U.S. Military Develops Jumping 'Urban Hopper' Robots

Earnest Cavalli

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Jun 19, 2008
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U.S. Military Develops Jumping 'Urban Hopper' Robots



What's scarier than robotic death machines? How about robotic death machines that can leap up stairs and dive through windows?

Dubbed "Urban Hopper," the latest robot to come from SquishBot creator [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/91194] Boston Dynamics can leap up to 8 meters in the air -- perfect for clearing fences, and launching itself into enemy-occupied buildings like some kind of mechanical John Woo extra.

Luckily for the human resistance, the Hopper currently lacks the sort of jumping precision that might doom our entire race. "The existing hoppers do not maintain a stable orientation during hops, but tumble randomly," Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) spokesman Mark Peterson told New Scientist [http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227075.500-jumping-robot-to-bounce-into-military-service.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news].

Assuming the military's scientists can teach the Hopper to jump where it ought to, the gadget will be used for "urban reconnaissance and intelligence gathering." However, DARPA also notes that the machine could be outfitted with "a raft of weapons."

Picture this: You're sitting at home, reading the collected works of Vladimir Nabokov when you hear a soft, repetitive "ka-thunk" noise from your lawn. You rise from your recliner, walk cautiously to the window and just as you reach for the blinds a 120-pound steel rabbit smashes through the glass.

Stumbling backwards you trip over an unfortunately placed ottoman. Before you can remark on the Dick Van Dyke-ian implications of the tumble, the metallic intruder swivels towards you, offering only a cheerful "click-ping," before it tears your body to pieces with 214 carefully-aimed depleted uranium rounds.

As you lie there, slowly asphyxiating on the blood seeping into your lungs from dozens of ragged puncture wounds, your final thoughts are of Humbert Humbert. "He may be a monster, but all he ever wanted was someone to love him."

Chilling, no?

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Lopunny

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Apr 15, 2009
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Sorry for the apathy, but you really have to take pride in the human race, always thinking of amazing ways to kill ourselves..
 

Lord_Ascendant

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Psh. It tok them that long for a prototype? I built an entire army of Alien creatres in 24 hours. True, I had to Quarrantine my facility afterward, but hey at least I have them.
 

Cousin_IT

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thats pretty kewl...though would imagine theyll have to shrink it a bit to make it good for urban reconnaissance. A shoebox is pretty big when its hurtling through ur window
 

scotth266

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Jan 10, 2009
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Jumping robots of doom? Well, all we need are some dancing robots and we're all screwed.

Nah, being serious here: that's pretty slick. Though why bother attaching weapons to it, when you could do something awesome like making super-jumping robo-legs?
 

HeartAttackBob

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Sep 11, 2008
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Where's the video? pictures? remote control? playable demo?

DARPA funds the Best killing devices. At least this one doesn't sound like it will refer to you as a <a href='http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meatbag' target=self>meatbag before killing you like a gerbil in a speedbag.
 

Keane Ng

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Sep 11, 2008
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"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins."

*Robot jumps through window, lights your loins on fire*
 

cheesecake123

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Nov 1, 2008
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hmm i would hate to be on the recieving end icould imagine it now

me-"ahh what a lovely day, i think i'll pick some potatoes in my olotment"

*opens door*

robot-"hey hey"
 

Frizzle

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Nov 11, 2008
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TsunamiWombat said:
Just attach a bomb to the damn thing, if you can make it cheap enough.
If there is one thing America can make cheap, it's explosives.
Hell, even if they weren't cheap, we'd still have more than we would know what to do with...
 

KDR_11k

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Give 'em 8 legs and make them shoot sticky threads to capture targets and you've got those !§§%&/!"%()&!"%(!(% spiders from Earth Defense Force.
 

yodayblack

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Apr 16, 2009
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Got something better for you to image sir.
You and your team are doing a normal patrol. The town leader comes and asks you to help them out because they think theres ieds being made in the homes. So of course you tell him you will do a house by house search. So you start the search but you come up to a house. You signal a stack up. do a quick sweep on the door. Signal a lean and go. and rush through the house in a fast clear. but as you rush in the door rounds go off. you fall to the ground your chest feels like you been hit by a sledge hammer. your alive cause you had your iba vest on. but now you whole team is dead. and your taken to be toruged.(no clue how to spell it) and for kicks they film it and then when they finaly kill you after weeks of this. they upload the video of the whole thing to youtube and your son or daughter happens to be searching for "solider" videos. and he or she clicks on the link. and watches that. (youtube doesnt catch everything) now tell me you want one of those pieces of metal to take some hits? or you want some flesh and blood solider to take some?


probably cant even think about it cause you live in some safe suburbs were the only gun shots you've heard are ones on tv or video games.