wacky ideas for "the perfect crime"

[shootthebandit]

I was thinking about crazy ideas people have for "the perfect crime". After a friend told me about an incident of someone being stabbed with a big icicle and how the murder weapon would simply melt away

For my idea you find a deadly snake (preferable one you find in a dessert) then you make a mould of its mouth and extract its venom. You then somehow inject the vemon into someone and use the mould to create a bite mark on thier leg. Then leave the body in the dessert someome finds it and the toxicology shows it was a snake snd so does the bite mark

I know these ideas are rediculous and ironically impractical but what is your idea and the wackier (but with some kind of movie logic) the better

 

[Thaluikhain]

Best idea I ever saw was from the old 60s Batman TV show.

The Penguin can't think of any good crimes, so he starts sticking random umbrellas around for Batman to find. One of them has a bug in it, so the Penguin can hear Batman and Robin talking about what elaborate crimes the Penguin might be leaving subtle clues about and steal their ideas.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The problem with these perfect crimes is that there's always MOTIVATION. It would only work on a random victim as opposed on someoneone you actually wanted dead. They can track the killer through motivation.

 

[darkcalling]

My favorite goes to George Carlin.

You pick a guy up and beat another guy to death with him. Two bodies, no murder weapon!

 

[Esotera]

The problem with these perfect crimes is that there's always MOTIVATION. It would only work on a random victim as opposed on someoneone you actually wanted dead. They can track the killer through motivation.

Then the perfect crime would use all these techniques, but lay the blame at the feet of the victim's family member or other half. For example, hacking their computer and putting a load of searches for 'killing people with snakes' into their history. With something like that it'd be unlikely that you'd become the main suspect.

 

[OneCatch]

This is the best example I can think of:
http://xkcd.com/1105/

As for one that would actually work, iunno, I can't think of any that don't stray out of wacky territory and move into srs/dark territory.

 

[kailus13]

The problem with these perfect crimes is that there's always MOTIVATION. It would only work on a random victim as opposed on someoneone you actually wanted dead. They can track the killer through motivation.

If you don't leave any evidence they can track you all they want. Without hard evidence there is no case. Ever.
Even if it's 99% obvious that you did it.

If you don't leave any evidence then you don't need an elaborate crime. You could just stab someone with a normal knife then get rid of it, save yourself a bit of effort.

 

[Nosirrah]

First, find a trainable bird, then feed it heavy food and teach it to fly over the victim's head, then inject it with laxative and off you go.

Alternatively, just put a landmine outside their house. Just random explosions and a terrorist stack as cover.

Or just take them to the middle of nowhere.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

My favorite goes to George Carlin.

You pick a guy up and beat another guy to death with him. Two bodies, no murder weapon!

Damn ninja'd! That was going to be my post!

Spoiler: But at least I can post the video of that idea

I also like his idea "dip someone in brown gravy and lock them in a cage with a wolverine who is high on angel dust". I've always wondered about that one.

 

[Quaxar]

Is "the perfect crime" necessarily a murder? Because I've got some pretty waterproof plan for stealing the moon. See, the real trick is hiding it, so I have invented the world's biggest fake moustache.

Best idea I ever saw was from the old 60s Batman TV show.

The Penguin can't think of any good crimes, so he starts sticking random umbrellas around for Batman to find. One of them has a bug in it, so the Penguin can hear Batman and Robin talking about what elaborate crimes the Penguin might be leaving subtle clues about and steal their ideas.

That's the most fantastic plot I've ever heard.
Closely followed by that Simpsons classic..
<youtube=GjLtdUitlC8>

 

[KeyMaster45]

I was thinking about crazy ideas people have for "the perfect crime". After a friend told me about an incident of someone being stabbed with a big icicle and how the murder weapon would simply melt away.

Oh you mean that case from the Layton Brothers iPad game? Yeah even I didn't see the icicle knife coming.