Twilight Author Bored With Vampires

[Jaebird]

Maybe she can do Frankenstein's Monster. You know, she can make him not be a cobbled-together, flesh golem who's powered by electricity and instead have him be a misunderstood person with a horrendous face who falls in love with a blind girl, and maybe have Cher be his best friend... Wait...

 

[Akalistos]

Okay, they've ruined vampires. On to space marines!

No. No... Not space marine. I want her to team up with Uwe boll

 

[SideSlyGuy]

What a coincidence; we're bored with Twilight.

NEXT.

Okay, they've ruined vampires. On to space marines!

She'll have to wait her turn. The modern FPS has been spoiling those for the past five years.

but there is the twist!

Vampiric werewolves who join the marines and somehow through a series of hilarious events, end up on a space ship and get teleported back in time to 1950's suburban America!

Even if she wrote that she'd make so much money just because of peoples sick curiosity. Hell I'd pay money for a story like that.

 

[quantumsoul]

I bet its space aliens next. A space alien tries to blend in as a high school student to study us and winds up falling in love with some girl, who's pretty but doesn't realize it. Together he discovers love and she discovers she was beautiful all along.

You all saw it here first folks. I'll expect royalties from Mayer if this becomes true.

 

[Akalistos]

Wait wait wait wait wait. Twilight was about VAMPIRES?!

P.S. I'm loving the suggestions about where to go next, I can just imagine the zombie or mummy Twilight:

"Imhotep, I love you"

"URRRRGH"

See should, that the only thing that didn't have a date with the crazy chick from the film.

 

[Quaxar]

Okay, they've ruined vampires. On to space marines!

Oh, sweet sparkly Space Marine soft-porn. It's new, it's fresh, it's... sparkling. I like that idea!

OT: to quote an old sea dog:
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/9/9e/HA_HA_HA,_OH_WOW.jpg/500px-HA_HA_HA,_OH_WOW.jpg

LOL nice one there, miss reading those comics

Yes, the Adventures of Tintin are great comics. You should read them all again, even though some are incredibly racist compared to our standards.

 

[Ih8pkmn]

Maybe she finally got arrested for Necrophilia?

 

[miscelaneous]

Uh-oh...I'm sensing some terrifying Chupacabra fan girls in the very near future...

I sense fan-fiction.

 

[Mr. Grey]

If you're against sparkling vampires you're against evolution. There, I said it. They essentially evolved to be the perfect predator, they're basically a venus fly trap and we're the flies. As for werewolves... I'm pretty sure that's an offshoot of bestiality gone horribly, horribly right -- or wrong depending upon whether or not you believe the end justifies the means.[footnote]It does... considering they are the only things that can kill that which you hate most.[/footnote]

I'm by no means defending her writing, but she does have very interesting ideas. Shame she executed them -- by that I mean killed them. Then there's the characters being more shallow than a dried up puddle, the lack of coherent plot, the fact it goes on for pages of "OMIGOD!1! Edward!11!one!" and then there's the whole Mary Sue thing that is also a self insert. Like I said, her writing is atrocious... but given time perhaps she can competently deliver her ideas. Yet this series - it is not a freaking saga - will haunt her forever and I'm content with that.

 

[spikespiegel]

Wow, haven't seen that in years

 

[Therumancer]

I can't really blame her, I'm bored with Vampires myself.

I was actually getting bored with them before she started writing them, though her "coke and pepsi" take on the modern "sooo goth to be dead" artsy-emo-romantic vampire thing did help to cement my boredom and ensure I probably won't be interested in vampire fiction for at least a decade or so to come at least.

Truthfully though, I'd imagine her claims of being "bored" probably are a marketing gimmick to generate hype for the next book. Get people all invested in begging her to do it, and it will keep the energy going, generate free viral advertisement, etc... such is my suspician.

Honestly though, just because she's bored with Vampires, doesn't mean she'd be interested in going on to do another gothic romance thing with another supernatural creature. To be honest she strikes me as a natural for the "powder puff" sword and sorcery circuit. Or maybe she'll try and get her "Yaoi" on by seeing if she can out-do Mercedes Lackey's "The Last Herald Mage" series.

If she must go the horror route, maybe she won't even do undead. I mean just imagine a re-envisioning of "Creature From The Black Lagoon" except where it's somehow sexy and tragic, and enters the high school swimming pool at night where lonely girls begin to congregate and form a cult in it's honor...

Or given that it's public domain, maybe she'll take the Cthulhu Mythos and turn it into a teen romance. You know, someone about how Hastur stole Cthulhu's boyfriend or whatever and then put her to sleep for a few millenia, only to wake up and go looking to re-win the heart Azathoth the crawling chaos, and engage Hastur (now center of the universe) in the cat fight to end all cat fights (Meow!). Get some human characters involved to hang out in coffee shops so they can chatter with Cthulhu, and exchange fashion advice and stuff and she could call the whole thing "Miskatonic 90210".

Okay enough rambling and picking on poor Stephanie Meyer. Bottom line is, if she's burned out she's burned out. Even if I was a fan (I'm not) it's always a good thing to take a break at that point. She has millions of fans and it's better to stop when your hot and hope you get it back, than disappoint them with something third rate by your standards.

 

[SnipErlite]

Yeah, I'm a straight guy and I'm attracted to that lump of hypothetical flesh.

Wait, we talking current Sean Connery or Sean Connery as we remember him as James Bond?

Probably James Bond.
Though any flavor of Sean Connery is cool.
...except for Zardoz Sean Connery.

Hahaha, but Zardoz was awesome. Heh heh.

Yeahhhh, no matter what she wants to be remembered as, the creator of sparkley-vampire things will be her legacy.

 

[Pinstar]

Pirates. She's going to hit pirates.

 

[Bourne]

She wrote about vampire before? I could have sworn her characters had nothing to do with the established vampire cannon, and were more heavily associated with such genres as "teen magazine" and "future stars of GQ".

 

[goldenjester]

Uh-oh...I'm sensing some terrifying Chupacabra fan girls in the very near future...

I sense fan-fiction.

Naturally. Everything she writes is basically fan-fiction.

EDIT: Sue ran her hands across the Chupacabra's rough, reptilian skin, cuddling deep into his chest, gazing up at his dog-like face. The smell of sulfur emanating from his body left her wondering just how fiery his love could be. But how could she love him? She was a goat farmer...

 

[tehbeard]

you all know she is going to use Cthulhu for her next book series.

 

[Axzarious]

Okay, they've ruined vampires. On to space marines!

What vampires?

 

[Iconsting]

And so, Stephanie finally realized that her bad writing made vampires and werewolves suck and scrapped her project. She later went on to write a musical about dinosaurs performing in a marching band... Lead by Aborigines.