I found this on jumbojoke.com and could not keep from laughing, so I thought I should share it.
Instructions: There are only 16 questions. Read all instructions and questions carefully before you begin. Time limit 4 hours. You may begin when you are ready.
Biology
1) Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the evolution/creation argument. Verify this estimation.
Economics
2) Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: CEO compensation, the China trade balance, and minimum wage.
Engineering
3) The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to your room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
English Literature
4) Rewrite, from memory, Atlas Shrugged -- but with a counter point of view. You will find 1,500 sheets of paper under your chair.
General Knowledge
5) Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
Geography
6) Draw a detailed map of the world showing the location of all armed conflicts. Extra credit: mark an "X" over the exact hiding place of Osama Bin Laden, and calculate how many hundred miles he is from the nearest American soldier.
History
7) Describe the history of all religions from their earliest origins to the present day. Prove which is best in a manner that will convince the members of all other religions to convert.
Logic
8) Using accepted methodology, prove all four of the following: That the universe is infinite; that truth is beauty; that there is no little person who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door, and that you are the person taking this exam. Now disprove all of the above. Show all work.
Management Science
9) Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Implement your algorithm on either a GE 645, CDC 7600, IBM 360/195, or PDP-8. Your program should include all software necessary to support 100 interactive consoles.
Mathematics
10) Calculate PI to two million decimal places and, by using this result, calculate the volume of the galaxy to 1,999,999 decimal places.
Medicine
11) Behind your desk you will find a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work is inspected.
Music
12) Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with full orchestra. You will find a piano under your seat.
Philosophy
13) Why? Explain your answer.
Physics
14) Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science, plus the possible effect of electromagnetic radiation on the global pollution.
Political Science
15) On the desk behind you is a red phone. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Psychology
16) Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality evaluations and changes, bill yourself, and fill out all appropriate medical insurance forms. Then do the same to the person on your immediate left.
Final instruction: Note that the instructions at the top told you to read all questions before starting. If you have not made any marks on your answer sheet you may write your name at the top and it turn in for an "A" grade. If you have started answering any question, you must complete all of them.
Good Luck.
Instructions: There are only 16 questions. Read all instructions and questions carefully before you begin. Time limit 4 hours. You may begin when you are ready.
Biology
1) Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the evolution/creation argument. Verify this estimation.
Economics
2) Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: CEO compensation, the China trade balance, and minimum wage.
Engineering
3) The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to your room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
English Literature
4) Rewrite, from memory, Atlas Shrugged -- but with a counter point of view. You will find 1,500 sheets of paper under your chair.
General Knowledge
5) Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
Geography
6) Draw a detailed map of the world showing the location of all armed conflicts. Extra credit: mark an "X" over the exact hiding place of Osama Bin Laden, and calculate how many hundred miles he is from the nearest American soldier.
History
7) Describe the history of all religions from their earliest origins to the present day. Prove which is best in a manner that will convince the members of all other religions to convert.
Logic
8) Using accepted methodology, prove all four of the following: That the universe is infinite; that truth is beauty; that there is no little person who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door, and that you are the person taking this exam. Now disprove all of the above. Show all work.
Management Science
9) Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Implement your algorithm on either a GE 645, CDC 7600, IBM 360/195, or PDP-8. Your program should include all software necessary to support 100 interactive consoles.
Mathematics
10) Calculate PI to two million decimal places and, by using this result, calculate the volume of the galaxy to 1,999,999 decimal places.
Medicine
11) Behind your desk you will find a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work is inspected.
Music
12) Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with full orchestra. You will find a piano under your seat.
Philosophy
13) Why? Explain your answer.
Physics
14) Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science, plus the possible effect of electromagnetic radiation on the global pollution.
Political Science
15) On the desk behind you is a red phone. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Psychology
16) Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality evaluations and changes, bill yourself, and fill out all appropriate medical insurance forms. Then do the same to the person on your immediate left.
Final instruction: Note that the instructions at the top told you to read all questions before starting. If you have not made any marks on your answer sheet you may write your name at the top and it turn in for an "A" grade. If you have started answering any question, you must complete all of them.
Good Luck.
