I haven't had a chance to read it but I've read the original and I can't possibly imagine how a zombified Mr. Darcy could be any worse than a living one. http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347

 

[Cherry Cola]

Also, all of you say that she can't write for crap like you guys are better. Where are your works? If she is so garbage, write a book better than hers. If it's not hard, get a publisher to get your book out. I'd like to see that happening.

You say that if we can't write better we shouldn't complain about her writing, yet your supposed "argument" against everyone else is so awful it's like you're trying to disprove Darwin by saying "God doesn't agree with you".

You clearly can't argue better than anyone else on this thread, so by your logic, any point you just made is invalid and worthless.

 

[Steel_crab]

Also, all of you say that she can't write for crap like you guys are better. Where are your works? If she is so garbage, write a book better than hers. If it's not hard, get a publisher to get your book out. I'd like to see that happening.

You say that if we can't write better we shouldn't complain about her writing, yet your supposed "argument" against everyone else is so awful it's like you're trying to disprove Darwin by saying "God doesn't agree with you".

You clearly can't argue better than anyone else on this thread, so by your logic, any point you just made is invalid and worthless.

True. Just because none of us are authors doesn't mean she is a good one. Logic.

 

[Audioave10]

Zombies are much better if done right.

 

[WaderiAAA]

Well, why not - considering half the movie cast already hates it, why shouldn't the author as well (yeah, I know that is an exaggeration)

"She doesn't want to be typecast as that author that created a massively popular series about bloodsuckers that can passionately kiss."

You know, I'm really feeling sorry for her reading this. She'll have a really hard time not being typecast as that now. I'll be impressed if she succeeds.

 

[Upbeat Zombie]

Thanks for keeping me up to date with bad authors, and how they feel...
but what does this have to do with video games?

 

[Necromancer1991]

Look, there is a pretty big distinction between "vampires" and "gay, emo, sparkly people, who sometimes drink blood." However, I do get the point you're trying to make. But I didn't say her books weren't shitacular, I said her portrayal of vampires does them no honor.

Thanks for clarifying. I shall get off this boat at once.

Pip pip, cherio!

Sorry, I'm just pissed at the moment.

Oh no, I'm pissed too. For different reasons =p

People like you, no offense, are the people that make me want to move away from the Twilight hate-dom. I'm all for diversity in fantasy creatures and for various creative alterations done by the authors - re-reading Dracula or Lord of The Rings whenever you touch any fantasy or vaguely vampire-related book is the last thing I want to do... Authors should be creative, they should not let some idiotic pre-made archetypes stick so hard.

Now simply offensively bad writing, it's a good reason to hate Twilight for. It's fanbase, too. Not because they like soppy romance novels - it's simply not most guys' thing. But because they're declaring such shitty work of fiction as one of the best books ever. Probably due to the lack of experience when it comes to real literature, but still. Urgh. Ignorance.

Not meaning to offend, and stuff.

OK, aside from you're whole "Vampires can be whatever you want them to be" argument people also hate the whiny helpless female lead who can't so much as tie her own shoes without help from Dracula or the wolf-man, they also hate how the vampire comes across as a emo douche. Also the plot is are as Moviebob put it " Formula, stacked on cliche, stacked on Bull$#@!"

 

[Fbuh]

What a coincidence; we're bored with Twilight.

NEXT.

Okay, they've ruined vampires. On to space marines!

She'll have to wait her turn. The modern FPS has been spoiling those for the past five years.

Yes, but now they have a golden opportunity to glitter when they hit sunlight.