Twilight Author Bored With Vampires

[ckam]

Man, can't she just admit that she sucks and then stop trying to be an author? Nobody would die in this solution.

 

[Nuke_em_05]

Do not use:

Ninjas
Zombies
Mummies
Norse Gods
Greek/Roman Gods
Comic Book Super Heroes
H.P. Lovecraft

Feel free, however, to write on;

Witches
Office workers
Farmers
Chupacabra
and BLTs no no... tuna fish sandwiches... umm... umm... egg-salad sandwiches?

add BLTs to "do not" list.
as well as Egyptian Gods

 

[tamerman]

Do not use:

Ninjas
Zombies
Mummies
Norse Gods
Greek/Roman Gods
Comic Book Super Heroes
H.P. Lovecraft

Feel free, however, to write on;

Witches
Office workers
Farmers
Chupacabra
and BLTs no no... tuna fish sandwiches.

add BLTs to "do not" list.

but... but... i LIKE tuna fish sandwitches

edit: and what about egyption gods?

 

[Nuke_em_05]

Do not use:

Ninjas
Zombies
Mummies
Norse Gods
Greek/Roman Gods
Comic Book Super Heroes
H.P. Lovecraft
Egyptian Gods
BLTs
and Tuna Fish Sandwiches

Feel free, however, to write on;

Witches
Office workers
Farmers
Chupacabra
Egg Salad Sandwiches

but... but... i LIKE tuna fish sandwitches

edit: and what about egyption gods?

Better?

 

[tamerman]

Do not use:

Ninjas
Zombies
Mummies
Norse Gods
Greek/Roman Gods
Comic Book Super Heroes
H.P. Lovecraft
Egyptian Gods
BLTs
and Tuna Fish Sandwiches

Feel free, however, to write on;

Witches
Office workers
Farmers
Chupacabra
Egg Salad Sandwiches

but... but... i LIKE tuna fish sandwitches

edit: and what about egyption gods?

Better?

much. thank you

 

[Buddahcjcc]

The difference between Vampires and what she wrote about (sparkly emo teenagers who occasionally drink blood) is that Vampires dont actually exist in real life, where sparkly (especially at the right clubs), emo people that drink blood DO exist in real life.

Theres a neat nonfiction book called "Piercing the Darkness, Undercover with Vampirea in America Today" by Katherine Ramsland that goes in depth with these types

 

[Grounogeos]

Two things:
First, I don't see how she can be sick of vampires when her books HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING VAMPIRES IN THEM.

Second... I get the impression that she's not just satisfied with slandering vampires. Now she's looking for a new fantasy creature to ruin.

 

[ninjajoeman]

well zombie goth chicks are better then vampire girls... no wait there not but its atleast funnier. Just think, "Hey so hows being forever devoted to being a vampire." "shutttttuppppp" "brains...."

and remember that thing with south park and the tweenies and the goths...

think about this what do we have now adays thats like being dressed up as an animal covered in fur so your a werewolf.... yea you know what I mean...Lumberjacks

 

[Sable Rhapsody]

Let's just all agree it would be much better for the world of literature if she simply got bored of writing.

Hear hear. A prayer to the gods of literacy and public decency, then, that she remains bored with vampires, and indeed becomes so bored with writing that she never writes a word and just disappears into the American desert with her indecent amounts of wealth.

 

[Nikolai Smirnov]

I swear to god, if she even thinks about touching Ninjas or zombies I will set her house on fire.

Twice.

I was just about to say that. Figures.

 

[little bear]

Jesus back-fliping christ. what irony... on one end my happy ms.meyer's wants to leave the twilight universe (hopefully for good) but now i have 2 worry about her shitting on anything else i like. i could always plead the the vamps in twilight are gothic-pixies but if she decides 2 write about something awesome...like ninjas?

Have you read the host? thats about aliens I believe 0o

never heard of it. send me a link via forum mail.

 

[siddif]

I agree that her interpretation of vampires were nothing near most examples and i am really annoyed that a whole generation is gonna grow up thinking this is how vampires and werewolves really are.

Uh...I really hate to be the one to break this to you...but vampires and werewolves...well...

But seriously, most of people's whining is just threatened masculinity. Who cares if these vampires don't play by the (not as old as you think) rules? Does Alucard from Hellsing? I've heard his name tossed about but his obedience to 'vampire lore' seems as tenuous as Edward Cullen's. He pretty much chooses when to be a vampire and when to disregard a vampire rule. Twilight vampires seem to be beguiling, manipulative, understated and attractive. That is a vampire.

I already wrote about this before so I'll quote myself:

This is something I take issue with actually (in a perfectly academic friendly way, not in the "laying the ITG smackdown" way!) when it's discussed. A lot of people on this site are too young to have read or seen vampire fiction at the correct age and missed it, but almost all 'traditional' vampire fiction has a massive sexual element.

Vampires are a very sexual villain, they aren't the mindless emotionless killers that people on here seem to think. Vampires are the threat of rape and death in the dark places, the flicker of fear and desire when a stranger talks you in to leaving a pub with them. Vampires are the thing your rational mind screams at you to run from, but that your lust and subconscious want to give in to.

I sometimes wonder if people intentionally overlook that aspect of their character through a fear of the subject or social awkwardness, but vampires are the closest fictional creature to the sexual predator. Perhaps it's a pubescent 'male' thing, people want manly villains that kill everyone and doesn't afraid of anything. Vampires aren't interchangeable with werewolves and aliens, vampires represent a specific and very visceral human fear.

Spoiler: Links to three articles discussing the most common female sexual fantasies. NSFW and of questionable merit and semi-graphic description.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fantasy#Gender_differences
http://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa/27c_love_secrets.html
http://www.healthyplace.com/sex/psychology-of-sex/womens-top-ten-sexual-fantasies/menu-id-1482/page-2/

These links seem to indicate that the most common female fantasies involve the ILLUSION of being 'forced' so you can see how the vampire would be an alluring subject for fantasies. But in order to be written for they have to have a personality or a drive. Vampires will have motivations and were once human. It makes sense that they would have human feelings (or at least the ability to emulate them, in new Moon Alice actually gives Bella a lecture on how well designed vampires are to prey on humans) and in this context the modern books are more in line with traditional vampire lore than is obvious at first glance. Vampires aren't an alien species, they are perverted and corrupted humans, the strangers you were always warned about as a kid. A vampire would have feelings and goals of their own and the prospect of a vampire falling in love with a human is broadly plausible and very sexually appealing to the target audience.

EDIT: In fact Edward seduces Bella, enthralls her, draws her away from her family and turns her. Is this a traditional vampire story in second person I wonder?

EDIT EDIT: So many people seem to miss the point of the vampire. That it drinks blood isn't the scary bit or the defining feature, it's how it gets to the blood and what it does to it's victim!

I am a media student and i know of the allusions between vampires and sex and while your retort to my comment was quite loose did bring up something worth replying to.

Vampires have always been linked to sex yes and the whole idea of once you get bitten your never as you were (akin to losing virginity) as well as various references to penetration (teeth, stakes) but Twilight does the opposite and pairs them into little monogamous relationships and not biting until given consent and fighting the primal urges turning them into nothing but functional members of society that happen to be immortal and have sharp teeth.

I was not referring to any specific characterisation of vampires in my original post but i do generally think of the European folklore (as i do live that continent) and the Nosferatu/Dracula era stories too and the Twilight vampires are a watered down version of this, turning what are practically rapist daemons into loveable heart throbs even more so than other modern interpretations.

 

[Grafin Drachen]

She should have realised this when she wrote the first book...

 

[LgZeldA]

Also, all of you say that she can't write for crap like you guys are better. Where are your works? If she is so garbage, write a book better than hers. If it's not hard, get a publisher to get your book out. I'd like to see that happening.

You say that if we can't write better we shouldn't complain about her writing, yet your supposed "argument" against everyone else is so awful it's like you're trying to disprove Darwin by saying "God doesn't agree with you".

You clearly can't argue better than anyone else on this thread, so by your logic, any point you just made is invalid and worthless.

True. Just because none of us are authors doesn't mean she is a good one. Logic.

i didn't say she was good. im just saying that everyone here is complaining about mediocrity, and is doing nothing to stop it. does complaining get you anywhere? last time i checked, no. so go out there and do something. im tryin to cut off her fingers and cut out her tongue. what are you whiners doing?