Weird animal sex.

[Drathnoxis]

Everyone loves talking about sex, so let's talk about all the really weird ways some creatures reproduce.

Ducks: Ducks are really freaking weird. Apparently they grow a new penis every mating season and the length depends on how many other ducks are around and can be longer than the ducks entire body. The penis and the vagina are both corkscrew shaped but the penis spirals counter-clockwise and the vagina spirals clockwise. The penis is usually tucked away and kind of inflates out extremely fast, in a third of a second! Apparently all this corkscrew nonsense is an evolutionary arms race to fight rape. A third of all mating is rape but only 3% of ducklings are born as a result of a forced mating. Ducks also engage in necrophilia. Weird!

Banana Slugs: These are hermaphrodites and after sex they will sometimes chew off eachother's penises. Sometimes they'll chew off their own penis.

Deep Sea Angler Fish: The males are tiny compared the female. The male will bite onto the females stomach and will basically... grow together. Much of the male will atrophy away such as eyes and fins and their circulatory systems will merge. The male will be provided with nutrients while the female gains a brand new sperm organ. They never separate.

Honey Bees: Unfertilized eggs produce males and fertilized eggs produce females. Males are called drones and do not have stingers, collect nectar, make honey, or do anything really. Their job is to mate with the queen. During mating their penis explodes and is forced up the queens vagina. Apparently this is audible to humans. The drone then dies. During winter the workers(females) will place excess drones outside the nest to freeze to death to conserve food.

Sea Horses: The female deposits her eggs inside of the male where they are then fertilized and carried until birth. A typical birthing will result in 100-1000 baby seahorses, of which less than 0.5% of infants survive to adulthood.

Bed Bugs: The penis is very hard and sharp. The females have some protection for the insertion of the male's instrument but if a male accidentally tries to mate with another male it can impale and kill it's mate.

That's enough for now. Kind of makes you appreciate the relative simplicity of human reproduction and how you don't need to die or chew off your penis to do it. Anybody got anything weirder?

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

 

[Summerstorm]

So... picture this:

You see a nice lady over there: Healthy, bright, nice shell, about 500 times heavier than you: Perfect. So you swim over, have a nice chat - one thing leads to another, so you rip your "special" tentacle off, and let it wiggle into your new ladyfriend (She knows what to do with it - uses yours, maybe others to cultivate strings of eggsacks in her shell like a garden) ... also since you are clearly not needed anymore you can just go and die. Go champ... (This is what the Argonauts DO, google "ectocotylus" for more info on detachable arms which are also penises)

 

[Squilookle]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

It was a valiant effort, to be sure, but I fear this thread isn't about to become a talk about delicious sandwiches anytime soon

 

[Drathnoxis]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

It was a valiant effort, to be sure, but I fear this thread isn't about to become a talk about delicious sandwiches anytime soon

Only if they're part of a bizarre mating ritual. Preferably where one or more of the individuals die in the process. That's a very popular aspect of reproduction for many species.

 

[Squilookle]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

It was a valiant effort, to be sure, but I fear this thread isn't about to become a talk about delicious sandwiches anytime soon

Only if they're part of a bizarre mating ritual. Preferably where one or more of the individuals die in the process. That's a very popular aspect of reproduction for many species.

Don't google that... or you'll never eat a sandwich again

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

It was a valiant effort, to be sure, but I fear this thread isn't about to become a talk about delicious sandwiches anytime soon

Someone had to try. Someone had to remind this forum Sandwiches still exist

 

[Drathnoxis]

You know what I like? Cheese ball and baloney sandwiches. Those are yum, and I always meet the most interesting people eating them.

It was a valiant effort, to be sure, but I fear this thread isn't about to become a talk about delicious sandwiches anytime soon

Only if they're part of a bizarre mating ritual. Preferably where one or more of the individuals die in the process. That's a very popular aspect of reproduction for many species.

Don't google that... or you'll never eat a sandwich again

... I thought you were joking...

 

[09philj]

Antechinus is a genus of small rodent-like marsupials native to Australia. Males reach sexual maturity in slightly under a year. Upon reaching full sexual maturity, males stop producing new sperm, and large amounts of testosterone and corticosteroids are released into their bloodstream. They become extremely sexually aroused, and will become entirely fixated on mating, which they can do for up to fourteen hours at a time. The corticosteroids allow them to better utilise all of their stored energy, which is important as they're too focused on sex to eat, but they also cause the males to become immunocompromised, leading to hair loss, internal bleeding, and gangrene. Within two to three weeks of the start of the mating season, all the males are dead.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

So that'll be other people who've seen WTF: 101 I'm assuming

 

[Marik2]

wild west thread

 

[Wintermute_v1legacy]

The life of a male bee doesn't seem too bad. You do nothing all day, bang the queen and your dick explodes, the end.

I have to wonder what made you search all this info, though. I remember seeing a documentary once where a lady masturbated a big whale dick but that's about it.

 

[Specter Von Baren]

Bed Bugs: The penis is very hard and sharp. The females have some protection for the insertion of the male's instrument but if a male accidentally tries to mate with another male it can impale and kill it's mate.

If I remember correctly, I think the male actually has to puncture the structure that houses the eggs in order to fertilize them which is why it's so uh... hard.

 

[Drathnoxis]

The life of a male bee doesn't seem too bad. You do nothing all day, bang the queen and your dick explodes, the end.

I have to wonder what made you search all this info, though. I remember seeing a documentary once where a lady masturbated a big whale dick but that's about it.

I don't think I really actively searched for much of this. Kind of just, came across it over the years. I did do a bit of searching to double check some stuff before the thread, though.

Apparently a male Blue Whale, the largest animal on earth, has a penis 12 inches in diameter and 10 feet long, there was a picture where someone had one mounted on their wall. The testes weigh over a hundred pounds. It's estimated that they release around 20L of ejaculation in one go.

However, the Right Whale, though smaller, has testicles 10x the size of the Blue Whale! They weigh over 1000 lbs! I couldn't find a number for the amount of sperm but I think we can assume it will be roughly 10x the amount as well.

 

[madwarper]

Clownfish

A group is lead by a mating pair of a dominant female and male;
When the female is removed (dies), the dominant male becomes the dominant female and the next male moves up.

Puts a different spin on Finding Nemo... Doesn't it?

 

[Asita]

Octopus

You want to talk about parental instinct? About 40 days after fertilization, the female giant Pacific octopus lays between 10,000 and 70,000 eggs in a cave. They take about 5 months to hatch, during which time their mama stays constantly by their side, guarding and aerating them. She does not feed during this time, and dies shortly after they hatch (the male becomes senile and dies a few weeks after mating). In the words of Zefrank1: "Basically, everything they do is hardcore".

 

[Drathnoxis]

So strange just how many creatures just die after breeding, as if that was the entire purpose to their existence. Seems so pointless.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Octopus

You want to talk about parental instinct? About 40 days after fertilization, the female giant Pacific octopus lays between 10,000 and 70,000 eggs in a cave. They take about 5 months to hatch, during which time their mama stays constantly by their side, guarding and aerating them. She does not feed during this time, and dies shortly after they hatch (the male becomes senile and dies a few weeks after mating). In the words of Zefrank1: "Basically, everything they do is hardcore".

Octopuses are amazing! I didn't know they could change colour like that.

Actually that reminds me of something else.

Barnacles: Barnacles have possibly the largest penis to body size ratio of any creature on earth. This is because their shell is firmly fixed onto some surface and they cannot leave their shell. Thus their penis needs to be able to reach waaaaaay out to their neighbor if they are going to have any sex at all.

 

[Squilookle]

So strange just how many creatures just die after breeding, as if that was the entire purpose to their existence. Seems so pointless.

Breeding IS the point. If they die after breeding, for them its not pointless at all. It's mission accomplished.

 

[Specter Von Baren]

If you guys want some real interesting knowledge on some insects, including their mating habits then you should get the book, 'Life on a Little Known Planet', real good, interesting, and in depth information on several common insects like dragonflies, locusts, bed bugs, and flies.