Unskippable: Pandora's Tower - Are We Sure This Isn't Resident Evil?

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
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Pandora's Tower - Are We Sure This Isn't Resident Evil?

The quest to save this princess is a little tricky in this one.

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Jan 12, 2012
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Every week it seems like I come here to say that I have no idea what's going on in the story. Even Wikipedia isn't much help.

So the princess was singing at the festival and she got cursed in that big explosion, I got that. The guy and creepy old woman brought her to the tower to get some beast flesh to reverse the curse, that's straightforward enough. But why are they running from the army? If she's the princess, I'd imagine you could get a regiment of troops to help you storm the One Tower with Thirteen Spires and grab all the flesh you'd need. The troops don't even need to know why they are getting this stuff, only that the princess says it's important.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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I want to know why the old woman keeps inexplicably switching from old woman to monster and back again from shot to shot.
 

Hero in a half shell

It's not easy being green
Dec 30, 2009
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canadamus_prime said:
I want to know why the old woman keeps inexplicably switching from old woman to monster and back again from shot to shot.
The monster is actually being carried by the old woman in a giant pot on her back. It's very weird and confusing until you actually realise that.
 

Dango

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Feb 11, 2010
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I wonder if the enemies at the tower are part of a chain gang? Eh? Eh?
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Everyone wants a princess in the streets and a beast in the sheets....Wait....

Anyway, are you sure you guys didn't keep mashing "start" to skip? This intro seemed kind of like it skipped a few things.
 

Kenjitsuka

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Sep 10, 2009
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Soooo, the old woman outran an ARMY for several days?
I DON'T think that demon could get a better set of legs after all! :D

Also, that last line and it's delivery really got me to LOL, so thanks for that!
 

Uncreation

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Aug 4, 2009
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Hero in a half shell said:
canadamus_prime said:
I want to know why the old woman keeps inexplicably switching from old woman to monster and back again from shot to shot.
The monster is actually being carried by the old woman in a giant pot on her back. It's very weird and confusing until you actually realise that.
i doesn't really stop being weird and confusing after you realise it, to be honest.
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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Yikes, after looking at those wiggling shoulder spikes (no easy feat), I see why the Resident Evil joke was needed. That tiny old woman carrying the monster on her back just screamed "untrustworthy" to me.
 

thejboy88

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Aug 29, 2010
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You know what I think would be great? If they devoted a few videos to commenting on the opening cutscenes of the World of Warcraft game and it's expansions. There's probably loads of jokes they can make about those.
 

leviadragon99

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Jun 17, 2010
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So... what was the deal with the old woman and the demon pot? Cuz we're missing a lot of pieces of this story...
 

kailus13

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Mar 3, 2013
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You'd think at some point they'd ask "Why are you carrying a demon?" Just seems the sort of thing you'd ask about.

I suppose they do have bigger problems at that point.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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Hero in a half shell said:
canadamus_prime said:
I want to know why the old woman keeps inexplicably switching from old woman to monster and back again from shot to shot.
The monster is actually being carried by the old woman in a giant pot on her back. It's very weird and confusing until you actually realise that.
Yeah I got that, but it doesn't explain why it would switch from monster to old lady and back again from shot to shot.
 

ace_of_something

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Sep 19, 2008
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what the actual fuck did I just watch?

Also, something about the old woman's voice makes me want to hit someone.
 

Camaranth

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Feb 4, 2011
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Are you sure this isn't the sequel? That opening feels like it was half a game in itself.
 

Endocrom

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Apr 6, 2009
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The skeleton torso on the jar is okay, what really creeps me out is the old woman's voice.
 

Link Satonaka

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Mar 1, 2012
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This is actually one of my favorite games- in theory. The game would be awesome, if it weren't on the Wii. That statement isn't a "the Wii is dumb" thing, the motion controls are great in this game. It's just that you can really, really tell the game has been scaled back significantly in order to run at a decent framerate on the Wii hardware. So I played it on an emulator at a resolution of 2560x2112 and wow does it look amazing (ignoring the extremely sparring use of textures because the Wii has no RAM). Strongly suggest this game be played emulated on a powerful PC if you can help it (and while I'm suggesting things, I dislike the english dub. I made an "undub" by putting the japanese audio in my US game, in order to have english subtitles).

Thunderous Cacophony said:
Every week it seems like I come here to say that I have no idea what's going on in the story. Even Wikipedia isn't much help.

So the princess was singing at the festival and she got cursed in that big explosion, I got that. The guy and creepy old woman brought her to the tower to get some beast flesh to reverse the curse, that's straightforward enough. But why are they running from the army? If she's the princess, I'd imagine you could get a regiment of troops to help you storm the One Tower with Thirteen Spires and grab all the flesh you'd need. The troops don't even need to know why they are getting this stuff, only that the princess says it's important.
She's not a princess, she's just some girl from a local village who can sing. She volunteered to sing at that festival- anyone could have. I don't remember the plot exactly because I played it a long time ago and it's one of those unnecessarily complicated plots the Japanese love to weave, but the army is just after her because she's, well, a monster that attacked the festival and they want to exterminate her. But there's more to it later on- one of the bad ends is she becomes the monster permanently, and the military capture her and Aaron, and they use her in war. Aaron is disgusted with her monster form and she loses herself in her grief, killing whoever the army tells her to kill.

That may sound like a spoiler, but it's not. This game has maybe 6 endings and all but endings A and B are terrible (in the literary sense, just bad writing), and almost completely removed from any actual events in the game. More like bad fanfiction that made it into the game somehow than a spoiler.