We need to talk about feet.

Crystal Violet

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I made a post some months ago about fetishes and I hoped someone would tell me stuff to give me confidence to admit a very strange curiosity of self.

I was so disappointed. Everyone's fetish was lame and normal and I lost my nerve.

But now I'm doing it. I hope. If I don't read back and delete it with my shame.

Kids, strap in because this will be a wild rant. I have a complex relationship with feet. I find them ugly to look at and don't want you to touch me with them. And I get aroused when other women are barefoot. Not by the feet but by them being barefoot. And the world is a strange place for me.

I don't have a foot fetish per se because I don't like looking or touch feet so I don't identify with the foot fetish people but I don't feel normal either. I get aroused seeing cute women barefoot around me and I get shy being barefoot around others. I am always hyper aware when someone around me is barefoot or vice versa, I feel more vulnerable when someone has shoes and I do not. Because lots of people say they hate feet but act completely normal when people are barefoot around them I cannot figure out how people view the bare feet or if they even acknowledge them in their own heads. I sometimes avoid wearing ballerinas or other shoes without socks if I think I might have to remove them in front of people even though I don't think my own feet are particularly ugly but I have no problem being barefoot if I'm doing a sport and it's part of the uniform or if I go swimming.

Three examples of this come to my head.
Of first, I was watching TV with my dad when a character was lying on her bed barefoot with her feet up while talking to someone. My dad did not react but I was so self conscious like I was watching porn with my family that I wanted the ground to swallow me. I had to also pretend this meant nothing to me.
Of second, when my sister and I were teenagers we were in my room and we heard my brother's friend come in downstairs. My sister thought he was hot (I'm mostly les but he was) and looked for an excuse to pass him by in the living room. She was wearing trackpants and socks but she ran into her room to get changed and when she went down the stairs she wearing jeans with no socks. This was so bizarre for me that she would consciously choose to expose her feet as part of an outfit to look good for someone she liked because in her situation I would have been shy and actually put shoes on.
Of third, I worked as a cop for years and when we arrested someone we would sometimes take the shoes before they went to a cell. If they were drunk they would take the socks as well. This seemed like a violation to me and when I was myself arrested I felt more humiliated by having my shoes taken than being put in handcuffs.

I have long made peace that I am the weird one but I want your perspective.

Can you relate with any of this at all? Does seeing a barefoot person or being barefoot in present of others mean nothing to you? I simply need to know!
 
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ObsidianJones

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I made a post some months ago about fetishes and I hoped someone would tell me stuff to give me confidence to admit a very strange curiosity of self.

I was so disappointed. Everyone's fetish was lame and normal and I lost my nerve.

But now I'm doing it. I hope. If I don't read back and delete it with my shame.

Kids, strap in because this will be a wild rant. I have a complex relationship with feet. I find them ugly to look at and don't want you to touch me with them. And I get aroused when other women are barefoot. Not by the feet but by them being barefoot. And the world is a strange place for me.

I don't have a foot fetish per se because I don't like looking or touch feet so I don't identify with the foot fetish people but I don't feel normal either. I get aroused seeing cute women barefoot around me and I get shy being barefoot around others. I am always hyper aware when someone around me is barefoot or vice versa, I feel more vulnerable when someone has shoes and I do not. Because lots of people say they hate feet but act completely normal when people are barefoot around them I cannot figure out how people view the bare feet or if they even acknowledge them in their own heads. I sometimes avoid wearing ballerinas or other shoes without socks if I think I might have to remove them in front of people even though I don't think my own feet are particularly ugly but I have no problem being barefoot if I'm doing a sport and it's part of the uniform or if I go swimming.

Three examples of this come to my head.
Of first, I was watching TV with my dad when a character was lying on her bed barefoot with her feet up while talking to someone. My dad did not react but I was so self conscious like I was watching porn with my family that I wanted the ground to swallow me. I had to also pretend this meant nothing to me.
Of second, when my sister and I were teenagers we were in my room and we heard my brother's friend come in downstairs. My sister thought he was hot (I'm mostly les but he was) and looked for an excuse to pass him by in the living room. She was wearing trackpants and socks but she ran into her room to get changed and when she went down the stairs she wearing jeans with no socks. This was so bizarre for me that she would consciously choose to expose her feet as part of an outfit to look good for someone she liked because in her situation I would have been shy and actually put shoes on.
Of third, I worked as a cop for years and when we arrested someone we would sometimes take the shoes before they went to a cell. If they were drunk they would take the socks as well. This seemed like a violation to me and when I was myself arrested I felt more humiliated by having my shoes taken than being put in handcuffs.

I have long made peace that I am the weird one but I want your perspective.

Can you relate with any of this at all? Does seeing a barefoot person or being barefoot in present of others mean nothing to you? I simply need to know!
So, here's the thing. I'm sorry to report that I can't meet you on this. Not that it's off or bad or whatever, but it's just that the majority of us are geeks. Just the idea of having sex is such a fantasy that there's little room to explore any accoutrements.

But there's nothing weird about liking what you like as long as you aren't harming someone's rights.

I don't even think it should be labelled a kink. It's what you like. Why is liking long legs a 'normal' part of sexual attraction but if you include the rest of the limb, it's way off kilter?

It's a feature that you like. You're being true to yourself. This is nothing more beautiful than that. You're not the weird one. You're true to you. I love that. The world is always better when people are true to themselves.
 

happyninja42

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I made a post some months ago about fetishes and I hoped someone would tell me stuff to give me confidence to admit a very strange curiosity of self.

I was so disappointed. Everyone's fetish was lame and normal and I lost my nerve.

But now I'm doing it. I hope. If I don't read back and delete it with my shame.

Kids, strap in because this will be a wild rant. I have a complex relationship with feet. I find them ugly to look at and don't want you to touch me with them. And I get aroused when other women are barefoot. Not by the feet but by them being barefoot. And the world is a strange place for me.

I don't have a foot fetish per se because I don't like looking or touch feet so I don't identify with the foot fetish people but I don't feel normal either. I get aroused seeing cute women barefoot around me and I get shy being barefoot around others. I am always hyper aware when someone around me is barefoot or vice versa, I feel more vulnerable when someone has shoes and I do not. Because lots of people say they hate feet but act completely normal when people are barefoot around them I cannot figure out how people view the bare feet or if they even acknowledge them in their own heads. I sometimes avoid wearing ballerinas or other shoes without socks if I think I might have to remove them in front of people even though I don't think my own feet are particularly ugly but I have no problem being barefoot if I'm doing a sport and it's part of the uniform or if I go swimming.

Three examples of this come to my head.
Of first, I was watching TV with my dad when a character was lying on her bed barefoot with her feet up while talking to someone. My dad did not react but I was so self conscious like I was watching porn with my family that I wanted the ground to swallow me. I had to also pretend this meant nothing to me.
Of second, when my sister and I were teenagers we were in my room and we heard my brother's friend come in downstairs. My sister thought he was hot (I'm mostly les but he was) and looked for an excuse to pass him by in the living room. She was wearing trackpants and socks but she ran into her room to get changed and when she went down the stairs she wearing jeans with no socks. This was so bizarre for me that she would consciously choose to expose her feet as part of an outfit to look good for someone she liked because in her situation I would have been shy and actually put shoes on.
Of third, I worked as a cop for years and when we arrested someone we would sometimes take the shoes before they went to a cell. If they were drunk they would take the socks as well. This seemed like a violation to me and when I was myself arrested I felt more humiliated by having my shoes taken than being put in handcuffs.

I have long made peace that I am the weird one but I want your perspective.

Can you relate with any of this at all? Does seeing a barefoot person or being barefoot in present of others mean nothing to you? I simply need to know!
I mean, I guess yeah I can relate? I love legs and butts, and would probably consider them a fetish....but I don't want to fuck them. I'm more than happy to enjoy vaginas, but some slinky legs on display? Tight jeans/skirt showing off a good butt? It turns me on, but I don't find sexual gratification from that body part directly. I mean, I don't mind touching legs and butts, like you seem to be against feet, but I don't seek to like, stick my dick behind a ladies knee or something and pump one out. So I don't think it's weird for you to find a body part arousing, but don't find that part directly engaging? I think that makes sense, what I just said.

For me, my attraction to feet is somewhat mixed. They don't arouse me for myself, it's more sort of...well, I guess the easiest way I can describe it is that I know how sensitive my feet are to a massage, and getting oiled up and rubbed, and how my body reacts to that sensation tingling up my legs, through my hips and onward, and I find the idea of doing that to a woman enjoyable. I don't want to lick their feet or anything, or again, rub one out with my dick on them or something, but I do want to give them a really deep foot massage, in the hopes that it gives them pleasure. So, more I guess that I like the idea of feet as an erogenous zone? And not a fetish? *shrugs*

I personally find I get more turned on, at the thought and act of making my partner turned on. Making them give that little shiver of delight as you run your fingers along their body, little moans of enjoyment at touch and such, that's more of an aphrodisiac for me than most things. When I was younger, I would always give my GF's and lovers full body massages, because it was great foreplay. And working the feet always got a good reaction from them. I've always wondered how good of a combined sensation someone would have if they were enjoying themselves, but were also receiving an actual massage to the body. Because when I get them from my wife (mostly as actual physical therapy these days), I can feel a direct nerve connection when some parts are massaged, and my naughty bits. So I would assume other people would as well.

So yeah,that's more what I enjoy about feet/legs. The idea of, assuming my partner enjoys the same level of sensory input from stimulation there, that it could be very enjoyable.

Oh, you're fetish really isn't that weird, despite your own phobia about it being weird. Relax.

Edit:

There shouldn't be anything wrong with the terms fetish/kink. They often get a negative connotation, but I've always just seen them as shorthand for "Things that I find sexually gratifying or arrousing." Which is a lot to say or type, when I could just us a 1-2 syllable word that encapsulates all that.
 

Crystal Violet

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So, here's the thing. I'm sorry to report that I can't meet you on this. Not that it's off or bad or whatever, but it's just that the majority of us are geeks. Just the idea of having sex is such a fantasy that there's little room to explore any accoutrements.
lol not all of us geeks are deprived of sex. With the pandemic though I think there might be cobwebs down there lol

But there's nothing weird about liking what you like as long as you aren't harming someone's rights.
Oh that I understand and I am not searching validation. I am simply trying to understand how a "normal" person would process barefoot people or being barefoot around them.

It's a feature that you like. You're being true to yourself. This is nothing more beautiful than that. You're not the weird one. You're true to you. I love that. The world is always better when people are true to themselves.
Thank you for saying nice things šŸ˜˜
 

XsjadoBlayde

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download-1.jpeg

I have reported this thread for offensive content.

(I jest, continue your godless deviancy as you were!šŸ˜‰)
 
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Kae

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I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with kinks or fetishes, whatever you enjoy is fine I just don't understand sexual attraction in general, I don't really get why anyone would want to have sex, maybe I've just had bad experiences but it feels awful and it's gross and really awkward since I have to touch people and I really don't like that either, like even hugs make me uncomfortable most of the time, I mean I have tried to understand it because I didn't want to be a freak (Took me a long time to accept that not liking that stuff was fine) but I just don't get sex much less sexual fetishes, also I just tried looking up porn and it's gross, like really gross, I don't get it, I guess I'll forever think of these things in the same manner a kid does.

So like sorry if I'm super boring when it comes to that stuff, but you know I'm worse than vanilla, that being said if you do want to know something that's probably super tame because it's not like sexual or anything, but this is something I find massively embarrassing to admit, but I like it when people carry me, I don't know why since I generally dislike physical contact, but when someone carries me I get super flustered and kind of happy and I start blushing uncontrollably, I found out because a friend that really enjoys annoying me sometimes carries me to annoy me since he knows I hate being touched in general, so yeah that's it, it's not super juicy but I assure you that admitting this is extremely embarrassing to me.
 

happyninja42

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I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with kinks or fetishes, whatever you enjoy is fine I just don't understand sexual attraction in general, I don't really get why anyone would want to have sex, maybe I've just had bad experiences but it feels awful and it's gross and really awkward since I have to touch people and I really don't like that either, like even hugs make me uncomfortable most of the time, I mean I have tried to understand it because I didn't want to be a freak (Took me a long time to accept that not liking that stuff was fine) but I just don't get sex much less sexual fetishes, also I just tried looking up porn and it's gross, like really gross, I don't get it, I guess I'll forever think of these things in the same manner a kid does.
Eh, I wouldn't say it's "the manner of a kid", because I was masturbating and fantasizing about women as early as...6 i think? So it's not just "kid brain" or whatever. You don't have to explain or justify it, I just assume people like you are just not wired to find sex appealing. No more, no less. Just like I'm not wired to find harsh BDSM/Rape fetishism appealing, or degrading porn. It's not my jam, it actively reduces my arousal in the moment. The only real difference between you and me, is your "not my jam" involves the entire spectrum, instead of just certain slices here and there. Which is fine, just like some people don't enjoy music at all, and others just don't enjoy some genres, I don't see it as anything different.

So like sorry if I'm super boring when it comes to that stuff, but you know I'm worse than vanilla, that being said if you do want to know something that's probably super tame because it's not like sexual or anything, but this is something I find massively embarrassing to admit, but I like it when people carry me, I don't know why since I generally dislike physical contact, but when someone carries me I get super flustered and kind of happy and I start blushing uncontrollably, I found out because a friend that really enjoys annoying me sometimes carries me to annoy me since he knows I hate being touched in general, so yeah that's it, it's not super juicy but I assure you that admitting this is extremely embarrassing to me.
....i mean that SOUNDS like basic physiological responses to intimate/sexual stimulus for people. That flush of adrenaline and slight embarrassment and flustering, but also kind of excitement, that's basically the starting point FOR sexual arousal in most people. And it just builds from there, the anticipation of the touch on another, more sensitive area, that would likely mean more sensation, thus pleasure. But if you are not into touch, and it generates a negative reaction in you, then yeah, it's not a real surprise that you don't find it appealing. You watch porn, and I suspect a large part of your brain is just freaking out with the "ermagurd they're touching each other! if that was me I'd be freaking out!" kind of background thoughts, thus making it hard for you to think of anything else. Same way for me if I'm seeing some kind of extreme scene in a porn clip, like suddenly they start slapping the woman in the face, or spitting on them, or just overall being a dick to them, that completely kills my vibe entirely. I'll click off and find something else, because it's not what I'm there for. I suspect it's like that to some degree, just with all of it.

*shrugs* My armchair neuro-psychiatry take on it for 2 cents I guess.

Regardless, you don't have to justify or explain whether you do/don't like something.
 

Crystal Violet

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I mean, I guess yeah I can relate? I love legs and butts, and would probably consider them a fetish....but I don't want to fuck them. I'm more than happy to enjoy
I think most people like legs or butts but the difference I think is that most people at mostly recognize the sexual aspects of them. What I want to understand is how people who are not like me would feel or how they would interpret with the scenarios I described.
 

Crystal Violet

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I find feet disgusting in general.

But whatever works for you, works.
I know a lot of people do but if you see other people barefoot does it register with you? Even as disgust? Or if you are barefoot around people are you shy?
 

Worgen

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Oh that I understand and I am not searching validation. I am simply trying to understand how a "normal" person would process barefoot people or being barefoot around them.
I don't know how "normal" I or anyone here could really be considered, but for me feet are just feet. I don't see them as anything special, not against them, not for them, they are just there. But if you do get enjoyment out of them, more power to you.

So like sorry if I'm super boring when it comes to that stuff, but you know I'm worse than vanilla, that being said if you do want to know something that's probably super tame because it's not like sexual or anything, but this is something I find massively embarrassing to admit, but I like it when people carry me, I don't know why since I generally dislike physical contact, but when someone carries me I get super flustered and kind of happy and I start blushing uncontrollably, I found out because a friend that really enjoys annoying me sometimes carries me to annoy me since he knows I hate being touched in general, so yeah that's it, it's not super juicy but I assure you that admitting this is extremely embarrassing to me.
Sounds like you might be an ACE. And a rather hardcore one at that.
 

happyninja42

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I think most people like legs or butts but the difference I think is that most people at mostly recognize the sexual aspects of them. What I want to understand is how people who are not like me would feel or how they would interpret with the scenarios I described.
I thought I did, you said "you love feet, but don't actually like feet directly." I love legs and asses, but I don't want to fuck them directly. They're just an aesthetic appeal for me. Some people DO want to bang legs and such.

But whatever.
 

Crystal Violet

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So like sorry if I'm super boring when it comes to that stuff, but you know I'm worse than vanilla, that being said if you do want to know something that's probably super tame because it's not like sexual or anything, but this is something I find massively embarrassing to admit, but I like it when people carry me, I don't know why since I generally dislike physical contact, but when someone carries me I get super flustered and kind of happy and I start blushing uncontrollably, I found out because a friend that really enjoys annoying me sometimes carries me to annoy me since he knows I hate being touched in general, so yeah that's it, it's not super juicy but I assure you that admitting this is extremely embarrassing to me.
Thank you for sharing šŸ„° It is unusual but not too strange for me. I always wonder with my own intricacies whether other people pick up on different things.

Regardless, you don't have to justify or explain whether you do/don't like something.
Agreed!

I don't know how "normal" I or anyone here could really be considered, but for me feet are just feet. I don't see them as anything special, not against them, not for them, they are just there. But if you do get enjoyment out of them, more power to you.
lol that is true I should consider where I am posting šŸ¤£ I think that your perspective is common but that a lot of people fall somewhere in between.


Sounds like you might be an ACE. And a rather hardcore one at that.
I would be reluctant to analyse a person's sexuality over a forum because there are many factors. Kae, you made mention of lots of trauma in many of your posts. It would be almost impossible for us to say that a person is truly ACE or all of the sexual aspects are aversive because the associated things like touch and contact have been damaged by abuse.
 

Crystal Violet

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I thought I did, you said "you love feet, but don't actually like feet directly." I love legs and asses, but I don't want to fuck them directly. They're just an aesthetic appeal for me. Some people DO want to bang legs and such.
Sorry I was unclear. I mean: if someone is not like me, they do not get aroused by seeing a barefoot person, do they still get shy or uncomfortable when barefoot or when the people they have attractions to are barefoot? And with the 3 example scenarios I gave with the jail, my brother's friend, and the TV with my dad, how would they interpret these situations or feel in them?

Sorry my English is bad. This is the first time I have written it in ages!
 

Baffle

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There used to be a foot guy here, had a Geralt avatar IIRC.

I've got feet. Currently wearing socks. Cold, might put trainers or slippers on. I'm not going out, so probably slippers. No, trainers.

Is it feet that people find disgusting (I don't specifically have an issue with them either way) or toes? Because toes can be a little odd. My smallest toe on each foot doesn't grow nails well. They always split (down the foot, not across) so they catch on socks and such. Horrendous, basically ready to be a monster in Pan's Labyrinth.
 

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I know a lot of people do but if you see other people barefoot does it register with you? Even as disgust? Or if you are barefoot around people are you shy?
At this point I avoid looking at feet rather unconsciously. My late girlfriend enjoyed being naked when she was comfortable, so I guess you could say I am used to people being barefoot. I mostly feel turned off when there's an emphasis on feet.
 

Crystal Violet

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There used to be a foot guy here, had a Geralt avatar IIRC.
Is it feet that people find disgusting (I don't specifically have an issue with them either way) or toes?
I think toes are the worst. I'm turned on when the feet are bare but I hate open toed shoes. Eww. Why stick those ugly things out?
 

happyninja42

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Sorry I was unclear. I mean: if someone is not like me, they do not get aroused by seeing a barefoot person, do they still get shy or uncomfortable when barefoot or when the people they have attractions to are barefoot? And with the 3 example scenarios I gave with the jail, my brother's friend, and the TV with my dad, how would they interpret these situations or feel in them?

Sorry my English is bad. This is the first time I have written it in ages!
No, I don't get embarrassed or aroused or anything for seeing people barefoot. I grew up as a kid in the South of the US, and it's fucking hot here, like, ALL the time. So it was pretty standard to just go around in shorts, no shirt if you were a guy, and shoes, but possibly also barefoot too. It was just too damn hot to really fuss about seeing skin most of the time growing up. So in your 3 examples, as someone who isn't a foot fetishist, and just sees feet as regular bits, I wouldn't get aroused or uncomfortable in any way. It's just feet as far as I'm concerned, primarily there for balance and locomotion, and occasionally to pick up small objects off the floor so you don't have to bend over.

I also, as someone who does find butts and legs arousing, am able to see them without instantly being made uncomfortable. I mean it depends on the context to some degree, as I'll definitely LOOK and enjoy it, but it's not like I suddenly flush with embarrassment, and be uncomfortable or anything. If they are IN MY FACE with it, literally shaking it like a stripper, that's one thing. But if someone just walked by in say, a bathing suit, that showed off legs and butts? *shrugs* meh, again, just too much time growing up with other scantily clad people of both genders to automatically freak out as seeing skin. Whether it's a spot I find appealing or not.
 

Kae

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Eh, I wouldn't say it's "the manner of a kid", because I was masturbating and fantasizing about women as early as...6 i think? So it's not just "kid brain" or whatever. You don't have to explain or justify it, I just assume people like you are just not wired to find sex appealing. No more, no less. Just like I'm not wired to find harsh BDSM/Rape fetishism appealing, or degrading porn. It's not my jam, it actively reduces my arousal in the moment. The only real difference between you and me, is your "not my jam" involves the entire spectrum, instead of just certain slices here and there. Which is fine, just like some people don't enjoy music at all, and others just don't enjoy some genres, I don't see it as anything different.
I guess, I don't really think I'm being childish by not liking sex, I don't know how people normally feel about sex as I've never been interested in it, but if I could hazard a guess however people feel about the people they aren't attracted to is how I feel about everyone, that's probably a better explanation, except I also just don't like sex in general.


....i mean that SOUNDS like basic physiological responses to intimate/sexual stimulus for people. That flush of adrenaline and slight embarrassment and flustering, but also kind of excitement, that's basically the starting point FOR sexual arousal in most people. And it just builds from there, the anticipation of the touch on another, more sensitive area, that would likely mean more sensation, thus pleasure. But if you are not into touch, and it generates a negative reaction in you, then yeah, it's not a real surprise that you don't find it appealing. You watch porn, and I suspect a large part of your brain is just freaking out with the "ermagurd they're touching each other! if that was me I'd be freaking out!" kind of background thoughts, thus making it hard for you to think of anything else. Same way for me if I'm seeing some kind of extreme scene in a porn clip, like suddenly they start slapping the woman in the face, or spitting on them, or just overall being a dick to them, that completely kills my vibe entirely. I'll click off and find something else, because it's not what I'm there for. I suspect it's like that to some degree, just with all of it.

*shrugs* My armchair neuro-psychiatry take on it for 2 cents I guess.

Regardless, you don't have to justify or explain whether you do/don't like something.
Sounds like you might be an ACE. And a rather hardcore one at that.
[/QUOTE]
Hardcore ACE isn't a term I had heard before, but yes I do consider myself to be asexual, if you want the terminology that we use in the community it's Sex repulsed Aromantic Asexual, I just didn't mention it because I know some people here really hate people mentioning queer stuff, so I felt it was better to just explain it, I guess.
I also don't really want to get into the debate of if asexuality is queer at all, it's a waste of time.
I would be reluctant to analyse a person's sexuality over a forum because there are many factors. Kae, you made mention of lots of trauma in many of your posts. It would be almost impossible for us to say that a person is truly ACE or all of the sexual aspects are aversive because the associated things like touch and contact have been damaged by abuse.
I mean I appreciate the sentiment but isn't that exactly what you're doing with that response?
In any case don't worry I take no offense to it, after all I volunteered all the information being discussed, so even if it's a rather personal topic I don't really mind, in any case I feel rather comfortable saying I'm Ace, even if I was severely traumatised for a while to the point that even handshakes were hard when I was a kid, it's pretty safe to say that regardless of the event I was never interested in sex before it (It happened when I was 12) and I haven't really been interested since, I assume if if I experienced attraction regardless of the event I would have still had crushes on people and be able to name people I was attracted to, yet I didn't experience those and I can't really tell you who's attractive to me specifically, like when people ask about a person being hot I honestly just don't know, I don't understand what hot is, I feel like if it was just trauma I'd be able to tell but just feel scared or disgusted by touch, but I'm not really scared of touch anymore, I just find it awkward and I have no idea if someone is hot.