Velociraptor attacks

PurpleRain

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Larenxis said:
Just duct tape some steaks to the doll then.
Pfft, we'll see how far you logic gets you in the real Raptor Holocaust! I for one am budding with Galt. He for one knows how to fight this.

As for your previous question on how many:
One for every free man, woman and child that upholds and stands forpiece and love of all creatures.
 

Kovash86

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PurpleRain said:
Larenxis said:
Just duct tape some steaks to the doll then.
Pfft, we'll see how far you logic gets you in the real Raptor Holocaust! I for one am budding with Galt. He for one knows how to fight this.

As for your previous question on how many:
One for every free man, woman and child that upholds and stands forpiece and love of all creatures.
Eh, that's not that many. We could settle that in a week.
 

tiredinnuendo

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Kovash86 said:
tiredinnuendo said:
Kovash86 said:
Oh and wikipedia states that the velociraptor was actually about the size of a chicken which is fairly harmless to a human, the things in Jurassic park are something completely different.
This is clearly misinformation spread by raptor sympathizers to lull us into a false sense of security. Are you one of them?

- J
I don't have sympathy for anything I can mimic it but I don't have regular sympathy, even when I'm watching T.V. and I see a guy get hit in the crotch my only response is "I'm glad I'm not stupid enough to try what he just did." when the world trade center was hit on 9/11 I didn't think "Oh those poor people." I thought "Who's ass needs to be kicked?", if I didn't have sympathy for that then I damn sure don't have any for a long dead creature.
Wow. I'm totally convinced of your pre-20's toughness. Guess there's nothing more to say about that.

However, on a completely unrelated note, I once knew this guy who would go to Denny's all the time (that's not the sad part). He would often dress up to go there. White contacts, shirts with "witty" sarcastic expressions that he got at Hot Topic, and once he even wore a name tag that said "Hi, my name is Satan!" You've all met this guy at one point or another. This is the guy that takes the "How Evil are you?" test and posts the results (totally evil) on his livejournal.

What he didn't understand is that he was a complete loser, and that no one, ever, has been impressed by having someone talk about how inhuman they thought they were. Ultimately, everyone he dealt with just felt embarrassed to know him whenever he talked or did anything.

Wow, I really got off on a tangent there...

- J
 

Colodomoko

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If there is one, I will go up to it and stab it with a knife.

If there in packs I grab a burst fire rifle and pick them of in a hard to reach location.

Simple as that unless you go crazy or something.
 

Johnn Johnston

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Raptors are no match for mad ninja skills, really. A rugby tackle should be all you need. If you don't play rugby, then you, my friend, are doomed.
 

tiredinnuendo

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It occurs to me that I haven't posted my own plans. My first thought was that taking to the air would save me, however I don't have any piloting skills, and besides, fuel eventually runs out, so that would be a stopgap solution at best.

My second thought was to take to Alaska or really anywhere else where the cold would be too much for cold-blooded creatures, but then I realized that raptors are far too intelligent, and would, given time, invent some form of body temperature control suit that would enable them to continue their hunt for me. And with my luck, they'd come for me during Alaska's long night.

After that, I thought that maybe banding together with a group of survivors and holing up as best we could in a well-fortified structure with weapons stockpiled would be good, but there are obvious issues that in such a scenario weapons would no doubt be scarce, restocking food would be nigh-suicide, and simply travelling to such a fortress without being killed would be incredibly difficult. Even looking past that, you'd only need one raptor to disguise themselves and get inside the perimeter, and they'd no doubt be able to cripple our defenses in minutes, leaving us open for a planned strike.

In short, I think my best plan for surviving such an event would be to start working, now, on a Lizard serum, similar to that used in Spider-man, which would enable me to switch sides when the need arises.

- J
 

Johnn Johnston

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tiredinnuendo said:
It occurs to me that I haven't posted my own plans. My first thought was that taking to the air would save me, however I don't have any piloting skills, and besides, fuel eventually runs out, so that would be a stopgap solution at best.

My second thought was to take to Alaska or really anywhere else where the cold would be too much for cold-blooded creatures, but then I realized that raptors are far too intelligent, and would, given time, invent some form of body temperature control suit that would enable them to continue their hunt for me. And with my luck, they'd come for me during Alaska's long night.

After that, I thought that maybe banding together with a group of survivors and holing up as best we could in a well-fortified structure with weapons stockpiled would be good, but there are obvious issues that in such a scenario weapons would no doubt be scarce, restocking food would be nigh-suicide, and simply travelling to such a fortress without being killed would be incredibly difficult. Even looking past that, you'd only need one raptor to disguise themselves and get inside the perimeter, and they'd no doubt be able to cripple our defenses in minutes, leaving us open for a planned strike.

In short, I think my best plan for surviving such an event would be to start working, now, on a Lizard serum, similar to that used in Spider-man, which would enable me to switch sides when the need arises.

- J
1) I had the same "Take to The Skies" idea, but I went with solar power.
2) 'Raptors in fur coats. It's a funny thought.
3) "...one raptor to disguise themselves and get into the camp..." Even funnier thought. A raptor getting past a guard post by muttering 'Morning' and wearing a fake moustache and glasses.
4) I'll be waiting with a shotgun for you, then.
 

JDLY

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I myself would have no plan whatsoever.
Why you ask. Because it won't happen.

Now I hope you realized that I said that on purpose just because people are already looking at me as a fun-hating person.

My plan if there was such a raptor invasion would be simple and just go to Alaska. By the time they evolve and start inventing things to survive there I would be long dead.

Or I would move to the redwood forest over in Clifornia or where ever it is and build a city of treehouses 100's of feet up. They can't climb trees because they don't have aposable thumbs and those trees don't even have branches for the first 50 or so feet.
 

Kovash86

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tiredinnuendo said:
Wow. I'm totally convinced of your pre-20's toughness. Guess there's nothing more to say about that.

However, on a completely unrelated note, I once knew this guy who would go to Denny's all the time (that's not the sad part). He would often dress up to go there. White contacts, shirts with "witty" sarcastic expressions that he got at Hot Topic, and once he even wore a name tag that said "Hi, my name is Satan!" You've all met this guy at one point or another. This is the guy that takes the "How Evil are you?" test and posts the results (totally evil) on his livejournal.

What he didn't understand is that he was a complete loser, and that no one, ever, has been impressed by having someone talk about how inhuman they thought they were. Ultimately, everyone he dealt with just felt embarrassed to know him whenever he talked or did anything.

Wow, I really got off on a tangent there...

- J
Really? Nothing more to say? There is a distinct difference between acting tough and misanthropy, I fit into the latter category.
So? How is that Denny's treating you?
 

tiredinnuendo

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Kovash86 said:
Really? Nothing more to say? There is a distinct difference between acting tough and misanthropy, I fit into the latter category.
So? How is that Denny's treating you?
Well, I did say it was a completely unrelated note.

Why? Did I touch a nerve?

But all Internet posturing aside (I think I already said this here, but "Everyone's a badass on the internets"), the whole "I feel nothing but scorn and superiority so aren't I cool" thing is probably best kept to yourself, especially in a thread where we're supposed to be having fun.

- J
 

Saskwach

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PurpleRain said:
As for your previous question on how many:
One for every free man, woman and child that upholds and stands forpiece and love of all creatures.
I hate that this joke is obvious and I don't really agree, but I just had to do it:

America should be fine, then.
 

Silver

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Johnn Johnston said:
Raptors are no match for mad ninja skills, really. A rugby tackle should be all you need. If you don't play rugby, then you, my friend, are doomed.
Oh, but I have a sword on my balcony, and I can do a wicked jump attack. That should work. Or I could play link and do a whirlwind thingy.



Oh, and that 3 thing. I have a friend who'd totally fall for that.
 

Silver

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PS3fanboy said:
I myself would have no plan whatsoever.
Why you ask. Because it won't happen.

Now I hope you realized that I said that on purpose just because people are already looking at me as a fun-hating person.

My plan if there was such a raptor invasion would be simple and just go to Alaska. By the time they evolve and start inventing things to survive there I would be long dead.

Or I would move to the redwood forest over in Clifornia or where ever it is and build a city of treehouses 100's of feet up. They can't climb trees because they don't have aposable thumbs and those trees don't even have branches for the first 50 or so feet.
You're in on it! And you're trying to make us feel safe and drop our guard! Never! You will be the first to fall! Who's with me?!?
 

Kovash86

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I don't ask or want to be cool, that involves a level of pretentiousness I can only laugh at or want to cause physical harm to.
I'm no emo, but I do feel most of the full gambit of human emotions, the few I don't feel are pity, empathy or the desire to help those beyond a certain point (this is an internalized point which I would have to dedicate 2-3 paragraphs to explain even in a broad manner) I think there may be a few other emotions I don't feel but I'm not entirely sure what they are yet.
I do however appreciate how far you have dragged this aside, from me saying "I don't care about a long-extinct animal, who in a hypothetical situation would be trying it's level best to leap through my window right now.", into a personal attack about the fact that I sound like I'm at least 5 years younger than I really am, because I'm trying to have fun. Were I trying to sound mature I would have never made a post in this thread. This leads me to the question, "So? Who is the more immature one now?" but frankly speaking I don't care which of us is the more childish, just shut up and get your raptor ass back in the cage so I can cook you up for dinner.
 

Kovash86

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May 23, 2008
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No, I know religious debates, I can win those unless it is involving eastern religions, this is about raptors and the fact that they taste like chicken.
 

Silver

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Kovash86 said:
No, I know religious debates, I can win those unless it is involving eastern religions, this is about raptors and the fact that they taste like chicken.
I call bullshit. Chickens taste like raptors, not the other way around.