Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

[Kuilui]

sigh* Really, REALLY? You know what the most disgusting part of all this? The book is going to sell well because Tyra Banks made it. Then someone will make a movie out of it. Model land...wonder how many seconds it took to come up with that title...Probably two. Also if Tyra banks ignorantly thinks she will ever be Tolkein she needs to seriously lay off the heavy drugs. I don't care if her book is great even though I know it wont be. Its called model land and Tolkein is in his own league forever as far as I'm concerned.

 

[viperhalfdragon]

*curls up in the corner and weeps for the slaughter of literature*

 

[Ishadus]

Oh Lord....if you watch that gif for long enough, there's a brief fraction of an instant where the eyes actually flick and look at you instead of off to the right.

Seriously though, how stuck up your own ass do you seriously have to be to actually come out and say "every girl wants to go to Modelland" which is essentially saying "every girl wants to be like me."

In my fantasy Modelland, Tyra Banks falls in love with me and throws herself at me JUST so I can reject her and then proceed to openly pick a different girl who is actually interesting and has a real personality.

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

Rather be a rock star than a model.

 

[superbatranger]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

*puffs*

...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Quite the hilarity. Christ she's ugly, though.

Indeed. The gap between what the fashion industry thinks is attractive and what real men think is attractive is a vast one.

Yea, because everyone in the fashion industry love, but loooove anorexic 20-year old bimbos.

 

[Mr.PlanetEater]

What Choo Talkin' Bout Banks? Modelland? Really, your basically ripping off of Harry Potter and forcing the stereotype of woman being nothing but beauty and everything else about them can die. Can't wait for someone to go bat shit bonkers over this, and link this to the soon to be rise in bulimia, and anorexia.

 

[zoolander]

Her qualifications:Looks hot, reality Talkshow Host, Starred in a bunch of shitty movies, looks hot, had a bunch of cameos, is a fashion manager, and looks hot.

I understand now!!! She's going for the shitty trifecta. Shitty show, shitty movie, and now shitty book (and i'm going to ignore the fact that you said she's hot 3 times, because she really hasn't been for a long time now)

 

[Thee Prisoner]

Well, if it wasn't written a different way, many teenage boys might enjoy it.

 

[Chipperz]

I will only suffer this by pronouncing it with a Welsh accent. That makes this pronounced "Moddechlan" (in my fucking awful Welsh accent, anyway!) which sounds pretty fucking awesome fantasy to me!

Intoxibellas are harder, but yeah, I'm picturing pissed garden gnomes.

 

[teutonicman]

I would normally make some joke regarding her writing skills and her contributions to society. However that really wouldn't accomplish anything and I would only gain the same amount of satisfaction as I would from not shitting myself in public. With that said I hope she does well *cough*. OH DEAR GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I TYPED THIS STRAIGHT FACED!

 

[JoshuaMadoc]

So Tyra Banks wants to be the next Barbieworld scriptwriter.

*Yawn* Moving along.

 

[Thunderheavyarm]

My god. This is like someone from fanfiction.net being asked to turn one of their writings into an actual series. This is gonna be more disastrous than when those kids got seizures watching Poke'mon.

 

[bubba145]

its at this point in movies where the actuall military man calls in the nuke to wipe out everything. i hope it happens in the story. Model version of... not sure its not LotR and it's not Harry Potter so a grab bag of the two perhaps. well anyway death to this and death to all vampire books where there is less blood than a thundercats episode.

 

[RatRace123]

Um, uh... wow. That is among one of the most retarded things I've heard, I guess it could be good, but the premise is dumb. And I don't think Tyra herself has done a thing worthwhile since she was a model. (I don't recognize America's Next Top Model as a thing)

 

[Thunderheavyarm]

You know what, I thought about it. If Tyra can just declare herself an author just because she wanted to write a book. I just made a tri-tip sandwich so I guess I'm qualified to be a butcher. Oh, and I put a bandage on my finger, so I guess I'm a doctor now too.

 

[Eggsnham]

She's not very bright, is she?

 

[Aureli]

This is going in the same list i keep the Twilight series.

I call it "The rip it to shreds and burn it in front of fangirls" pile.

 

[Mikkaddo]

I saw the name of the link for this article and . . . honestly . . . the blood drained from my head and I thought I was seeing things, and had to read the name again. This can't be real can it? Tyra Banks? an author? good god . . .

 

[GodKlown]

Hard to top what has already been said, in some cases repeatedly. So just let me say that I am among the majority who can't stand this self-centered dumbass, and this from a guy who has to hear this chick's voice on a daily basis because someone in this house is addicted to America's Next Top Model. Nothing better than running around and shooting terrorists and hearing Tyra's voice somewhere in the next room.
This is one of those times where I envy the deaf and blind because they don't need to know anything about this. I almost want to weep for those Tyra fans that will all buy a copy of this assured waste of paper. I am sending out a call to all hippie protesters who chain themselves to trees: start blocking the damn trees that will be responsible for bringing this abomination to print!

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Well I applaud her ambition, and I suppose any aspiring writer should start by writing about what they know. However I find it rather insolent of her to dare to compare herself to Tolkien, esp when writing a fantasy story about models!! Perhaps she should set her sights a little (a by "a little", I mean A LOT) lower and work her way up.