Unskippable: The Witcher 2, Part One

[Ferisar]

See, that was both a funny episode and an awesome cutscene. The game is horrible, but the cutscene is cool!

Ahhh mondays. LRR is the only reason I like them.

Uh, no. It was not, by any stretch, a horrible game.

Does this cutscene happen on starting the game up or something? I don't remember it at *all* and I'm not the usually the type to skip em...

They added it for the Xbox release, updating all versions of the game with it and a bunch of other stuff that wasn't previously there.

 

[anian]

They can show a whole boat turn to ice and then shatter, but every character is bald or has the hair hidden away...magical.

 

[synobal]

Ha Assassin college football!

 

[Mr Companion]

Yeah its funny in game when some Elf guy you talk to is like "Letho was so fast we didn't know what was going down!" and when you face him he is this giant pile of meat who lumbers around spamming cheap spells and swinging his sword REALLY slowly. Its very silly.

Oh jeez, don't remind me of how cheap his spells are. Bastard killed me something like ten times because he kept stunlocking me until I managed to get a decent enough strategy of dodging, Quen-ing, and taking quick pot shots.

I think I eventually beat him by running away and throwing bombs at him (I had a lot of them) after he killed me in melee so many damn times.

Yeah I played through on hard the first time through with no prior knowledge of The Witcher series and every boss fight was total bulls**t. Letho was the worst though, if he was fast and aggressive I would totally love that fight but instead he is everything that is wrong with video game boss fights incarnate. He keeps himself topped up on the invincible wards and throws massively damaging spells with no choreography so you could never see it coming.

The only sword tactic is to run around him until the ward drops (woo fun) coax him into swinging his blade about for ages and twatting him from behind. If this guy was more aggressive and fast but squishier this fight could have been really exiting and stressful. Instead its just an overpowered cheap tank with tons of health, defeated through trial and error discovery of his AI attack patterns.

 

[Graham_LRR]

It's good to be back to new games, so we can see how modern technology helps games to suck in new and exciting ways.

If only you hadn't said that while featuring a genuinely good game...

The game quality is a matter of opinion, but the intro (while awesome looking) is a complete non sequitur in relation to the actual start of the game.

 

[Kargathia]

That seemed like an extremely elaborate method of assassinating a king. Should've hired one of those Assassin's Creed dudes instead.

Judging by how they only learned to swim two hundred years later... that might not be such a good idea.

 

[The Random One]

You know, that assassin's MO is really like what I'd do in an RPG game.

Plan A: Something so unnecessarily overpowered that I'll kill the target and everything standing anywhere near him.
Plan B: If Plan A doesn't produce a visible corpse, decapitate. It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Andy Shandy]

Those guards were terrible! They couldn't even catch a cold!

I...think you win.

But anyway, did anyone else think that the assassin looked like Heavy from Team Fortress 2? I just couldn't shake that thought off my head.

And now I can't unsee it.

I'm now seeing Letho doing that. Hope you're happy! =P

That seemed like an extremely elaborate method of assassinating a king. Should've hired one of those Assassin's Creed dudes instead.

To be fair, it probably would've lasted as long, what with all the talking to the guy afterwards that those guys seem to do.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

So this game is considered "dark fantasy" because its dwarves and elves live in ghettos? It was the middle ages. EVERYONE lived in ghettos. You were considered high society if you didn't need to use a steady supply of fresh dung as caulk.

Ghetto as in "segregated, closed-off, guarded section of the city", not "poor neighborhood"./quote]

That's what I said. Anyone who wasn't born into high society was basically a serf.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

That seemed like an extremely elaborate method of assassinating a king. Should've hired one of those Assassin's Creed dudes instead.

Judging by how they only learned to swim two hundred years later... that might not be such a good idea.

Which is why they'd have to keep the boat intact.

That seemed like an extremely elaborate method of assassinating a king. Should've hired one of those Assassin's Creed dudes instead.

To be fair, it probably would've lasted as long, what with all the talking to the guy afterwards that those guys seem to do.

Yeah, I suppose that's true, but at least there wouldn't have been as much collateral damage.

 

[DoPo]

You know, that assassin's MO is really like what I'd do in an RPG game.

Plan A: Something so unnecessarily overpowered that I'll kill the target and everything standing anywhere near him.
Plan B: If Plan A doesn't produce a visible corpse, decapitate. It's the only way to be sure.

Which makes you wander, if the assassin managed to freeze the king...what would he do then? I thought the decapitation was fairly important (haven't played the game, though). Would he put the king in lots of glasses, filled with beverages, and try to balance them to the shore or something?

 

[Evil Smurf]

why not employ witchers to protect the king? They must value the kings wealth

 

[leviadragon99]

Huh... well that's weird, I own that game and played it a little way in but I don't remember that cutscene...

 

[Extragorey]

Those guards were terrible! They couldn't even catch a cold!

Nice one there.

Anyway, I thought that cinematic was pretty awesome, unlike the cutscenes you guys normally cover. Hadn't seen it before, either. That from the Enhanced Edition?
But yeah, I think it was a case of the-cutscene-was-cooler-than-your-commentary-*no-pun-intended*.
But it was still made better by your efforts, of course.

 

[5ilver]

Am I the only one that liked the song

 

[shadowmagus]

I thought Unskippable handled bad cutscenes. I mean, I guess it could be argued that this isn't a great cutscene but it certainly isn't the bottom of the barrel I've come to expect from watching this series.

 

[Something Amyss]

*cuts off head, climbs to top of boat*

Well, that's the last item on the scavenger hunt...

*checks off scroll, dives in water*

 

[Falseprophet]

So this game is considered "dark fantasy" because its dwarves and elves live in ghettos? It was the middle ages. EVERYONE lived in ghettos. You were considered high society if you didn't need to use a steady supply of fresh dung as caulk.

These days, it seems like "dark fantasy" means "fantasy where the setting is close to a realistic depiction of medieval Europe instead of the theme-park version". As opposed to anything actually "dark".

 

[Darth_Payn]

Sooo, how did this scene affect the rest of the game's story? Was anyone in that scene important later on, besides the brick shithouse of an assassin? Surprisingly agile for someone built like a gorilla.

Captcha: square one
Aw, back THERE again?!

 

[5ilver]

Sooo, how did this scene affect the rest of the game's story? Was anyone in that scene important later on, besides the brick shithouse of an assassin? Surprisingly agile for someone built like a gorilla.

Captcha: square one
Aw, back THERE again?!

Well, the dead king is kind of important. The entire storyline revolves around the deaths of several kings (as the "Assassins of Kings" sub-title implies) and the one that dies in the cutscene sets everything in motion.